Longfur

Give it a Rest

2011-07-20T15:40:00.004+08:00

This post has been brewing for a long time.

Disclaimer: There is no-one individual in particular that this is aimed at. If there are any similarities to stories, it is purely coincidental. However, if you identify yourself in one of the comments/stories...maybe it's something to think about? Again, not aimed at any one in particular...just some of my thoughts from the last 2.5yrs

Now that's out of the way...

I have come to realise in the last 2.5 years, just how judgemental and competitive mothers are. This may be old news to you, but to me I am staggered by the notion and tired of it - I'm also grouping myself into this category.

I had a natural birth so I'm better than those who had cesareans...I had an epidural and drugs, I didn't so I'm stronger...I had my baby in a bath or at home so my experience is better than yours.

I've breastfed for 3 months, 6 months, 12 months, 2.5 friggin years! Who gives a rats?

I don't breast feed, I bottle feed. I express, I don't...I don't shave my under arms!! (sometimes I do one side and forget the other!)

I use store bought food (isn't all of it in some form anyway?) I create my own blends, I only use veggies from my garden, I only use organic or preservative/additive free food.

I smack. I time-out. I like to be a bit more free-spirited. I do baby-wise I do montessori.

I have a routine, I'm flexible.

I love controlled crying/self settling. I prefer to cuddle for every cry.

I love my husband more than my children, I love my children more than my husband.

I don't give my children chocolates/easter eggs/lollies/juice...I do.

My 6 month old is walking - my 18 month old isn't...

I've got boys, I've got girls, which one is harder to raise? Aren't they all?? Their kids for goodness sakes! It's tough work no matter the sex.

And so it goes on and on.

I first came across this in a mother's group I joined when Eme was 3 months old. All the other bubs were only 8 weeks old and yet there was still an underlying competition between the parents. No-one wants to seem like they are doing the wrong thing, yet we all have differing ideas that we get insecure and worry about whether we've got it right or down pat. Sometimes though, this can start down the path of watching what others are doing and judging what they do and what their decisions may be.

"I wish she would just control that child" - while standing in the checkout line.
"I wish she would just smack them and be done with it!"
"How dare he feed his child that!"

I get it - I've thought the same thoughts. Had the same feelings.

But...I'm over it.

Who gave us the right (as parents) to become such oppressive and judgemental people? The baby is born and all of a sudden we're experts - though we claim not to be! We ask for the manual that should have come with the baby, yet we somehow develop a manual/Bible within the 1st year and judge how everyone else is doing by it.

All I'm asking is - can we just give each other a break? I don't like let alone enjoy living in such an oppressive society.

How about when gathering in our little mummy groups/girls nights/coffee catchups - How about instead of jumping down the mother's throat with advice and tips and "tsk tsk's", why don't we just try and listen.

"I'm sorry Harry keeps drawing on the wall while your cooking dinner. That sucks. I understand. I hear you. I still love you. You're not a bad mum, we all have tough days."

Whether you have 1, 2, 3+ kids - it's still tough work.

I can already sense the amount of flack I'm going to cop for posting this, but I can't not say anything anymore. I'm tired of it and I'm also guilty of it. If you are reading this and you have ever felt judged by me...I'm sorry. I'll try do better next time we meet.

And while I'm at it I have a confession to make. Yesterday, I gave Eme a McDonalds Happy Meal for lunch...and my 11 month old, Ava, yeah, I gave her an Easter egg I found under a couch. Shoot me now!

Stripping to retrieve my Dignity

2011-07-02T09:15:00.000+08:00

Isn’t it funny how we clothe ourselves in the words others have spoken?
Someone can say a small sentence to me and I will carry it for years.

Age 7 “She isn’t even wearing a real leotard”

Age 17 “You will never get a boyfriend, let alone a husband!”

Age 24 “I never took you for the mothering type”

It has occurred to me that over the years I have carried these words with me, and they have dictated certain things I do or say. I’ve clothed myself (self-image and confidence) and gone about my daily activities carrying these words, usually without even realising how they determine my reactions, words, and thoughts.

I may be struggling with the girls one day and suddenly the words will pop up in my mind “well, you know, you don’t really have it in you to be a mum…that’s why this is so difficult – that’s why today is so hard!”.

Why is it that we (I’m assuming I’m not the only one who does this!) mull over these words so much? Why do we carry these for years and let them dictate what we do?

I’ve just realised – in my ripe old age of 27 – that I have allowed these people and their opinions to shape me, rather than the opinion of the One who really counts, to shape me.

I’m pretty certain that God doesn’t think I’m a terrible mum. I’m pretty certain he had Russell in mind for me. And I’m also pretty certain that he doesn’t care how I look on the outside. He is the one who created me – even all the little quirky bits he treasures.

But why can I not start my day off dressing in the grace, love, compassion and confidence He gives?

I find it really hard to not care about what others think. In fact, I only care about what other people think and often I do things to please others rather than look after myself. I can be a bit of a push over – in certain aspects anyway! I often bust my butt to keep someone else happy, but end up putting myself out and piling to my stress pile.

I constantly worry over my words, whether I’m saying the right thing, whether I’m being understood/misunderstood, whether people are just being nice to my face and behind my back whispering “what crack is she on?” A side note here: A vast majority of my dreams involve my mouth being full of gum or my lips and tongue are swollen and I can’t speak or get my words out…they are VERY frustrating dreams!

And all of this worrying is starting to wear me down. I’m tired of doubting my parenting abilities. Tired of doubting whether Russ feels like he got ‘stuck’ with me (he assures me he doesn’t feel this way!) I’m tired of doubting whether I look appropriate or if I’m saying the right things.
So, this week I’m going to strip. I’m going to strip the labels and opinions other people have of me, in the attempt of God re-dressing me. God knows I need it! It’s going to be a massive journey and a bumpy one at that, but I can feel God tugging at me saying “c’mon now, you KNOW I’ve got better plans for you”.

I don’t want to live my life in fear, in fear of doing the wrong thing. I don’t want to live my life under the labels, opinions, and off-handed comments others make of me.

I want to live the life God has planned for me. I want to live that life in the body and mind that he created for me. Quirky bits and all!

Soft like melting ice-cream

2011-06-29T16:28:00.004+08:00

I think I may be getting soft in my 'old age'.

What used to irk me and get me all fired up no longer bothers me - as much anyway!

When I was 20/21 I would go to church and get so angry about...well...just about everything! Too many old songs, too many slow songs, boring unchallenging sermon, stale communion bread, etc etc...
But, as I have aged and hopefully 'matured' in my faith, some of these things no longer bother me. What does it matter how many old songs there are? As long as they are relevant and I understand what they are saying! I guess I still have the same issues, but they are no longer causing such a fire in my belly. I don't feel the need to jump down peoples throats or complain endlessly to Russell.

Ive been praying and looking for more opportunities for God to grow me spiritually. And while it hasn't felt too drastic, I have definately felt God's peace and reassurance settle within me.

I'm starting to be able to sit through a service and just worship or enjoy fellowship. I'm not saying things don't bother me anymore - because some things still do. There are still things which I think are important and play a part in each church, but for the majority I'm finding myself more and more happy. Which is definately a nice change.

Maybe it's thanks to my amazing small group - love you guys xxx
Maybe it's thanks to a couple who are mentoring Russ and I and who are so supportive in prayer and fellowship
Maybe it's just old age...I am nearing my 30s after all!

I don't know which of you chookies laid that egg, but....OUCH!

2011-06-22T14:10:00.003+08:00

Cuddles with Rahni

2011-06-22T13:53:00.005+08:00

I don't think I mentioned on my blog, but on Dec 15th 2010 I became an Aunty again to little Rahni Mae. She is Russ' first 'blood' niece so he was pretty excited :)

Yesterday she and her mum came for a visit and we got some cuddles :) She is very adorable! Russ was holding her and quick as a flash Ava flew over to him to show Rahni just who her Dadda is...she never goes to Russ for cuddles of her own free will, but if her Dadda holds someone else, she gets very jealous!!

Blossi in pink - Rahni in blue

"What's going on over here? He's my dadda!"

Quite a nice photo of them both!

New Course

2011-06-21T13:39:00.005+08:00

While I have put my nursing studies on hold I have begun another degree! Crazy...why yes indeed I am!

I was meant to continue my nursing studies at the start of this year, however I didn't feel I would be able to get it done with 2 very young girlies at home. So I decided to put it off another semester...which is due to start in another month or so! However, I have put them on hold again. I decided that it is not really possible to get to labs and pracs when I don't feel right having my daughters babysat or in day care. That's my responsibility! I made the choice to have children, and sacrifices need to be made. I am in no way saying that mums shouldn't work or study, and should dedicate their entire lives to their kids, but for me, this is my choice...and I currently choose to invest in them.

However, I did feel the need to occupy my mind with something a bit more than the lyrics to Wiggles songs. So, I am currently studying externally through Griffith University - a Writing Degree. I am majoring in both Creative Professional Writing and also Journalism. I enjoy writing (hence the existence of this blog) and it is one of the things that I feel I am (somewhat) talented in.

I have enjoyed my units so far and am getting some positive feedback. For my creative writing unit we have, for example, 7 writing tasks to complete every 3 weeks. We are given different topics and are then required to post them onto a forum where other students in the course can comment - it's kind of like a blog! We also have 3 major creative writing pieces we need to submit. In my other unit we need to read 5 well-known pieces of literature and have 3 major assignments and final exam on the books we've read. I am currently reading, Antony & Cleopatra by Shakespeare, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight by Unknown, Medea by Euripides, Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte and Anna Karenina by Tolstoy.....BIG I know! And as you can probably guess, the theme for the study period is Love and Marriage!

I am really enjoying it, and I am also enjoying getting feedback on people who are reading some of my written assignments. I'll attach a piece I wrote on the 12th of June - the topic was a 'Sensory Experience - a Day out with Friends'

"The sun streaming through the canopy of trees above, sting my eyes. The soft and slightly damp grass beneath, with toes wriggling between the long strands. The weight of her body upon my chest, I can feel her body rising and falling with each breath. I can hear her sucking her fingers and humming a little tune she has made up on the spot. We can smell meat and onions cooking on the barbie which only causes our stomachs to rumble even more. My daughter wrapped up in my arms, enjoying the warmth we give each other on a cool winter afternoon. The sounds of friends talking away and kids playing on the nearby play set. I tune them all out just to listen to my daughters breathing, and continue to feel the rising and falling. In. Out. In. Out."

I'm not really into writing descriptively, and I found myself feeling a bit try hardish with using descriptive words...but there ya go! It's good to go out of your comfort zone sometimes. To learn new things and develop current talents!

Procrastination Key

2011-06-20T16:23:00.005+08:00

Ugh...I'm using my blog as a tool for procrastination. I have a sink of dishes that are calling my name and some assignments I need to get a start on, BUT I've decided I need to put up another post ;)

On the menu for tonights dinner is Sticky Chinese Pork. I can't remember how I stumbled upon this recipe, but I've been wanting to try it out for awhile. Something about the word 'sticky' just grabs me! I'll post up whether it was worth the effort or not!

We have small group this wednesday night also and we are going to be starting our look at Rob Bell's new book 'Love Wins'. If you've been out of it for awhile - there has been a lot of controversy over this book. Hopefully it will generate some healthy discussion and we can all still be friends afterwards hehehe.

On a side note about our group, we got out of our comfort zones yesterday and helped out at a semi-local church! They were in need of some help with their music area, and we pratically contain an entire music team within our group, so we volunteered our time and 'talents'. We were hoping to be a blessing to the church, but I think we may have been the ones who were blessed! Russ and I got such a buzz from it that we couldn't stop talking about it for hours after! It's nice to finally do something for the benefit of someone else. Hopefully we all felt the same and will be up for it in another month...maybe...guys??

Anyway...I think I've procrastinated enough...I better head to those dishes :(

Cobwebs of Procrastination

2011-06-15T11:49:00.001+08:00

We have been living in our first (mortgage) home now for 3yrs and 8mths. And for around 3yrs and 6mths I have been thinking “I really need to clean these windows”. Only just this morning did I get around to doing them! While I was wiping the cobwebs away and rubbing away at some of the marks it got me thinking about different things in life we put off.

An argument with a friend that you never got around to resolving.

A letter of encouragement you meant to write and send but never did.

A simple “I love you” to a sister who rarely hears those words from your lips.

I tend to put things off a lot. There have been friendships that have gone by the way side simply because I haven’t taken the time, built up the courage or put aside my pride, to resolve any of the issues. There are cobwebs in my life that tend to continue to build up on each other. Yet, I always manage to find an excuse as to why I don’t ‘have the time’ or the courage to sort things out.

Maybe it’s not relationships that you need to work on, but it is money matters, or words of encouragement that need to be spoken. Whatever it is you’re putting off – put a stop to it! Stop the excuses and get on with it! I’m speaking to myself just as much here!

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” Matt 5:23+24 (v25+26 are also good)

It is surprising to me that within the Christian community there seems to be so many broken relationships. Is this simply because we are human and it is ‘human nature’ to not get along with everyone? Or is it something more? Look at David. He was being hunted down by King Saul who was attempting to kill him and yet when he hears of Saul’s death he mourns (2 Sam 1:11).

I’m getting a little side-tracked here :)

I could go down a whole other path here, but I will end it with this question:

What are you putting off till 'tomorrow' what needs to be done today?

Saosin - Voices

2011-06-14T10:55:00.000+08:00

Saosin

2011-06-14T10:47:00.000+08:00

Great-Grandparents and CAKE!

2011-06-13T19:04:00.006+08:00

This week we celebrated my mum's 50th Birthday!! Her father and stepmum flew over from NSW and also my dad's mum flew over to celebrate with us. It is always AWESOME when I get to see my grandparents and I enjoyed spending time with them. We had dinner together as a family on Friday night, partied with Mum on Saturday night and then on Sunday arvo went down to Mandurah and had fish n chips and a stroll through the Esplanade - letting Eme play on the park. I baked mum a Mississippi Mud Cake for Friday night...and I am not boasting here, but it is the best damn cake I have ever tasted! It is beautiful, and I am finding myself baking it on an almost weekly basis! I'm not sure if I'm prepared to share the recipe yet though hehehehe. I also made some Chai Chai Cupcakes. Chai tea infused...yummy and sticky :)

Mississippi Mud Cake

I normally just put a thick Ganache on top and serve cream on the side...however I had to transport this to my parents place so decided i would just pop the cream on top to save taking 2 bowls. However, my cake was still a tad warm and all the cream melted off by the time I got to my parents...I was not happy!

Chai Chai cupcakes

This just had a sugar syrup cinnamon topping

Aunty Di, Pa, and Ava

Mothers Day 2011

2011-06-12T10:50:00.007+08:00

This year I got to spend mother's day with 2 beautiful daughters! Oh, and I also got to see my mum, granny and sisters :)

In the morning Russ brought me a cuppa tea and some porridge - Eme decided she wanted to join in so brought in her glass of milk :)

My first Mothers Day with Blossi Chops

With my two cherries before bedtime

From left: Kate - mum to Kajah. Mum - mum to Me Robbo Kate and Dru.

Yours truly - mum to Emery and Ava

Granny/Gg - mum to Stephen Karen and Greg

Kaylee - mum to Landon and Evelyn (and one on the way!!)

It was a lovely day and I was so blessed to be able to spend it with all my family and in particular with my 2 cherries xxx

Winnie the Pooh - Waiting for a star to fall (Boy meets Girl)

2011-06-07T11:45:00.000+08:00

Last year my Dad was watching different clips on You Tube
and Eme was sitting on his lap watching with him. She loved this
song and it is now their 'special song'. So sweet :) I love the words
to it :)

What's Your Giant?

2011-06-07T08:14:00.002+08:00

I was reading a book last night that my Dad had given me for my birthday, called 'Facing Your Giants' by Max Lucado.
I was reading through and there was a section that had me in tears:

"What caused God to pick him? We want to know. We really want to know.
After all, we've walked David's pasture, the pasture of exclusion. We are weary of society's surface-level system, of being graded according to the inches of our waist, the square footage of our house, the colour of our skin, the make of our car, the label of our clothes, the size of our office, the presence of diplomas, the absence of pimples. Don't we weary of such games?
Hard work ignored. Devotion unrewarded. The boss chooses cleavage over character. The teacher picks pet students instead of prepared ones. Parents show off their favourite sons and leave their runts out in the field. Oh, the Goliath of exclusion.
Are you sick of him? Then it's time to quit staring at him. Who cares what he, or they, think? What matters is what your Maker thinks. "The Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1Sam 16:17)"

What/Who is your Goliath? Why do you care what he, or they think? Is it easy to just ignore them and no longer care what they think?

A Time to Heal

2011-06-06T22:12:00.003+08:00

So, I've taken a temporary hiatus from facebook. I lead a full and happy life and at the moment facebook makes parts of my life miserable.
I am a happy mum to two wonderful daughters (I love that word!), I have a beautiful loving husband who doesn't just tell me things to fluff my ego but who loves me enough to be honest with me and help me to become a better person. I have a loving family. I've started a Uni Degree which I am loving - like I said...a full life.
I'm just finding that when on facebook, you have so many contacts/"friends" and it is so easy to interact with each other. It's good because you can communicate with a mass amount of people which you could never do in your every normal day...you just couldn't possibly interact with that many people in a day! So, you interact with people more than normal, and in my mind, I guess I get too familiar with people and they may not necessarily feel the same way back...if that makes sense?
Anyway...I'm not the type of person who would try to tear shreds off people, and I don't like being made to feel otherwise. I'm not a malicious person...but facebook has made me feel otherwise.
I love the ease of communicating with my beautiful small group, I love seeing what family over east are up to, and I love getting to see friends photos of their lives.
I just need a break from it all. I have too many other important things in my life which need my attention. I have two daughters who deserve my invested time in them as little people plus I have my blog, which allows me to write what I want...cos it's mine. I often wake at 2am with words that come to me in my dreams, and I love to write so I will pick my blog up where I left off and endeavour to keep it a bit more maintained :)

My "creation" admiring Creation

2011-06-06T17:33:00.002+08:00

I love watching Eme admire God's creation.
She always points out the moon when she sees it, and gets very upset if she can't see it because of cloud cover!
I'm loving and enjoying her starting to talk more. The other day I was clipping her into her car seat and she 'sniffed' me and said "smells good mumma!" and continued sniffing me! Love it.
And I love her!

Old Update of My Birthday

2011-06-05T09:24:00.009+08:00

This year for my birthday I just had a dinner with my immediate family (without kids hehehe)

I decided I wanted to enjoy some delicious food and have all the kids babysat so that we could enjoy our meal! However, our babysitters fell through so we had our girls there, but we just kept them up all day then put them to bed early in time for we adults to have dinner :) - mean aren't we!

Russ and I get carried away when it comes to hosting sometimes. We decided to do a little 'My Kitchen Rules' style, but without the judging!!!

We had pre-dinner drinks outside under our gazebo with little solar and fairy lights everywhere, then we had entree, main and dessert.

We gutted out our living room and turned it into a "fine-dining" atmosphere and had decorations and everything! We had the time of our lives organising this, and we also LOVED serving our family a beautiful meal (if I may say so myself) without the expense of going to a restaurant.

Entree was Marinated Prawns with a green Thai salad
Main was Beef Eye Fillet (served Medium Rare) on creamy mash with beans
Dessert was a choice of (my personal favourite) Baked Banana Caramel Cheesecake with warm Caramel Sauce OR Mississippi Mud Cake with fresh cream (boy was it Muddy!!)

It was a wonderful night and I had an absolute blast! It actually made me think we should do something like this once a month where you can put out an open invite - the first 10 to respond, get to come along to our place...pay $30 for a 3 course meal and meet people you've never met before and have an enjoyable night!! It's an idea anyway (like Jamie Oliver did in NY)

We called our 'home restaurant' Autumn Skies and we had little menu's for everyone, along with suggested wines for different courses and guests were told to come in Cocktail attire

Here are a few pics from the evening:

A bit blurry, but it's our transformed lounge room

Entree

Unfortunately we were having so much fun, we forgot to snap the other courses

Table decorations. Fish bowls filled with Autumn Leaves surrounded by candles

Group shot!!

Was pretty dark in there!

Obligatory shot at the end of the night of ourselves :)

Family Dynamics

2011-06-05T09:20:00.000+08:00

It’s funny how families are so different to each other.

I recently became more aware of this after dinner with my in-laws one night. We were sitting down to dinner and I found a small hair on my plate and said jokingly (with a smile on my face and everything) “this better not be a pube!!” Pretty soon I realised I was the only one laughing!!

Later on, in the car on the way home, I was informed that this is not something my husband’s family would not and DO NOT find funny! I thought it was hilarious! I knew it wouldn’t be a pubic hair! I wasn’t accusing anyone of cooking our dinner naked or anything! It was completely absurd, so that’s why I thought it was a funny JOKE!

I come from a very open family. Not grotesquely open…we don’t discuss things that are private between marrieds…but we still have fun and joke about pretty much anything and everything! I’m not used to finding myself being the only one laughing at a joke at the dinner table.

Now, I admit, the joke was probably a little inappropriate, my bad.

I actually am glad that I come from an open family however. If there is ever a problem, it is usually discussed and sorted out! (more often than not anyway) My sister, beautiful Kate, is even more strong-headed than I (in my opinion ;)) and we usually have disagreements, but neither of us is too scared to pick up the phone, have it out with each other, apologise and then make up :)
I’m glad we can get things out in the open, though sometimes it can be a painful process, it is always better in the long run. I’m not saying our family is perfect in any way, but I’m glad that 8/10 times things get sorted and people are open and honest with each other.

I’m not having a go at my in-laws here either! They are beautiful people and a beautiful family, they are just different and do things different – which is fine!! (except when they are not laughing at my jokes!)

I guess I’m just becoming more aware of it as my girls grow. What sort of family do we want to be? Well, I hope we can always be open and honest with each other, but also know when to hold our tongue ;)

Ava's Birth story

2011-06-01T12:17:00.002+08:00

The story of Ava joining us in this world (began much the same way as Eme's if you know what I mean) but is also quite different to Emery's Story.

My due date was August 24th. I found out Christmas Day of 2009. I knew I was pregnant but I wanted to wait till Christmas to do the 'official test' and to tell Russell. While there was the initial excitement that we were going to be having a second child, I was a little upset about the timing as I was about to start my Uni degree in Nursing. The plan there is to eventually become a Midwife funnily enough!

So, the pregnancy didn't really start off on a good foot. I was being selfish I knew. I wanted the best of both worlds. I also didn't want to look like the fruit loop at Uni...huge pregnant belly dragging around books people whispering under their breaths 'teen pregnancy!!' (I look like I’m only about 15 these days!!) But I was determined to get through it (mainly because people said I shouldn't - note to all, if you don't want me to do something don't tell me...I'll try prove you wrong).

So along with a couple of other things this didn't set the pregnancy up to be easy. I was stressed at Uni because of the heavy books, having to park a half hour walk away from classes, getting lost, being stressed at home as Eme would cry every time I went anywhere near close to a computer/book to study, stressed because 'baby brain' was in full swing, while still trying to maintain relationships with those who are close in my life. I wanted to be superwoman. I wanted to be able to do it all and cope as though it was all just a walk in the park. The first time I went to see a Doctor at the hospital for the pregnancy was when I was 30 weeks into the pregnancy and had just sat my final exam at Uni. The midwife was NOT impressed that this was the first I had come to see a Doctor about the pregnancy.

Around 34 weeks into the pregnancy the doctor I was seeing said he was not happy with the baby's size and with the size of my belly. He said I was a few weeks behind what I should be, so a few tests were organised. I went in for a couple of CTG's and had an ultrasound a couple of weeks later. The sonographer said that everything looked fine. So off I headed home. Only to be called an hour later by the sonographer saying that he wasn't happy about the umbilical cord. He said that there was an artery missing and that the baby wasn't getting enough of a blood supply, he had booked an appointment with an Obstetrician for the next morning which I had to attend. What followed in the next couple of weeks was countless appointments being hooked up to CTG machines and ultrasounds. On the 19th of August I had a phone call from my OB saying that she wanted me to come in the next morning for another CTG - she just wasn't happy with the results of all the previous ones. So the next morning was a stressful one. The 20th was my Dad's 50th birthday. My mum had been planning a huge party for him for that night. She had asked my siblings and I to prepare speech's and I needed to pick up some cheeses to bring to the party. My friend had joked earlier that she thought this bub would be born on the 20th just in time for an announcement at my Dad's party (she wasn't far off!!) Anyway, that morning I threw on a jumper (no under top or bra) and some trackies (most comfy thing that far in the pregnancy) and took Russ to work. On the way home I was going to run into the 'Spud Shed' and grab the cheese for the party. In the parking lot of the shop I bumped into a very old friend who I hadn't seen for around 5 years...great timing I thought! Some crazy big woman running around without a bra on!! I was SO embarrassed. I quickly grabbed my cheeses and left! When I got home around 8.30am I received yet another phone call from a midwife saying that I needed to come in ASAP to be induced. She explained that the OB had spent the night tossing and turning and was just not comfortable leaving the baby in any longer. She would be a lot happier if the baby was just born and checked over (not that they can put it back if it's not ready!!)

I'll just make a note here that we hadn't found out the sex of the baby. We didn't find out when we were pregnant with Emery, and we didn't this time round either...that is until the last ultrasound I had at around 38.5 weeks. I was starting to feel a bit depressed about everything and I needed a little 'pick me up'. I asked the sonographer if he could tell me the sex...after he told me I cried for 2 days. But that's another story!!

So, after finding out I needed to go in and be induced I burst into tears. I just wasn't ready for it. I called Russell and cried and he sorted out getting home and leaving work 'stuff' with other people. I called my mum whose first response was "did you tell them it's your fathers birthday and you have his party tonight?" which made me even more upset and I just kept crying. Feeling bad that I would probably miss Dad's special day, and they would be stuck watching Eme when they had so much to plan already. I was mainly upset though because I wasn't ready for my time with just Eme to be over. She had no idea what was about to happen, I didn't want to lose the special bond I had with her.

Most of the pregnancy I felt that this baby was going to intrude on my relationship with Eme, and I resented it a bit. I was quickly trying to say goodbye to her and she didn't understand why I was so upset. I dropped her at mum and dad's place where I realised that mum was just in shock as was I and so didn't react in the best way. Her, Dad, and my Grandma prayed for us before we headed off to the hospital which was comforting.

After getting to the hospital and lead into the delivery room, I was just so anxious. This was nothing like Eme's birth. I wasn't mentally prepared for this. My body hadn't gone into its own labour, I was being interrupted with medicine and I just hadn't had the time to mentally prepare for the birth. When you first go into labour you have time...which I think God created that way so that you can mentally prepare for what is about to come!

They checked my cervix and decided that because it wasn't ready they would need to apply a hormone gel. After being there a few hours it wasn't until 1pm that the gel got applied. But my goodness, as soon as it was applied I could feel my back start to ache and slight contractions start. By 2.30pm I was having full blown contractions 1 minute long and a minute apart. In my mind I thought, great I'm nearly done! This baby will be here any minute. My midwife came along and hooked me up to the CTG machine which I had to stay attached to so they could monitor the baby and make sure she didn't get stressed. I also had to be attached to a drip again as I did with Eme due to Strep B. My midwife checked to see how my body was going and proceeded to inform me that my body wasn't in labour. Uh....excuse me?? What do you mean I'm not in labour?? She then said that the gel just gives you the pain of labour in the hopes that your body will go into labour on its own...so start dilating etc. She said I was just having pain from the gel and that my cervix had not dilated AT ALL!! This was NOT what I wanted to be hearing! This was around 4pm. She went and got me some sandwiches and some drinks, but I was not interested in food at all.

Russell had bought some magazines earlier in the day, and since I wasn't really in the mood for a 'chat' so he sat in a chair next to the bed and had a read.

Before I was induced I had told the midwife that I wanted an epidural - I just wasn't mentally prepared for the birth. I had just had a phone call in the morning and that was all the preparation I had!! (other than the previous 9 months hehehe)

When you naturally go into labour I believe God created it to be a slow (ish) long (ish) process so that you can mentally prepare for what is about to happen, but once medicine intervenes and you're straight into labour, there is not prep you can do...you just have to go with it. I'm all for natural births (and I didn't REALLY want an epidural) but I just didn't feel like I could do this on my own. I was bound by fear.

So, while in labour (my body pretending to be anyway) I kept telling the midwife that I really needed that epidural NOW. She kept telling me that she couldn't give it to me because I wasn't in established labour, and that until I was 4cm dilated I couldn't have it. I kept telling her that it must be illegal to put someone into this kind of pain and not give them pain relief. That I couldn't do it. I had a breakdown really. I cried and she was really really good with me. I kept telling her that I wouldn't forget and every time she walked into the room I told her that I NEEDED that epidural. She would laugh with Russ (when I wasn't looking so I was told later) and Russell was really supportive and comforting.

At 6.15pm she came in to check if I had dilated at all and discovered that I hadn't. She had spoken to my OB about stopping the labour and re-starting a little later but the OB had said no. I was devastated. I didn't want to have to re-start, but this was just getting silly with no dilation!
I had been having 1min long contractions with 1min breaks in between for the last 3 or 4 hours and was at my wits end. Around 6.15pm they started to hit me with 2 consecutive contractions for 1min each (no breaks in between) and then a minute break. So, 2 contractions, 1 break...not a good ratio if you ask me!! The midwife had other patients to check on and had left the room. She didn't think bub would be born till the next morning. She offered to give me a shot of pethadine and a shot of something else that started with 'M'...she said the pethadine would help relax and calm me, and the 'M' shot would make me sleepy and hopefully help me get some sleep. So I agreed and had the shots.

So, the midwife was out of the room and I had Russell sitting next to me reading his magazines. I instantly felt woozy and sleepy. I would ask Russell a question and instantly forget if I had asked it or if I had just imagined asking him, so I would ask him another three times! He had called family to tell them that things would probably not happen till the next morning...my parents were getting ready to head down to dad's big 50th birthday party.

After a while, probably around 6.45pm I felt my waters break and I shuddered. I muttered to Russell that my waters had broken and he nodded and kept reading...thinking that it would still be quite a while off. After about 5mins I started to feel the urge to push. I told Russell that I was pushing, and I swear I have never seen him shoot up and out of a chair so fast! He ran off to find a midwife and left me pushing away on my own!! I was told later that he had trouble finding someone because one of the nurses had gone on dinner break and there was only the one midwife around and she was with consulting with someone else. They both ran back into the room where I was still pushing away, the midwife saying "what are you doing?" "oh my goodness oh my goodness!". Another push and my little girl was born...7.06pm. The midwife had yelled into the hallway for someone else to come help and they honestly only just made it in time. I was saying over and over again "my baby, my Ava, my baby" I just held her and was completely in love. Because I had only just had the shots I was still as drowsy as ever and was having so much trouble keeping my eyes open I just wanted to sleep!!

So I cuddled Ava and every now and then would close my eyes for a little sleep :)

Sure enough she was born just in time for Dad’s party which started at 7pm! I missed going to Dad’s party and celebrating with him, but I will at least get to celebrate his 51st with him!! I now have my first daughter born on her great-great-grandfathers 100th birthday, and my second daughter born on her grandfathers 50th birthday!! Which is pretty special.

While the birth of Ava didn’t really go to plan (the plan was originally a water birth in my own time) she still arrived in her (and God’s) timing and she is still healthy and beautiful. I am so blessed to have experienced child birth twice now! They have been the BEST experiences of my life! Though labour and child birth is pretty hard and mentally tough, it is something so special, it’s hard to describe.

I love BOTH my daughters. My gems….the cherries on top of my sundaes (the best part!). They are such blessings and I am so blessed to have both of them.

Xxx I love you my specious and bloss xxx

Tsk

2011-02-17T14:12:00.002+08:00

Tsk tsk tsk

It has been far too long!

I haven't been able to blog properly because we don't have an operating computer OR laptop at home at the moment... and we can only do so much on Russ' iPhone so my poor blog is suffering to say the least.

Recently I've been lying awake in bed at 2.30am thinking of brilliant blog posts (if I may say so myself) but I haven't been able to write them. Russ suggested I write them in a notebook...but I can't handwrite as fast as I think so there's no point. I could jot notes I guess, but it's not the same as when the words flow and you can quickly type them down.

I have started writing Ava's birth story....

actually I don't think I even got to announce her birth on here!!!

Ava Kate Aimee was born to us on the 20th of August 2010 and all is fine and well. She celebrates 6 months of life in about 2/3 days!! It has gone crazy fast!!

More info will come once I get her story finished and posted up here though!

We will hopefully get the internet connected up at home soonish and the computer operating so I will definately endeavour to write more posts hehehe

I'll just finish this quick post with a quote by Katharine Hepburn

"If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun"

Letter

2010-07-16T09:09:00.003+08:00

Dearest body,

I know you've had to undergo some drastic changes recently, but honestly you've got to pull yourself together!

For example, the boobs...if they get any bigger they will explode by the time any milk comes in! It'll be like the baby gets knocked out by a safety bag everytime they go in for a feed!

The muscles...they can't stretch any further. You may continue trying, but they just can't do it! It's almost as though they are being pulled off my backbone...and it's getting a little sore.

Belly...well...where to start. I can no longer put on my socks, pants, or undies without aid from a third party. And we both know that I can't go out in public with just a top on if I just dress myself. People may ask questions. I can't cook on the hotplates without cinging you and I can't reach that mars bar that fell under the couch.

Oh, and the belly button has asked me to pass on, that it too, can not go out any further. Its reached its limit. Actually it reached its limit about 6mths ago, and it's not going to be pretty if things continue.

Brain, you served me well with exams, but the everyday stuff, you are falling short! Only shaving one underarm or leg then forgetting the other...not on. Dropping hubby off at incorrect work place...not on. Forgetting child when visiting someone...not on.

Body, you have served me well these last 26 years. All I ask is that in this last month, maybe you could give me a break. I know it's all 'worth it in the end' but at the moment....the end seems too far away, so if you could just pull yourself together this last month that would be great.

Yours sincerley, bek

Just the 'tip' of the iceberg

2010-07-08T13:07:00.002+08:00

The possibility that we could be having a baby boy is 50% (duh), but we are pretty sure its a little boy...

Anyway....so with this inkling that we may have a son comes the thought (naturally...or maybe not for some) of circumcision.

This was all I could think about the other night and I had all these other ideas about it but it was about 2am and now I can't remember any of them (typical)!

So, I will put it out to you all out there! Is circumcision still necessary in today's day and age?

Here are a couple of questions:
1. Why cut off something that a baby is born with naturally? (God created men this way)
2. Is it just another form of plastic surgery?
3. Is there anything to prove uncircumcised men have better sex?
4. God is the creator of sex and wants us to enjoy it, so why would he command his treasured people (Israelites) to cut off something which would make sex less enjoyable? (and yes God loves all of us!!)
5. Does circumcision prevent disease in women?
6. Should we just go with "Whatever daddy has, his son will have?" (it appears some men are quite sensitive about this!)

There are lots of thoughts and opinions about circumcision and I dont think it is fair to make parents who do opt to have circumcision performed to be cruel and barbaric people.

This is something Russ and I are still looking into and discussing and trying to decide on what to do.

Any thoughts people have would be really appreciated!!

The Extent of Eme's Vocabulary

2010-06-21T21:09:00.002+08:00

more? (sounds like a question when she says it) = obviously, she...wants...more
sweestree? (again, sounds like a question) = Sesame Street (and I want to watch it!)
sues? = shoes
sues? = socks
sues? = feet
ooey = woolly (her blanket she carries EVERYWHERE. the one I made!)
da = thankyou/ta (though it is a rareity)
baby = baby dolls
teddy = teddies :)
ETdee = Jet (our dog) / Jetboy
noooo = no
dontee = don't touch!
argh = argh (she copies me growling at Jet)
kai = kajah (her cousin)
illy = landon (her cousin)
dada = anyone and everyone
mumumumumumumu = I want something mum

I'm sure there are others, and at the moment the list is expanding everyday! I just want to keep a record of her words at 18.5mths along :)

Is it true?

2010-06-21T11:17:00.005+08:00

One of my units that I took this semester was called Sociocultural Perspectives on health. And yes, it is a bit of a mouthfull!

It's called a bit of a 'nothing' unit as it is basically just common sense. As a nurse/health professional we are going to come into contact with people of other cultures, and we need to have a bit of an understanding that all cultures have different views on health.

For one of the assignments we had to choose a country or developing nation and look into how social determinants have affected that people groups health. I had too many ideas running around my head, and in the end I went for the easy option (or so I thought) of the Australian Aboriginal/Indigenous population of our country.

Now, I'm not going to bore you with what I wrote and all the facts and info, but one of the things I came across was the 'Stolen Generation'. And I have found that whenever this topic is brought up, it brings about fierce debate. Especially amongst Chrisitans!! One of the most interesting viewpoints I have come across is that it didn't happen and it's all lies!

I thought I might bring this up on my blog just to see what other people's thoughts are on the matter, as it seems to be quite an interesting and endless topic of discussion!

Before doing any research on the subject, I was a bit of a fence-sitter. I was probably more-so on the side of intolerance however. I believed that it happened, but from there on I didn't really (and still don't really) have a set or concrete view on it.

One of the advised or recommended extra research tools for the subject was to watch Rabbit Proof Fence - after watching it I'm not sure what it has to do with health, but it was interesting none the less. The most standout scene for me was watching the 3 girls removed from their family. Whether this is an accurate representation or not, to watch this as a parent is heart-wrenching. I cannot imagine what I would do if I were ever to be forcibly separated from my children. You can watch the scene I am talking about here on this link.

I don't think anyone can deny the truth of the 'Stolen Generations'. I believe it happened. Considering the all documents of the legislations held in WA at the time. You can't disproove history I don't think. Here is another link which is really interesting if you have time to flick through and read.

I guess I'm really interested in people's thoughts out there. Particularly how people feel we should approach this as Chrisitans. I really have no idea. I believe we need to show grace, and I believe we need to be compassionate, but after that I don't know! Should K.Rudd have done the apology? What good did it bring about? I'm white, so I have no idea!! And maybe that is the problem. I'm not from the 'Stolen Generation', I don't know what it is like to be removed from family and placed under the 'care' of others who are trying to 'breed out' my heritage.

I don't know, I really don't know. I hope I don't come across racist or anything, it's just one of those topics that I am really questioning at this moment, and I would love to hear any feedback people feel open enough to share.

2010-06-21T11:14:00.001+08:00

This is the first time in a long time. Ive got a hot cuppa tea, Eme sound asleep, and no other distractions or thoughts running through my head.

Blog posts....here I come!

Remind me again why I'm doing this?

2010-06-12T17:16:00.002+08:00

If stress brings on an early labour, I wouldn't be surprised if this baby decided to come next week! I may need to start collecting people's guesses and estimates soon!!

I have never been so stressed in my life. Getting married was nothing compared to this...neither was giving birth! (or the stress involved in the leadup to that big moment!)

I have 3 exams this week. Mon, Tues and Thurs. and I have never felt so inadequate or stressed in my entire life.

I have been studying everyday for the last 2 weeks (not including all the study in the weeks beforehand) and nothing is sticking. Most people make jokes about baby brain, but I truly think it really is something chemical inside the head that goes astray. I can't remember to put my pants on the right way or drop Russell off at the correct workplace, let alone all the ins and outs of the human body...and they tell me this is very basic human biology.

I have spent this afternoon crying, a couple days last week crying, and I am physically exhausted. I can study a module all day and night, and come to refresh myself the next morning, and it's like I'm reading a foreign language. It just does not make sense and I cannot understand any of the concepts.

Why am I studying this? Why am I not studying where my natural talents and gifts flow? This would be so much easier if I was studying the Arts or Teaching, but no, I want to be a midwife.

I've decided that I may need to defer my studies until we have had all our children. This is really hard for me as I want it all now! I want the 4/5 kids, but I want to be a student at the same time. I'm realising that I made my choice when I was 24 and had Eme and that I am just going to have to live with the consequences. I absolutely love being a mum, and I would give up anything for my children, and this is one of things. I need to put aside my own selfishness and put my children and husband first. I'll get there one day...just not in my own timeframe (funny that isn't it!)

If anyone is reading this, I could really use your prayers. I've been praying for the last 6 months for God's help, and I still feel like I'm doing this on my own...so some intercessory prayer is definately what I need.

2010-05-24T09:40:00.003+08:00

Well....oh my....it has been a long time. And I am quickly losing interest in starting every post with that!

I always think that I can do it all. Mother, Student, Wife, plus all the other things I like to fit in between. Like knitting home made items and cooking up a storm, and the occassional thought of overseas mission trips and of starting up charities!

I'm only just starting to realise that I CAN'T do it all. But I very rarely will ever admit that. Not until I'm curled up in a foetus position crying for a day. Even then, I get up the next day just as determined to do it all.

I've really enjoyed being at Uni so far this year, but I've had to make my sacrifices. I either sacrifice time spent with Emery and Russell, or I sacrifice study time. Plus I feel like I've sacrificed the time normally spent bonding with the baby I'm carrying. I have no real connection to this baby yet and I'm concerned that this could lead to Post-natal depression later down the track.

My last exam for Uni will be on the 16th of June, so I'm just counting down the days till then. Then I feel like I'll be able to get back on top of everything. Back to being a real mother and wife. Then I get selfish though and wish I wasn't having this baby so that I could return to my studies next semester. That's when the thoughts of "I can do it!" come in and I start to toy with the idea of having this baby in amongst my studies in the second semester. But I also don't like admiting or thinking these things just in case God decides to take this baby from me! Argh!

2 weeks ago Russell's Pop passed away on a Saturday morning. He was like a real Pop to me. He and Nan were the only one's to really accept me into the family and make me feel at home. To have pure acceptance with no strings attached...it's very rare to find that. But he and Nan have passed away this year and it feels as though the Ingram side of the family are a little lost without them. We had Pop's funeral on the following Thurs. morning. At which, I received a phone call from my dad saying that my Pop had passed away that morning. So then, Sunday night I flew over to Sydney to join the Furlong family and to say goodbye to my Pop.

That was the most interesting, emotional, and stressful week I have ever had. All beginning with the flight over. It was a red-eye flight and I was flying with my sister and her daughter, no husbands. Eme was sick with a chest infection and didn't sleep most of the flight, and just as we started the descent into Sydney she vomitted everywhere. It wasn't just a little spew, I'm talking 5/6 big chucks. I had to strip her down (the poor passenger next to me was an angel and helped me incredibly) and she entered Sydney airport with just her socks on and bathrobe...hair full of vomit, walking around like one of those crazy women you see in the city sometimes (this IS Eme I'm talking about too!). I had only slept 1hr in the last 30+ hrs and burst into tears when my Dad and Uncle picked us up. I couldn't sleep during the day as I had gone past the point of sleeping and we all literally crashed into bed that night.

It was a long 4 days and I was starting to wonder whether I had made the right decision in going over, but once I got to the funeral, and the day was (mostly) about Pop I was thankful to have gone over. I loved my Pop. He was always fun and he was the only person who could get away with calling me 'Becky'. Which he did my ENTIRE life.

I missed Russell more than I ever have - I left him at the airport crying because I was going to miss him - and he picked me up crying because I had missed him so much! (Friggin' hormones)

It's amazing how much someone can squeeze their way into your life, to the point where you are feeling like something is missing when they are not around. We will celebrate 5yrs of marriage this June and it has gone so fast - but has been the best ride, thus far!

We are also in the middle of finding a new church. Seems we go on this journey every 2yrs or so, so in order to ensure that this DOESN'T become a 2yrly event, we are catching up with our old Bull Creek pastor & his wife to discuss church, spiritual and life issues. This has been really beneficial (after only one meeting anyway!) and it has been a real blessing to set aside time to discuss and pray intentionally about something so important.

We are alternating between going to Mosaic and Thornlie at the moment - but there are a few spanners that are being thrown into the works that are starting to make things difficult...again.

There wasn't really much point to this post...I guess I just felt the need to write this morning. Plus I'm procrastinating getting into some study. Who needs to know the ins and outs of cells anyway!

Sibi Update

2010-02-20T09:23:00.011+08:00

Yesterday we got to go have an ultrasound to see everything was going well with Sibi.

They say that it is used to check for downs syndrome, but all I want to see is a heart beating.

Bub looks good and very different to Eme!! Heartbeat was 20bpm then Eme (Russell thinks this is because it is a boy) and was barely moving around. Was quite happy to just lay there crossing its legs and floating around! Eme at her 12wk ultrasound was bouncing all over the place!

Hopefully this means this bub will be a little more low-key than Eme...but I don't mind having two psycho's on my hands!

Hullo Everybody!!!

Resting hand over head

Quote of the day

2010-02-13T12:22:00.001+08:00

"The love of liberty is the love of others;
the love of power is the love of ourselves"
- William Hazlitt

No more secrets

2010-02-07T20:09:00.001+08:00

Ive had to remove the anonymous posting on this blog because I'm getting to many losers leaving silly advertising comments. This blog isn't a billboard.

Old News

2010-02-03T10:52:00.002+08:00

So, you may or may not have heard through the grape vines, but we are having another baby!!

We are due the 24th of August and are just as excited as we were with Emery.

This pregnancy has been quite different to the last. While I was quite sick in the first 16wks with Eme, I haven't been all that sick this time. I just feel rotten most of the day and night. But I haven't been vomiting on trains...just the once on our front lawn :)

Last time all I thought about all day and night was the pregnancy and the baby, but this time I am too busy with Eme all day to give much thought to this pregnancy. At first I felt really bad because I was worried that I wouldn't love this baby as much, but after hearing a sermon by Erwin McManus, I realised that we don't have to 'split' our love between people, but that love grows. I felt a lot more confident and am still just as excited about this bub as I was about Eme.

Emery was known as the bub-o-luv, so this next bub will be referred to as 'Sibi'. Which is short for sibling. It's how we refer to the baby with Eme...trying to teach her to be a big sister to her sibi. She really has no idea, and I don't think she is going to take too well to having to share her parents, but I'm confident that we can still show her just as much love if not more when the new baby comes.

By around week 7 of this pregnancy, my belly button reverted to its 'old ways' and popped out :) I still don't show all that much, but it's funny how easily the body returns to pregnancy. It's an absolutely beautiful and amazing thing, and I am so blessed to be carrying this little one. We women are truly blessed.

Russell has been an absolute rock for me these past weeks. He has been on holidays for the last 6wks, and he has been the biggest help. He has changed sooooo many nappies, and looked after me every day, and never complains. I'm constantly apologising for ruining his holidays, but he is a gentleman and always says that they're not ruined. It's been interesting with him going back to work this week, but so far I've survived. You've just got to get on with it I guess!

I've also changed from full-time study to part-time this semester, and then I will have to take a break till the baby is old enough for me to return to study. Some people wonder why I'm even bothering, but I'd rather start now, otherwise I will never get to it. I'm slowly starting my journey to what I believe God has called me to (midwifery) and I believe that he will guide and lead me on this journey.

So, that's some of our news and I hope that I can keep you all regularly posted on how we're doing!

Watch this space!!!

Newest Edition to the Family!

2010-01-16T11:54:00.002+08:00

I am an Auntie for the 3rd time over this week!

My brother and sister in law welcomed the arrival of their daughter, Evelyn Rochelle on the 13th.
Weighing a healthy 8lb9oz and 50cm long.

I unfortunately dont have any photos of her yet, because I left in such a rush to go meet her I forgot my camera :(

Congrats Robbo and Kayls! We are so happy for you and so thankful to God for the newest beautiful niece!

xoxoxoxo

A cleaner 2010

2010-01-09T09:33:00.002+08:00

For Christmas, Russell got me the present I have been dreaming about for a couple of years.

A worm farm!!!!

I was SO excited! We FINALLY got to set it up yesterday and we've already dropped some of the waste that normally goes into our bin.

PLUS, we finally filled our veggie boxes with soil and we will get to use all the worm juice on our fruit and veggies. They love it :)

I'm so excited! I'm loving it! Things are starting to come together in our backyard finally. And we are LOVING spending time as a family in the backyard.

2010

2010-01-02T11:23:00.000+08:00

Hmmmm....
Resolution for 2010.....
blog more!

Quote of the day

2009-12-05T10:07:00.000+08:00

"I cannot hear what you say for the thunder of what you are."

- Zulu Proverb

Life Observations #7

2009-12-05T09:55:00.001+08:00

35. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

36. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my itunes.

37. Why is a school zone 40kph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

38. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

39. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

A Years Reflections

2009-11-19T09:15:00.018+08:00

This time a year ago, I was sitting in a hospital bed in absolute disbelief that I had finally met the babe that I had been carrying for the last 9mths.

The pain of the night earlier had all been forgotten and I was now staring into the beautiful blue eyes of my daughter.

This past year I have learnt so much about myself and my family and most importantly about God.

I have had my faults clearly brought forward! Not necessarily a pleasant thing, but a necessary thing none-the-less. I have had my eyes opened to the things that I need to deal with and the areas where I desperately need God's grace.

I have learnt about love - just how deep it is possible to go! That there is absolutely NOTHING that I wouldn't do for you my 'specious' daughter.

You have made me laugh so much more in life! You are hysterical! Dada says you have no chance seeing as how you are with me all day...but you are truly a crazy one! Those faces you pull...the noises you make...the actions you do...the predicaments you get yourself into! My stomach is constantly sore from laughing so much.

(Like I was saying!!!)

You have made me a mumma...which is all I have ever wanted. I still stress that I'm not fulfilling my 'duties' that I'm letting you down in huge ways. That I stuff up too much to make up for the good stuff.

My prayer for you as you enter into this next year is that you will continue to grow healthy and strong. That you will continue to make those around you laugh and smile. That you will start to learn to know about Jesus and the love he has for you. That you will listen to you mumma and dada - we only have your best interests at heart! - that you will continue to grow into a joyful girl.

Feb 2008 I prayed for God to heal my heart. And he has...with a beautiful daughter none can match. You are the part of me that was missing and I am such a blessed woman because of you. You have healed my heart and brought me joy...my beautiful Emery Joy...

I love you with all of my heart 'specious'. Happy 1st birthday xoxoxo

Life Observations #6

2009-10-17T09:17:00.001+08:00

30. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

31. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

32. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever. (or in my case...who gives a rats tutu...I'll wash it however I want!!)

33. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this.It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

34. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

Life Observations #5

2009-10-03T12:15:00.000+08:00

21. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

22. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

23. Bad decisions make good stories.

24. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

25. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Life Observations #4

2009-09-26T12:00:00.000+08:00

These are some of the funniest so far!!! I love 19 :)

16. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a d1ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

17. Everytime I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

18. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

19. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

20. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

Life Observations #3

2009-09-19T12:20:00.001+08:00

11. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text

12. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say"

13. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

14. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

15. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

Life Observations #2

2009-09-12T09:19:00.001+08:00

6. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

7. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

8. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

9. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

10. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

Life Observations

2009-09-05T09:03:00.002+08:00

I received an email recently with over 40 life observations. I'll slowly post them, maybe only 5 at a time.

1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

2. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

5. Do you remember when you were a kid; playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in the world did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or faq's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

Avoid the Top Reason for Marriage Failure

2009-08-25T11:47:00.002+08:00

By Rob Furlong
Challenge Newspaper July 2009

It was rather sad to read recently about the collapse of the celebrity marriage of Aussie singer, Peter Andre. Andre and his wife Katie Price were married after falling in love on a reality TV show called “I’m a celebrity…get me out of here!”

Over the course of their three and a half years marriage they have gained notoriety for their heated arguments that have been screened on yet another reality show. The couple has gone from a literal Cinderella style wedding to a separation that has become very nasty and hurtful and played out in full view of the public.

It seems to me that there is always a common thread running through the collapse of celebrity marriages: selfishness! Celebrities are involved in an industry that caters to their every whim and desire, no matter how ridiculous it may seem. The entertainment industry feeds that most basic of human weaknesses, self-centredness as well as fostering and promoting it. So when you have two people involved in an industry like that you can expect a lot of selfishness to come out in their marriage relationship. No wonder celebrity marriages implode so often!

But here is an interesting thought — we are no different in our relationships! It has been my experience that the number one reason behind the collapse of a marriage is plain, old fashioned selfishness.

Why won’t a husband pick up the tea towel for his wife and dry the dishes for her? Selfishness!

Why does a wife disregard her husband’s wishes and still
buys her “must have” new dress or shoes? Selfishness!

Why do two people refuse to listen to each other but still
expect the other person to listen to them? Selfishness!

Why does a husband or wife seek to find comfort in the arms of another lover? Selfishness!

Whether you are a celebrity or not you are still infected by the terrible disease of selfishness. And when selfishness goes unchecked in a marriage it usually spells out death for the relationship. Our tendency toward selfishness is clearly in mind in the following quote from a marriage counsellor:

“Marriage is not so much about finding the right person as it is about being the right person.”

As simple as that statement is, it has enormous consequences for you if you decide to put it into practice because it forces you to stop focusing on yourself and to begin focusing on the other person, which is the essence of true love.

I find this kind of wisdom about relationships in the Bible, especially the Proverbs. Here are just two for you to think about:
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.”

Excellent here refers to a virtuous woman — a woman of tremendous class and quality. A woman who is proud of her husband; one who shows him respect and is unashamed to do so. Such a woman has the highest place in man’s life — she crowns it! But a woman who openly despises her husband and is constantly critical of him and his decisions is like an infectious disease. Simply put, a woman can make or break her man. If she is going to “make” him, then she will need to be unselfish.

And husbands are also told “to rejoice in the wife of your youth”. In other words, instead of moaning and complaining about what she does and does not do, remember why you married her in the first place and keep on encouraging those good things in her today. How easy it is for us men to forget all the good things about our wives and only focus on the negatives that we see.

If we want to change our relationship for the better then we must stop focusing on ourselves and begin asking ourselves how we can better serve our partner — this is called unselfishness and it has the power to transform both you and the other person.

Isn’t it time you picked up a tea towel?

Name Calling

2009-08-20T09:41:00.002+08:00

I (we) have a few names we call Emery.

Eme

Eme-joy

Eme-joy joy joy

Ssspecious girl

Sweet Cheeks

Bubba

Bub-o-luv

(this one is from her Grammy) Myjy (pronouned midgy)

Ssspecious girl came from me one night. I was trying to tell her she was special to me and a precious girl and I accidentally said ssspecious. It's stuck ever since!

And myjy is my mums name for her. It stands for My Joy

I don't know if I ever went through the names we gave to Eme.

Emery was a suggestion from Russell. It was the name of one of our bands we enjoyed and we thought it quite a pretty name for a girl.

Joy is my middle name and I wanted to pass it onto Eme as it holds quite a bit of meaning in our family. My mum had 3 miscarriages before she had me, and when I was born I was such a 'joy' to her and dad. After I had my miscarriage I decided that if we ever had a girl, her middle name would be Joy also. Considering my mum thought she would never have children, let alone grandchildren...I thought it would be a nice reminder of God's grace and faithfulness.

Kade (her 2nd middle name) is a combination of my mum & mum-in-laws names. KAren & DEnise. I thought I had invented a name, then found out it's actually a real name (for boys)

So, there you have it. What's behind a name...

Who has an interesting story about their name or their children's names?

Domestic B!t@h

2009-08-12T17:38:00.002+08:00

Dropping my husband off at work the other morning, I notice that a mum dropping off her kids at school was driving a huge 4wd with a sticker on the back window...it said "Domestic Bitch". Strange I thought...

The next day I see a young girl driving down the freeway with a sticker on her back window saying "Queen of Bitches". Strange again....I thought....

That was until I saw someone else with a number plate that said "beyooootch" (or however it is that you spell it!)

This is when I started to wonder if I was possibly missing a few screws up top. Am I missing something? Did I miss the memo that came out saying that it's now cool to call / refer to yourself as a bitch?

I personally think of the word/name as a really sharp word! I think it is a really 'cutting' word and not one that I would ever want to use to describe myself. Yet, so many women, young and old, are starting to refer to themselves in this way.

As I said, I may be missing a few screws/nuts/bolts...but I honestly don't understand this new 'fad'.

A tranquil life from just $240k ???

2009-08-10T17:23:00.005+08:00

There is a certain road that Russ and I drive down regularly and the above is on a billboard next to a new estate that is slowly rising.

Every time I see the sign I can't help but smile at myself. What a joke! If all it cost me was a measly little $240k to have a tranquil life I would start saving.

But, we all know that there is no price tag on having a tranquil life. A new house with new furniture and beautiful neighbors houses is not going to give me a tranquil life. We may have the appearance of being tranquil, but inside may be a different matter. Inside we could be struggling with depression, anxiety (at having such a huge debt), disjointed family relationships, tension in our marriage, children who are crying out for more of us and turning to others/objects for satisfaction.

Just having a new home is not going to give me a great family life, nor will it give me fulfillment in my work or relationships.

Now, I'm not saying that having a new home is wrong. What I'm saying/asking, is what is the intent behind having a new home? Is it because we believe that it will restore broken family relationships? That it will remove some of the tension in our marriage?

A tranquil life doesn't have a price tag. And the sooner we stop listening to the lies we are force fed everyday, the sooner we will be able to move down the path of having a truly tranquil life.

Every Mother's A Working Mother

2009-07-11T12:08:00.001+08:00

Written by Barbara Curtis

It was the kind of splendid September day when sending kids to school just feels wrong. Fortunately, that year I was homeschooling and calling the shots. Plus we were living in California, an hour from the Pacific Ocean. For all I knew, it could be the last day of summer, and we wouldn’t want to miss that. So it was off to the ocean with five children under eight – Josh, Matt, Ben, Zach, and Sophia.
Together, we cleaned up from breakfast, prepped the car, then gathered beach blankets, umbrella, towels, swimsuits, diapers, sunglasses, sand toys, first aid kit, sunscreen, a cooler full of snacks and drinks – ay yi yi yi yi! Hello, motherhood – goodbye spontaneity.
I loaded the assorted car seats and strapped, snapped, and buckled five wiggling bodies into Big Blue – the 1989 Suburban we grew out of only a few years later. And we were on our way.
With everyone else in school, the whole beach was ours. I staked out our territory close to the water, hauled everything down from the car, and set up camp. For five hours I served as personal valet, sunscreen slatherer, weather advisor, recreation director, swim instructor, lifeguard, EMT, food concessionaire, manners consultant, bus boy, interpreter, peace negotiator, psychologist – not to mention lost-and-found.
Finally, I hauled everything back to the car, strapped, snapped, and buckled five sunscreen-and-sand-coated no-longer-wiggly warm, limp bodies back into Big Blue and headed for home.
The sun through the window was soothing, and the car was full of contentment. It had been a wonderful day and I was pleased with myself as a mother.
Then from the back seat, I heard Zachary clear his throat, and in his deadpan four-year-old Eeyore voice ask, “Mom, when are you going to get a job?”
“This is my job,” I said, somewhat amused and just a little edgy.
But homeward bound, as the kids fell asleep one by one and I was left alone with my thoughts, I began to see the beauty of Zach’s question: somehow – even though it could be hard work and even though I had my testy moments – my kids didn’t think of motherhood as a job.
And I decided that was a good thing – because it’s not really a job at all, but a calling. And callings just don’t look like jobs, because they require more of a person than a job requires.
Which makes it hard for moms whose days are spent conquering mountains of laundry, creating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and kissing owies.
We live in a world where success is measured by progress – as recorded on report cards, sales reports, performance reviews, pay raises. And symbolized by ribbons, trophies, and merit badges. In our lifetimes, our husband and children will bring scores of these items home and make us proud. We’ll put them in scrapbooks, sew them on uniforms, frame and hang them up for all to see.
But I don’t know of any special awards for teaching a child to tie her shoe or come to dinner when he’s called. No raises or praises when a mother drops everything to drive someone out for posterboard: “Your project’s due tomorrow? But it’s almost eight o’clock!”
Every day this goes on: everyday moms doing everyday things – sometimes struggling with feelings of inferiority or even worthlessness – just being obedient to their call.
But while motherhood can look easy – it’s certainly not rocket science, after all – the irony is this: while lots of important people in important places conduct lots of important business every day, the truly most important work in the whole world is really going on at home, where the CEO is mommy.
And God is like an equal opportunity employer, giving every woman in the world – through birth and adoption – this wonderful, unequalled opportunity.
I guess if we got disgruntled enough from lack of appreciation, we could start a Mommy Power movement (the same seeds of discontent that began the feminist movement – only in a direction away from motherhood). We could have bumper stickers that say: If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy
We could sue people who put us down at parties and maybe even get a special mention as a protected minority not to be discriminated against.
But that wouldn’t be very mommy-like, would it? Because there’s something about mommies that should be soft where others are hard, kind where others are cruel, patient where others can’t wait. We may not start out that way at all, but there’s absolutely nothing like motherhood to change anything about us that needs to be changed.
At least, that’s how it’s been on my motherhood journey. I set out to make a home, to grow a family, and to help my children reach their potential.
The most amazing thing is that while I was helping them reach theirs, God was helping me reach mine.
Be sure to hug a mother today!

Quote of the day

2009-07-11T11:40:00.000+08:00

"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."

- H.G. Wells

Epiphany - Schmiphany

2009-07-08T22:06:00.004+08:00

As I stood at a checkout of a well-known surf shop this afternoon I had an epiphany! YES an epiphany :)

I realised that for the majority of my life I have tried to define myself by what I own and how I present myself in society. Instead of putting my time and energy into working on my character and who I am in Christ, I've been trying to keep up appearances...though it wouldn't seem so these days!

As Russ and I wandered through the shops today (a rare occurrence these days) to grab a present for someone, we were talking about how hard it is these days to find and maintain our identity.

You may not believe it, but once upon a time, I had style! Some may not agree, but I put my own stamp on whatever I wore. I had a unique style and it wasn't uncommon to spend most of my weekly pay on maintaining that style, that identity. Now we are in a place where I haven't bought anything new or nice in a VERY long time. Most of what I wear these days are practical...not trendy. And I am finding myself feeling lost. I feel that I have lost a part of me.

When I walked into 'Live' today I just wanted to sink into the floor. They had some jeans on sale which Russ suggested I try on. My current jeans...I somehow managed to break the button. It's sort of there but only half there so I can't put it in the button hole...can't remember how it happened, but I currently have to wear a belt to hold my pants up! So, anyway, Russ wanted me to look at these ridiculously cheap jeans. When I walked in I suddenly became very aware of myself. I'm not wearing anything nice, my hair has regrowth the length of a giraffes neck, no makeup, and remnants of pumpkin spew on my shoulder. They had those horrible lights in the changerooms that show EVERY flaw. I felt like I had no right to shop in such a trendy store. I left feeling even more lost and even more ugly than before.

Anyway...that's not what this post is about. But I guess why I wanted to post was because of my epiphany. I'm tired of chasing the unattainable. I am slowly realising that there is more to this life than what I look like. I want to start living my own life. I want to work on my character, who I am in Christ.

It's easier said than done though. It's easier to say that I will work on developing who I am (at heart) rather than who I appear to be. I wish I could be the 'yummy mummy' that society expects of young mothers these days. I wish we had the money to keep up appearances. Russ could keep getting his music and I could keep my style...my identity, who I, who we are.

I guess it's going to be a long journey. One that I hope I will come out of better off. Knowing who I am and finding my identity in Christ. That no matter what I wear, what sort of house we live in, what my children wear (as long as it's something) that He accepts us as we are. That He loves me and that I can be worth more than the clothes on my back.

So, I don't know what I've come to after all that. It is really late and I should be in bed, but I'm watching the 'living with Michael Jackson' and I must admit I'm a little hooked...talk about an identity crisis!!

4 years on...

2009-06-25T08:09:00.000+08:00

It would seem my husband beat me to posting anything today!!

www.mybeautifulbek.blogspot.com

My precious Niece Kajah Jade (pron Kya)

2009-06-07T15:53:00.007+08:00

Having a cuddle with my favourite niece :)

Look at all her hair!!

Eme starting to get a little jealous...no joke...she chucked a huge hissy fit just after this photo!!

How handsome is he??!! VERY!!

Trying to capture all her hair in the photo...though I missed about 3/4's of it!! There's SO much

Cute as a button!

I'm an Auntie again!!!

2009-06-06T08:40:00.003+08:00

Welcome to the world little Kajah Jade :)
Born 11.30pm 5th of June weighing in at 7lb 14oz (Emery still holds the title for biggest bub in this family - go Eme!)

She has jet black hair like her mumma and Kate looks as though she just went for a walk through the park! Even though it was roughly 2days she labored for! Ah, the gift of the young!

Anyway...I'm off to buy ribbons and bows and all things PINK then I shall be visiting our precious petal this afternoon.

Looks like both Sarah and I were wrong!! However, I did guess girl :) I at least got that right!

Adios!

Repair the past with Forgiveness

2009-05-27T15:55:00.002+08:00

By Rob Furlong
Challenge Newspaper April 2009

Forgiveness frequently comes up in the news — whether it be another story about innocent people being killed in an overseas conflict or family members grappling with the devastating loss of a son or daughter in a car accident that was not their fault. Whatever the situation, at some point the people involved will face the issue of whether or not they will forgive the perpetrator of the crime.

Forgiveness is also a very real issue in marriage. The health of a couple’s relationship can often be determined by the willingness (or unwillingness) of a husband and wife’s readiness to forgive each other.

I have talked with many couples over the years and I never stop being amazed at the way in which people hang on to things that they did to each other years and years ago and the overwhelming pettiness of it all. “She did this…” “He always forgot…” “I never do that…” On and on it goes.

At the risk of being misunderstood, let me stress that I am not saying that their hurts (or yours) are insignificant and that they should be simply glossed over. All I just want to point out is that, at some point in the relationship, someone has to have the guts to forgive the other person. If this does not happen then the couple is either headed for the divorce court or they will simply learn to co-exist under the same roof in a permanent state of “Cold War”.

Gordon MacDonald in his book “A Resilient Life” writes persuasively about the importance of regularly practising forgiveness in our relationships. He uses a term to describe forgiveness that I find refreshing. He calls it “repairing the past”. If you think about it, that is precisely what we do when we forgive someone: we repair the wrong and the relationship.

In taking this step, I want to be very clear that forgiveness does not come cheaply. In marriage, for example, there should be a genuine acknowledgement by one party that what they did was hurtful and also a sincere commitment by them to change their behaviour. And the other person, then, freely forgives the guilty person from the heart.

I am not suggesting that I don’t struggle with forgiveness either; believe me, I have my moments! But throughout our marriage, Karen and I have regularly practised the discipline of forgiving each other. We have used simple words too. One of us will say, “I’m sorry for…I will change…” and then the other will say, “I forgive you.” (And mean it!)

You may think it sounds childish and perhaps the whole idea of actually saying the words “I forgive you” makes you feel awkward (it does!), but it has contributed to both of us keeping short accounts with each other and not allowing petty resentments to build up that over time would undermine our relationship.

On a gloomy Friday afternoon, with His life ebbing away and surrounded by a jeering, hate-filled mob of accusers spitting and cursing at Him, Jesus uttered some astounding words: “Father forgive them…” In that awful, dreadful moment, He was still able to forgive. This is the essence of the what He did on the cross: to purchase our forgiveness. And it challenges us to forgive also. And when we forgive, we repair the past.

May your Easter be blessed, and your marriage, as you receive and give forgiveness.

Baby Guess-a-thon

2009-05-21T13:18:00.003+08:00

My little sister is due in roughly 2 weeks. Her first little baby...

I'm so excited!!

How bout we have a guess-a-thon? I kinda ran outta time to do one for myself before Eme was born...either that or I was just too lazy hehehehe

Anyway...here is my guess for Kate:

Date: 6th June (she is due the 4th)
Time: 2.36am
Sex: Girl
Weight: 8lb 2oz
Length: 51cm

So...in the comment section, leave your guesses!

25 Things By Russell

2009-05-05T13:33:00.002+08:00

Things I love about bek (a b'day present)

1. Your crazy morning hair
2. How dedicated you are to being a mum
3. How you build me up as a man
4. The way you cry when your angry
5. Your cute lil ears
6. The way you love me even when I don't deserve it
7. The crazy noises you make for Eme
8. The fact you gave birth to our child - that you went through all that pain
9. That sexy butt of yours
10. How you listen to Disney music and Hardcore music
11. The way you make meatballs
12. The silly dances you do
13. The lil songs you sing to Eme - they help create memories
14. Those beautiful blue eyes
15. Your style thats so 'you'
16. How impulsive you are even when I say it's frustrating
17. How passionate you get about things that you can't sit by and do nothing
18. Your cute little nose
19. How loyal you are to those you love
20. The face you pull when your not happy with me - it's scary but I still love it
21. Your tiny but very seductive lips
22. (cannot be repeated in public)
23. That you're my best friend and I get to spend this life with you
24. Those long Irish Dancing legs of yours
25. That YOU chose ME! I love you!!

My legacy

2009-05-02T10:48:00.003+08:00

What an interesting week it's been!

I turned a quarter of a century...yes I'm officially in my 'mid-twenties'.

And a good family friend passed away.

We attended his funeral yesterday and it has really messed with me. As I sat there, looking at the 4 young men and his wife he has left behind I really started to question God. Why did he allow this? He was still young and it doesn't seem fair?

I then started thinking about what will people say at my funeral? We all have to leave this life one day. Death is a fact of life. But, what have I done with my life that is of worth? Have I served God to the best of my ability or do I just keep wasting each and every day away?

I also had a few doubts about heaven and afterlife I guess. Not that I doubt there is a God, but the afterlife is such a unfathomable subject. We cannot comprehend what heaven is like...

It got me thinking about my life and what I'm doing with it. Most the time I am just going day by day and doing nothing. I got a new resolve yesterday though. I want to be known to have loved greatly. To have loved and raised my children to grow up and serve our God. To have not wasted my time here and that I served God and placed him first in my life.

I said to Russell last night that all I can think that he would say at my funeral is that I thought farts were hilarious. Not much of a legacy if you ask me.

In the past couple of months I've been thinking about my future, job wise. Since I was 5 all I have ever wanted to do is midwifery. However, I have never chased after it because I am held back by fear. Fear that I'm not good enough, smart enough, committed enough. I've always put my wants and needs first rather than consulting God and praying about it. This year though I have been seriously praying about it, and I feel God is leading me onto further studies. Curtin University offers a course which is 3yrs long. It is an undergraduate Bachelor of Science (Midwifery). Have theory have practical. It sounds like the perfect course for me. They only have intakes once a year, so I've missed this year. But that means I have until November to sort myself out and to keep praying about it. And YOU at home have until then to pray for me.

If I don't get accepted into this course, I will apply to a couple of Uni's to do Nursing for 3yrs and then I would have to do an additional year specialising in Midwifery.

Anyway...that's only one of the things I've been thinking about since the funeral yesterday. I just kept dreaming last night about death and what I'm doing with my life.

I just feel like I've had 25yrs already, and I have done nothing. Would people come to my funeral? Would they say 'yeah, she was ahhhlright.' or would they say that she was a woman of worth, a loving wife, mother and committed to her Saviour and that she lived a transparent life?

Anyway, there's just so many things going through my head at the moment I kind of have made a mess of this post.

I guess I am wondering if people have thought about what they would want people to say at their funeral? Have you thought about it? Has it changed how you live your day to day life?

All my prayers are with the H. family as they have been the last 7mths. Thankyou for all your hospitality and love you have shown myself and my family over the last 15yrs. xoxoxoxo

Slicked Nostril Hairs

2009-04-25T16:46:00.003+08:00

Bek: I have a fluff stuck somewhere in my nose

Russ: Is that so

Bek: Hey, do we ALL have nose hairs?

Russ: Yes

Bek: I think sometimes mine get slicked back

Russ: .....

Bek: yeah, sometimes it's like the air gets right in there and my nose hairs are slicked back, and the air hurts my nose cos there's nothing to stop it. The air dries out my nostril 'cos there's no hair to stop it tunnelling. You know?

Russ: .....no....I don't know

Bek: ....yeah, sometimes they just slick back

Sisterhood Award

2009-04-25T16:31:00.003+08:00

Thanks Sarah for nominating me for the Sisterhood Award which is for female bloggers who are considered inspiring and encouraging.

This is what she wrote about me on her blog:

Bek at Longfur. She has a baby now so she can't blog as often as she used to but I really miss her posts just about following Jesus in everyday life. Come back Bek!

I really missing being able to blog as much as I used to...and I do have plans to blog more...but they are usually foiled by a sucking machine!! (who I love to death!!)

Now I need to nominate five other blogs to share in this award.

I'm going to return the award to Sarah at the Sedshed. She was pretty much the first blog I started reading. She is honest, open and an amazing writer. She isn't scared to ask the tough questions...oh and she tends to invade my dreams sometimes!!

Jen from Abba's Princess. Jen is a mum of 5...YES 5!! Which I find amazing...I would love lots like that too! She does an amazing job as a wife and mother and she too is open and honest about the struggles and joys of being a parent (and wife). She is funny too... and dedicated!! She started the whole writing 100 things she loves about her hubby! I do believe she posted 1000 things!!! AMAZING!

Ummmm...I'm sure there are more...but I honestly can't think of any!! I'm sorry if that offends! I'm the same as Sarah...I mainly read blogs by guys, so I can't really think of anyone else I'm sorry!!

Anywho...pass it on girls and THANKS for your open hearts and posts!

Tithing update

2009-04-25T16:27:00.004+08:00

Thanks to all those who commented on my last post. It was good to get a discussion going on this blog again!!

Now, I received a few concerned messages during the week, and I just wanted to say that the main point of my post may have been missed. Russ and I are fine (relatively) we are still eating, and still alive over here!! I was just wondering what people thought about tithing as it is a subject that almost everyone has a different view point on.

So, please don't panic...it's nice to know people care...we are fine. :) and we are eating :)

On another note, it has been great to discuss what people think about tithing and to re-evaluate (as a family) what we do in regards to tithing.

I hope the post challenged you and made you think about what you do with your money, and where your money goes!!

In these "tough times" does God really want us to tithe?

2009-04-12T14:35:00.002+08:00

Firstly, a HUGE thankyou to those who commented and gave me advice on taking Eme on her first plane flight. She was a dream baby and went FANTASTICALLY! I will update on the trip soon...but for the moment I have something on my mind.

I am out of work. My maternity leave has officially ended, and since I am not returning to work full time, I am out of a job. I cannot commit more than 2 days a week to work and therefore, the majority of businesses out there don't want to know me.

This is an odd feeling for me. I have NEVER been knocked back for a position. EVERY interview I have ever gone for, I have gotten the job! So it came as a bit of a shock last week when I drove all the way up to Innaloo (from Kwinana) to go for a job interview that only lasted a maximum of 10mins to then be told I hadn't got the job. I was shell shocked!

Now, after a weekend away we have returned home to reality. A reality that we cannot live off Russell's chaplaincy wage and that if I don't find work THIS week, we may just not survive.

At the start of the year we decided that we really wanted to make sure that we tithed every week. We have tithed off and on since being married, and I really felt challenged by God this year to make an effort to always tithe. So, even though it has been scary to tithe, I've still been receiving a maternity leave pay and so it hasn't been too big a deal to tithe.

This week however, if we tithe, I don't think we will be able to afford groceries, let alone the electricity bill sitting on our fridge. But I still find in my heart that God is wanting us to tithe. I am of the opinion that God will still look after us and that he will pull through. However Russ is of the opinion that sometimes God wants us to use 'common sense' and save the tithing money and use it for our groceries, etc.

So which is it? Can it be both?

I am so confused right now and in amidst of all this unknowing and uncertainty I still feel a strange peace.

I so desperately want to be a stay at home mum. I want to focus all of my time and energies into being a mum and a wife and taking care of the family home, but I feel this huge pressure to go back to work so that our family can simply exist.

I don't feel God's leading in anything, other than to stay faithful to him and to tithe. But maybe I'm not hearing right...I don't know anymore.

I just simply don't know what to do.

How have your family's been going through these times? I find it hard to say that Australia is having a financial crisis, and that we are all doing it tough. We have had it so good for so long that I think this has been a much needed wake up call.

Have you and your family been tithing? Do you think God wants us to still tithe or do you think he wants us to have some 'common sense' and spend our money more wisely?

I need some Mummy Advice!!

2009-03-20T09:31:00.002+09:00

On the Easter weekend we are flying over to Melbourne for a wedding.

Now, Emery is sleeping through the night - for roughly 12hrs and our flight is a 'red-eye' flight and we land in Melbourne roughly 2am (Fri morning). What do I do with her? Is this going to seriously mess up her routine? What if she cries the whole flight? Do I just try feed her to keep her quiet?

I know the weekend is going to mess her around a little, but I'm hoping it won't be too bad and that when we get home she will be ok, but I would really appreciate if any mum's out there have done this before?

Are there certain things I should pack? What should I take on board with me? What should we do when we get to Melb?

I'm planning on keeping her feeding times the same as WA time. We are only there for a short period of time so I don't see the need in trying to re-set her body clock.

Anyway...any advice or ideas would be FANTASTIC!! Thanks guys!

Soap Operas and Romantic Endings

2009-03-12T12:51:00.001+09:00

By Rob Furlong
Challenge Newspaper Mar 09

I can honestly say that I have never watched a single episode of Neighbours or it’s mutant offspring Home and Away so I recently went online (in the name of research) to see what I had been missing. To say I was utterly bewildered by the end of my search would be an
understatement — I was totally confused!

I do have to admit though that I laughed loud and hard when I read the plot-line concerning a guy named Bob who lost his leg in a mountaineering accident only to be re-united with it when it (his leg) was discovered by a young couple on a romantic weekend camping trip. Can you imagine it? “Oh my, isn’t that Bob’s leg hanging from a tree? We must tell him quickly!”

Why are people so obsessed with soap operas? I think it is because many of us conclude our own lives are pretty boring and the “soaps” somehow fill a void for us by making life a little more exciting. But life is not like a soap opera! Life consists of a many things and these include the exciting as well as the mundane. Listen to the words of King Solomon:

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...”

In other words, there is a set time for everything that happens to us during our lives as well as there being a specific period of time for each of them. Solomon describes many of these events in the words that follow: birth and death, weeping and laughing, mourning and dancing, loving and hating, war and peace.

None of these events, or others, always occur all the time — they each are given a set time. And none of them lasts forever — they have a period of duration that can sometimes be long or short, depending on the circumstances. Sometimes life is vibrant and exciting, but sometimes it can be plain boring! Can you relate to that? I most certainly can! This is the ebb and flow of life and it is grounded in reality, not some ridiculous soap opera.

I say this because many people manage their relationships as if they were living in a soap opera. We all love the romantic movie where the knight rides off into the sunset with his princess and they live happily ever after. We conclude that this is how marriage is ... but is it?

In our own marriages we discover that there are times of happiness but also conflict and in extreme cases, it seems to be only conflict. What happened to the romantic ending? For one thing, we don’t have the privilege of seeing how things worked out for the knight and the princess but I am pretty certain they will have had their tense moments as well. We have been duped into thinking that happiness in marriage is merely about finding this wonderful person and then everything will automatically flow from there — we have been “Hollywoodised” about love and marriage.

Every marriage, even the best ones, have their times and seasons: times of laughter and passion and yes, times of conflict and boredom. The solution is to try and make sense of these times. This is why Solomon also said, “God has made everything beautiful in its time...” It is God who brings meaning to every moment of our lives. We can only ultimately be completely fulfilled in Him, not through some soap opera or unrealistic view about love and relationships. And He is also able to bring meaning and fulfilment to our marriages.

A growing marriage begins its life when two people say I do to each other and to God.

Then they are truly free to grow into unselfish people who find meaning in the times and seasons of their relationship with each other and with God.

Would you sing this at church?

2009-02-27T16:45:00.002+09:00

A friend played this song to me this week and we were wondering whether you would be able to sing it at church as an item or not?

There is nothing wrong with it theologically, but it is pretty confronting...

what would you do?

White ManWords and music by Michael Gungor and Lisa Gungor

God is not a man
God is not a white man
God is not a man sitting on a cloud
God cannot be bought
God will not be boxed in
God will not be owned by religion

But God is love, God is love, and He loves everyone
God is love, God is love, and He loves everyone

God is not a man
God is not an old man
God does not belong to Republicans
God is not a flag
Not even American
And God does not depend on a government

But God is good, God is good, and He loves everyone
God is good, God is good, and He loves everyone

Atheists and Charlatans and Communists and Lesbians
And even old Pat Robertson, oh God He loves us all
Catholic or Protestant, Terrorist or President
Everybody, everybody, love, love, love, love, loveOh, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

Yeah, I say God is love, God is love, and He loves everyone
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Stop the hating, please just stop the hating now cause God is love
Oh, whoa, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

So? What do you think?

I just can't help myself!

2009-02-26T12:13:00.008+09:00

Holding onto daddy's finger

Her tiny feet in my palm

Do we look alike?

Overloaded with toys

3 mths old with 'The teddy'

Super cool hoodie chick

Oh! And I got a new tattoo!!

Can anyone guess what the numbers mean?

Psalm 100

2009-02-24T14:05:00.002+09:00

"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.

Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the Lord is God.

It is He who has made us, and we are his; we are his people,

the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise;

give thanks to Him and praise his name.

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;

his faithfulness continues through all generations."

Emery's Dedication

2009-02-24T13:48:00.002+09:00

On Sunday (22nd) we had Emery dedicated at church.

It is where Russ and I publicly vowed to raise Eme to know God and to give her every opportunity in her life to meet God and to 'hopefully' follow him also.

We had my dad do the dedication and I personally found it very emotional.

We picked Psalm 100 as our Scripture as we feel that it expresses the joy we have and the thankfulness we have to God for Eme's safe arrival, and for her in our lives.

v5 of Psalm 100 is:
"...his faithfulness continues through all generations."

Emery's (1st) middle name is Joy. My middle name is also Joy. We decided to carry the name through because of God's faithfulness.

My mum had 4 misscarriages, 3 before I was born. So when I finally came and mum & dad were finally starting the family they had been so desperate for, the gave me the name of Joy as thats how they felt!! Over-joyed!

When Emery was born I realised just how special she was. Mum probably thought that she was never going to be able to have kids, let alone Grandkids, and now, here, with Landon and Eme's birth, God was remaining faithful to her, and to me.

My parents have been blessed, and we have been blessed.

After dad prayed for her and was passing her back to Russ he said that we need to remember that Emery is a gift from God, on loan to the Ingrams, and that as stewards it is required that we be found faithful. This is what dad was told when mum & dad had me dedicated as a bub. (made me cry!)

Having a child is amazing. I can go on and on about the whole experience, and I guess thats why I haven't posted anything for a while...I don't want to bore you all with boring mummy, house-wifey details!!

But, I will indulge myself and update you on a few things.

I am still breastfeeding Eme and I find it one of the best things ever! It does get tiring and sometimes I wish I didn't have to do it, but I figure that she is only so little for such a short period, and in a few years or decades I will be missing having her so small that she fits in my arms. It is such a bonding experience and I love the fact that she watches me as I sing to her and smiles back mid-feed....except when she gets the milk everywhere!

And yes, she is smiling like crazy! She smiles back and even tries to talk. I swear I won't be able to get her to 'shutup' once she's older. She will be a talker, just like her dad.

She just turned 3mths old and is wearing 6mth old clothing. Sigh...

Today, she rolled over for the very first time! snif snif...my little baby is growing up! She went from her tummy to her back...she may have just over balanced herself, but I'm still holding it up as a small milestone!

I wish I could fully describe what its like to be a mum, but I can't. When people ask how its going, all I can say is "good". But that doesn't feel like it gives it enough credit. Motherhood makes me feel alive and I am just so thankful to God for this amazing miracle.

Thankyou for my little Eme-joy...she is the best thing that has ever happened to me (after Russ that is!!)

Emery - Who we named our daughter after

2009-02-15T15:53:00.001+09:00

This is the band we named Eme after.

Try last through the first 30secs (I know it will be hard for some of you!) as the rest of the song is pretty good.

This is a really old song of theirs, but I LOVE it none the less :)

Eme's 1st Christmas...& some news...though it may not be news cos I can't remember if I've posted about it or not!!

2009-01-16T14:52:00.006+09:00

Ok, so I know these are a little late, and I also realised that I just put these photos up out of order...but who cares?

These are just a couple of photos from Christmas Day. With new photos of Landon...the the poor boy is stuck in a Santa suit, and poor Eme has 'pant issues'.

Oh, and the big news is that my little Sister is PREGNANT!! She is due June 4th! And we are SOOOOO excited!

Another little playmate for Eme! I think she is having a girl, and I have already started collecting girl things. Maybe I should ask Sarah's "waters" what she thinks Kate is having!!

Anyway...sorry if that is old news, I really can't remember!

Eme with her Mummy

This has to be one of my favourite shots with her so far

Boxing day. It was a HOT day so Eme decided to wear a wet cloth

With Aunty Kate

Landon & Emery

Poor Landon had to suffer through wearing that suit and poor Eme had to suffer through her Mother pulling her shorts up to her armpits...just for a laugh

Uncle Russ with Landon the boofta

Dontchya reckon they look alike?

Next time it'll be arsenic

2009-01-16T10:57:00.002+09:00

Do you think it's wrong to put extra chilli in your husbands dinner bowl just because your really annoyed at him?

Tuesday night...Russell pee'd me off so I had a very loose wrist while adding extra chilli to his chilli con carn.

I even lied saying that there was the normal amount of chilli there usually is while he coughed and spluttered.

I did confess in the end...but still...I had a legitimate reason...he was peeing me off!

Ho hum

2009-01-12T16:28:00.003+09:00

Apologies in advance for this un-thought out post!

I've been missing my blogging. I just don't feel that I can find the time to really commit to writing a decent post. Plus I don't want to bore you with posts about babies and female-stuffs all the time.

Hmmmm what can I talk about that isn't baby-oriented?

Church? Neh....haven't been doing much with all the Christmas and New Years business that goes on.

I can't even think of any other topics....so here is a boring update post on us & babies and stuff like that! SORRY!!!

It will be 8 weeks tomorrow that Eme was born. It has absolutely flown by. Which makes me sad because it means my little girl has been getting bigger!!! (I'm terrible....I'm already crying about my baby girl growing up and leaving me and she isn't even 2mths old yet!!)

Having my own child now makes me appreciate all my mum & dad did for me. Especially mum. To think I was as small as Eme once and so dependent on my mum is weird to think about. Plus, my mum was younger than I currently am when she had me! I don't know where I would be without my mum at the moment. She has advice & help which I really appreciate.

I was talking to my sister about how people always feel they can comment and give advice on parenting to you. We agreed that it is so much easier to hear from our mum than it is from other people. I respect my parents and how they raised us 'kids'. Therefore, I am fine to go to them with questions and with hearing advice. However, if anyone else does this....then I get really pee'd off. I guess you establish such a strong relationship with your parents, that it's ok for them to make comments, and when other people do it - they haven't got the same relationship and therefore, I believe, they shouldn't be trying to make comment or give advice necessarily. Does this make sense? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Basically...if I want your advice, I will ask for it.......

Um, um, um...Eme has been sleeping through the night for nearly 2 weeks now! I'm so proud of her...she is a good girl and she really is a pretty no-fuss bub.

Only problem I'm having is that she tends to just want to be held non-stop. I can't put her down in her bouncer of let her lie on a mat thingy cos she just wants to sit on my hip and go around with me all day. It's nice to know she wants to be with me and go where I go, but please.....a little independance girly!!! I can't do EVERYTHING one handed, though I like to think that I could!!

So, I guess if anyone who reads this has had a similar issue and you managed to 'break' your child out of the habit, I'd like to know how!!!

(There....I'm asking for advice!!!!)

Anyway...I don't REALLY have anything important to talk about, so I'll leave it there. Hopefully I will find some time in the next couple of weeks and get back into blogging more regularly!

I honestly don't know how Jen does it with 5 kids!!! You must be wonderwoman!!!

Better fly....bub has awoken and is searching for a feed from her blanket...I better go grab her before she gets a furball....

Emery's Birth Story

2008-12-16T14:33:00.002+09:00

This was written 3 wks ago (it's just taken me a long time to finish off!)

I cannot believe that just over a week ago I gave birth to Emery.

In the last couple of weeks leading up to her birth I was anxious and worried that I wouldn’t be able to handle or endure the labor. I didn’t know if I was cut out for it. I was worried that I would panic and the whole experience would be a nightmare.

I prayed and prayed for weeks that God would fill me with a sense of peace, that I wouldn’t panic, and that the right people would be on staff the day of her birth. That he would prepare them in a way I guess.

The night before, we had dinner at my parents place and went to watch my dad’s Touch Footy team play (they lost by one try!!). On the way home dad drove past his normal turnoff and said that he was looking for some speed humps. He proceeded to drive through Thornlie Square (a shopping center) driving over speed humps to try and bring the baby on! He even bottomed out on one of the humps. When we got home he said,

“If that baby comes tomorrow it will be because of me!!”

The morning of the 18th was like any other day. I woke up wondering if today would be the day – though I was convinced the baby was never going to come. Russell had the day off work and decided to have “words” with the baby.

“If you would like to come today baby, today would be a good day!”

We then headed down to Kwinana Hub (another shopping center) – visited the library, got a couple of groceries and rented 2 movies out.

While we were walking around Woolworths I felt a little “tight” and had to walk slowly. It was tiring and I remember feeling a little achy in my back and tummy. I mentioned it to Russell and he just slowed down for me (he kept walking ahead a bit too quickly for me!)

I didn’t think anything of it. We got home, organized some lunch and then sat down to watch ‘21’. While I was making lunch, I still felt tight and achy and messaged 2 of my best friends that I felt a bit of ‘pain’ and that hopefully it meant something, just maybe, was going to happen! (Russell still had no idea at this point). We started watching the movie and the whole time, the pain got worse. It was bearable and I just sat through the movie and lived with it. I thought the baby had possibly moved into an awkward position and so that’s why I was in a little pain. At about 3pm I mentioned to Russ that I had been having pain for the last 3hrs and sat in one of our chairs that has a massage machine attached to it. It helped ease the pain in my back a little.

The pain just kept getting worse. At this stage, I had to start walking around. It brought the pain on quicker though and I was starting to feel a bit excited! We were meant to head up to Russ’ parents place to have dinner that night, and at about 4.30pm Russ called to say that we wouldn’t be able to make it. I didn’t think that I was in labor, but we thought it best to call the labor ward and see if we should come in for a checkup or not.

Of course they said to come in, but I was still in denial. Russ started running around packing things. I had packed my bag the week earlier and just needed a few toiletries. Russ kept asking what else we needed and I kept saying

“Nothing – they will just send us home anyway!!”

So, Russ just ignored me and packed absolutely everything! He knew the baby was coming.

We got to the hospital about 5.15pm and waited a while to be seen. In the end they had to grab a midwife who was out in the ward as they didn’t have enough staff on in the labor ward. Her name was Cindy and she sat me down on the bed and checked everything. She did an internal check and said that I was 3 centimeters dilated and that the baby was well and truly on its way. While I was in the room with her the pains were still getting worse and quicker. They were coming between 2 and 3 minutes and were lasting roughly 30 secs. That sounds so easy writing it like that, but it felt like an eternity.

Cindy said that because I was only 3cms I could go home for a few hours, labor at home and then come back in, or I could just hang around in the room. Because we live half an hr away from the hospital, I would probably get home, then have to turn around and come back, so we stayed. Cindy noticed however that the contractions were getting worse and happening quicker and thought it wise we stay at the hospital.

At week 36 of the pregnancy they check you for a bacteria called ‘Group B Strep’. It’s a bacteria that you can carry around in your gut, and when pregnant, can transfer…..down….wards….and pass to the baby during birth. Because of this, I had to have antibiotics via a drip. I was also seriously dehydrated and needed some topping up. I had to have the antibiotics inserted every 4 hours, but ended up only having them once because she came so quickly!

The doctor came in to set up the drip and I was happy to see that it was the doctor I had been hoping would be around on the day. In the public system you get whoever is on call that week and I had been in prayer for 4/5mths that God would have the right people on staff when our baby would come along. I felt so relaxed when he came to insert the drip! I told him that I didn’t like needles and didn’t want to have the drip put in, so he gave me a local and then inserted the drip. I’m a big wuss with needles and I think the doctor was probably thinking “you’re in labor you silly woman…the drip is the least of your worries!” But he complied anyway :)

So, once the antibiotics were in, the midwife noticed that my contractions were starting to happen quicker and were getting quite strong so she started asking what I had planned to happen during labor. Whether I was wanting to have an epidural or go completely natural. I said I wasn’t too sure, but that I didn’t really want to have an epidural, but with every contraction I was starting to reconsider that thought! She suggested that we start off small, so she started to fill a bath for me. She said, if that didn’t feel like it did much then we could go for some gas, and so on and so on.
She said being only 3cms at 6pm, it probably wouldn’t be until after 12am that I would be ready to start pushing. I kept looking at the time and trying to count down the hours. I just wanted to keep thinking about how I wouldn’t remember anything and that I would be holding our precious baby the next day.

I was a little disappointed because I had been hoping the baby would be born on the 18th as it was my Great-Grandfathers 100th birthday. It would’ve been nice to share that day with the birth of our child.

Around 7pm I got into the bath. At this stage I still had my dress on and I just pulled it up to just under my arms. After the midwife left the room I stripped and Russ just sat close by continually saying that I was “doing a good job”. I wasn’t really in a talkative mood and just wanted to sit in the bath and keep my eyes closed. At first I didn’t want to get too wet (no idea why) and I just sat there, but as the contractions continually got stronger I started flapping around that bath like “Free Willy”. I had my head under the water and just floated around until a contraction started and I would splash around like a whale. I didn’t realize I was doing it until the next day when Russell mentioned it! I told the midwife, when she came to see how I was going, that I “need something more! The water isn’t enough!” so she went and grabbed the gas for me. It’s a tube with a little area at the end of the tube where you can just breathe like normal and breathe in the gas. The gas takes a few seconds to start having any effect. I was sucking on the thing like it was going out of fashion. When a contraction would start I would fling my hand out and Russ would put it in my hand and I would ‘suck’ through a contraction. When I was done I would hold it up for Russ to take back, he did a very good job :)

I remember at one stage holding out my hand to hold Russ’ hand while sucking on the gas with my other hand. I squeezed so hard that I heard EVERY knuckle in his hand crack! I swear I have never squeezed that hard in my life. It’s like you get an extra bit of strength during labor.

I’m just going to quickly insert here what the contractions felt like. No-one ever tries to explain what it feels like, and I can understand why, there are not really any words to describe it, but I’ll try! For me, it was like a huge amount of pressure in my lower abdomen. As though there were a tonne of bricks sitting on my pelvis and the pressure would start of small and then get worse and then calm down again. Like a wave of pain. However I think I got so high on the gas that it is hard to remember exactly what the pain was like. All I can remember is thinking “I’m never doing this again. This is it. Our only child!” But then the next day I forgot all about it, fell in love with Emery and said “It wasn’t that bad, I can do it again!”

I ended up being in the bath for 2hrs. Before I got in Cindy had checked my fluids and said that I was dehydrated and that I needed to keep drinking water. It was really hard though to hold the cup of water because I was sucking the gas so much it made my hands feel like little stumps. They were all pins and needle-y and I couldn’t hold onto the cup or the gas pump properly, so Russ ended up having to stick a straw in my mouth and hold the cup for me while I drifted away on another planet.

Apparently while I was in the bath Cindy came in to check on me and started talking about having to put a drip in to re-hydrate me. I have absolutely no recollection of this. I was so high and ‘in the zone’ that I didn’t notice her talking to me or putting the drip in.

I remember starting to say to Russ that I couldn’t do this, that I didn’t want to do it anymore, and that I needed something more than this gas thing! He said the next day that I kept saying this when he was just in the room, but whenever the midwife came in I was completely calm and just soaking in the bath! At 9pm Cindy came in and decided to check how far along I was and she was shocked to see that I was fully dilated. I remember her getting my attention and saying

“Rebekah, you are fully dilated (she had a big smile on her face), this baby is ready to come. Now, Rebekah, you cannot have this baby in the bath, you need to get out.”

I remember thinking to myself

“As soon as she turns around, I’m just going to push really hard and she can’t stop me from having this baby in the bath!!”

I kept saying “Just one more minute, just one more”

Russ decided he needed to take control of the situation and he grabbed both my arms and just yanked me out of the water! I sat on the edge of the bath as I started to have another contraction. I felt all woozy and couldn’t hold myself up properly. One of the student midwives who I agreed could watch the birth gave me a towel to dry myself. All I did was swing it onto my shoulders like a cape and proceeded to walk around the ward like some sort of super-hero. I walked into someone else’s room and I remember Russ having to direct me. I couldn’t walk straight and had to have help to get myself into my own room.

After getting into the room, this is when the ‘yucky’ pain started. I didn’t mind the contractions too much, it was the pushing pain that I hated. It’s just this unbearable feeling of having to push…you can’t control it! I hated it!

After a while Cindy decided to break my waters as they hadn’t broken on their own. Then, after that she said that the baby was stuck and that I needed to try different positions to try and move her along. She got me to sit on a stool/chair thing and she tried to get me to stand up or lean over some pillows. I look back at it and find it really undignified, but at the time, I couldn’t care less and just wanted the baby out.

Cindy kept saying,

“The baby’s nearly here, it’s nearly here…push push push”

And I kept saying

“How many minutes away exactly. How many more minutes?”

I needed a time frame.

The ended up having to sit me on the toilet to try and see if that helped move the baby down a bit, and it worked! So off I went and they sat me up in the bed. I didn’t want to lie down so I got to be sitting up which felt a little more comfortable.

Cindy kept saying

“There’s the head! Can you see the head?”

I couldn’t see what the heck she was talking about. I didn’t believe her. She got Russ to stand on one side and help support my leg and she stood on the other side. They BOTH kept saying they could see the head, and I remember Cindy saying that the baby had it’s Daddy’s hair (None of us knew the sex of bub either and the midwife was looking forward to finding out).

One of the midwives went and got a free standing mirror so that I could see this head they kept talking about. After every push you would see the head, and then it would go back up! It was so depressing! But it eventually started to stay and slowly after a few more contractions and pushes her head popped out. And so did her arm! It was amazing. There was this head and her little hand was clinging onto Cindy’s finger. Then after the next contraction the rest of her slithered out and Cindy held her up and said

“What is it!?!”

And I said

“A girl!!!!!”

Russ was shocked as he was convinced the whole time that it was a boy. But you couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

She was laid down on my tummy and she had a pathetic little cry. I will never forget just looking at her and being amazed. I couldn’t believe that it was all over! It was the biggest feeling of relief that I had ever felt. And it took away every single memory of pain that I had felt in the last 10.5 hrs. It was amazing. I think that was one good thing about birth. It is so amazing and terrific that you just completely forget about the torture you’ve just been through the instant you meet your little one.

Of course it doesn’t end there. You still need to deliver the placenta – which is the most feral thing ever – and the check to see if stitches are needed. A midwife stuck a needle in my thigh (helps bring the placenta out quicker) and I remember turning around sharply, giving her ‘the look’ and saying

“OW….that hurt!”

I don’t think she really cared too much….would’ve been nice for a little fore warning though!

Cindy asked if Russ wanted to cut the cord – I said he did J - so he did. He took some photos and they tried to get Emery to have a feed (which hurt like hell the first time). After that they took her off me and went to check everything and make sure she was ok. I remember looking over and thinking she looked enormous! That she couldn’t have possibly fit inside me! The midwives were all trying to guess her weight…she was 3.880kg (8lb 8.5oz)

I was shocked. I always thought I would have little petite babies. Not jolly big boofheads!

Russ called all the family to let them know she had arrived and I had to get stitched up. I remember thinking after she was born

“Woo hoo…I don’t need stitches!”

But, I was wrong. I had 2nd degree tearing and they called the doctor to come in and stitch me up. He was supposed to be there for the birth, but Emery came so quickly that he didn’t get a chance to be there.

As he was stitching me up (I got to suck on the gas again!) he was saying that when he received the call at 10.30pm to say it had happened, he thought they were calling to say that I was ready for the epidural. He was shocked that she had come that night.

After being stitched up and checked out I got to go have a shower, which was really nice. It was hard to stand up but the warm water helped to relax me.

Around 1am I got taken to my room in the ward and I got to take Eme with me. They set me up in my room and Russ stayed for a little while. Around 1.30am he headed off to stay at a friends place down the road from the hospital and I was left to my own devices with Eme.

I was a little panicked as I wasn’t sure what to do. How would I know if she needed a nappy change or a feed? But a midwife came to check on us every couple of hours which was nice to know.

I remember I didn’t sleep one bit that night. I just stared at Eme the entire time and she stared back at me. She didn’t make a noise but she was awake!

I couldn’t believe that it was all over. That I had survived labor and that I now had a daughter. It still doesn’t feel real now. I cannot believe that I have been blessed with this privilege. It is one of the most amazing experiences of my life and I never want to forget it. I will never forget the first moments with her, and that first night with her. It was instant love.

When I look back, I’m very proud of myself. I did it. I survived! It didn’t kill me! And funnily enough, I’m sure I’ll go back and do it again and again and again!

The reward is well worth it. The best thing is that it has increased my love for Russell and developed an even deeper relationship with the two of us. We are now a little family and I am so grateful to God for all he has done for us.

He kept me calm and at peace, the right staff were on, and we were blessed with a healthy happy little boofhead.

My recommendation to all is to go for it! You won’t regret having your kids!

Techo help

2008-12-06T11:36:00.002+09:00

Does anyone know how to setup a link to the photos you have up on Facebook? I can't be bothered putting photos up here and also on Facebook, so if anyone knows what they're doing, could you pass some wise pearls this way please??

Thanks dudes!!

Here's Bek!!

2008-12-05T08:55:00.003+09:00

Well, I have some news...we have the net at home!

WOO HOO!!!

I have really missed blogging, and hopefully I will now be able to update a lot more regularly (when Eme gives me some time off anyway! - I swear it's like she is attached to the boob more often than not!)

I have started writing my birth story but I think its going to take longer than I initially thought. I remember absolutely EVERY MOMENT. It's hard to try and get it all in and to get it to all make sense!

Things at home have been great. Russ has had the last 2.5 wks off work and I am dreading him going back on Monday. It is so nice to have him around home and helping out! He has grown his beard back and stretched his ears to the next size. He has plugs (for those who don't know) and they are finally looking like a decent size!! The bigger the better I say...and yes size does matter ;)

Eme is absolutely beautiful. She has been holding her head up since 2wks and never wants to put it down. The midwife said she only ever sees this in 6-8wk olds. I tell you this girl is impatient like her mum. She will be running before she is crawling! She is getting bigger every day and I sometimes cry because I don't ever want to forget how small she is. Its silly I know, but I just love her tiny fingers and tiny toes, the way she fits with me. When I'm feeding or cuddling she is just the perfect size to fit in around my waist. I am completely and utterly in love. The odd thing though is that I miss being pregnant!?!

I've 'recovered' pretty well from the labor. I had it pretty easy I think, even though she was a boofheaded baby that NO-ONE expected to be that big! But I'll save all the juicy details for my birth post :) Betchya looking forward to that boys!! ;)

Anyway...I have so many things I want to check, like what's been happening in the worlds of my blogging buddies...so I'll leave it there for now, but from now on you will see a little more of me (hopefully!!)

Emery Joy Kade Ingram

2008-11-24T12:26:00.003+09:00

Born 18th November at 10.30pm

We are so blessed by God for this little boofhead

Bub-o-luv has arrived!!!

2008-10-12T16:37:00.001+08:00

Hahahahaha.....nah.....unfortunately

I finished up at work last week and have started my maternity leave. Not only am I offline, I am bored.

The house was impeccably clean by Tues, and now I have nothing to do but eat. So I don't think I'll post any more belly shots....as I am sure I will have put on about 10k's this week alone!!!

Anyway....thought I'd have a little fun with you all and try and trick you into thinking the baby had arrived....but I'm sure you're all smarter than that!!

Anyway...not sure when I'll get a chance to post again, or check other blogs, but hopefully it won't be too long!

Alrighty...adios!!

Landon James Sean born 1/10/08

2008-10-03T09:49:00.016+08:00

Robbo & his son

Landon's birthcard and teddy. This teddy was Robbo's when he was born!

Aunty Bek

Uncle Russ

Aunty Kate

Uncle Jos

Bub-o-luv & Landon

(I had to get one of the cousins)

The new little family

I'm an Aunty!!!

2008-10-02T09:42:00.003+08:00

Landon James Sean Furlong has arrived!!

8lb 7oz ...

the "little" man arrived roughly 8 days early (I believe - I'm not too good at counting) and is all good and well!

I am a very proud Aunty to my first nephew and will be heading up to see him this evening.

I most certainly will be posting pics up tomorrow!!!

Quote of the day

2008-10-01T15:30:00.001+08:00

"We are more inclined to hate one another for points on which we differ, than to love one another for points on which we agree."

- Charles Caleb Colton

Updated tummy pics

2008-09-30T11:26:00.004+08:00

33.1 wks!

What a difference 6 weeks makes!! And to think I still have another 7 to go!!

Baby Room pics

2008-09-30T11:19:00.008+08:00

What we spent our long weekend doing

Russ trying to put the cot together

A tad confused - I think he was thinking "instead of taking millions of shots, how bout you come over here and help me!!!!"

Yay! It's done! The cot and little Noah's Ark toychest

Chest of drawers and change table with the cot.

It's all starting to slowly come together!!

A few randoms

2008-09-30T10:50:00.007+08:00

A couple of my favourite jumpsuits that have been given to us as gifts

This one is from Dodgy Pete & Bec (plus a few other girls from our old church)
I LOVE it

The back....very appropriate for any child of mine!

A nice view from Jet.

Jet the dero

The cake I made for Father's Day - that Russ was too sick to eat!

2008-09-30T10:47:00.002+08:00

This was the 'creamy cake' that I made for both dads and for my man who is soon to be a dad!

Parties Galore

2008-09-30T10:27:00.012+08:00

Here are some pics from the weekend and also from Jos' 21st party a couple weekends ago!

Russ in his 'Juno' getup

His sexy short shorts - it was quite funny, he sat with his legs together the entire night!

Me as 'Juno' - trying to pull an unimpressed face!

We got a runners up prize for best couple - apparently because our costume was 9mths in the making!

The b'day girls with their mum.

Very left is Claire (minnie mouse) and the very right is her twin Amanda (lady bug from 'A bugs life')

Two good friends. They went to school with Russ and we still get to catch up with them on a regular basis.

Sarah and Evan...aka Belle & Beast

Dorothy became a werewolf!!

Cocktail attire for Jos' par-tay

Very rare to see Russ in a tie

The cocktail bar - and no mum wasn't making an order.

They had 400 balloons hanging in their ceiling in the kitchen! It was very cool!

What happens when dad gets bored at a 21st

He then adds hair, shoes and I don't know if it's pubic hair or a loin cloth!

Stop Choking - Aussie Style

2008-09-26T08:29:00.000+08:00

A woman sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough.

After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look at her.

Ken ya swaller? asked Bluey

The woman signalled 'No!', desperately shaking her head.

Kin ya breathe?' asked Bazza.

The woman shook her head No!!!

With that, Bluey walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her arse.

This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.

Bluey swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.

Bazza said in admiration 'Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it.'

Bill to allow dumped baby 'safe havens'

2008-09-25T09:28:00.002+08:00

Neglectful parents would be allowed to abandon their unwanted babies at designated "safe havens" - no questions asked - under laws proposed by a Rudd government backbencher.

Tasmanian senator Helen Polley has written to federal and state attorneys-general to press for the laws, and is expecting a response soon.

Under the laws, parents could leave their babies at a haven - such as a police station or community centre - without having to give information about themselves or the baby. These parents could not be charged with criminal abandonment.

Approximately 10 babies are abandoned by their parents in Australia every year, and Senator Polley said it was time to do something about it.

Read the full article

Now, I don't know how I completely feel about this.

While I can see where Senator Polley is coming from, it still doesn't sit quite right with me.

Has anyone seen the show 'Find my Family'? I think I cry every time I watch it! There was one particular story that struck me the most. A young girl about 16 was pregnant and gave up her son for adoption at the hospital. I got the impression that it was forced upon her and she didn't want to do it. She talked about how while she was in the hospital she just cuddled and kissed and spent as much time as possible with him. I was a babbling mess watching that episode! I know it's a different situation, but it still plays a part. I'm sure any mother that gives up her child, adoption or 'dumping, will think about that child for the next few decades to come! How could you not?

Even if these babies were saved through the 'safe havens' - they may physically be ok, but what about the irrepairable damage of being 'dumped'.
But I also get the point of wanting to save babies being dumped in bins and left to die.

So, what are your thoughts?

2008-09-24T15:12:00.001+08:00

*ugh*

bub-o-luv has the hiccups again

starting to drive me nutso again

Fridays Costumes

2008-09-24T14:29:00.005+08:00

Yesterday I had an RDO and wasn't able to check my blog for any costume suggestions. It was also yesterday that I realised that the party was Fri. night and yesterday was my only day to do some shopping for a costume.

So, I've had to go with the 'Juno' idea *sigh*

While I absolutely LOVED Jen's idea of Pacha and his pregnant wife from The Emperor's New Groove (I love that movie) we can't afford to hire costumes, so I've had to go el-cheapo and grab some op-shop stuff.

For me, I already have a black jacket, jeans and shoes. I managed to grab a skirt from an op-shop that looks almost identical to the skirt on the dvd...the only shirt I could find that is even remotely close to that one is a yellow and grey striped shirt....close enough in my books!! Since I don't need much makeup and hair done, I'm all set.

Russ' costume is the fun part of this duo though! He already has the sneakers and knee-high socks we just needed a top, shorts and sweatbands. I managed to find an old school marone jacket with yellow stipes on the sleeves and around the neckline, and after searching in about 10 different op-shops, I managed to find 1 pair of bright yellow boardshorts (chick ones of course!) I will need to cut them to a shorter length and sew the edge (so it doesn't frey) and he will be all set. He will just pick up some sweat bands from Target/Kmart tomorrow....and he's all set!!

I can't wait to see him in the short shorts....and don't worry, I will definately get photos of that!!

The baby shower that wasn't supposed to shower!

2008-09-22T09:58:00.001+08:00

We had our baby shower/bbq yesterday and it went better than I expected!

I was really stressed on Friday about having to change locations and change the style of the party, but it still went ok.

Sarah is going to kill me, but I actually didn’t get any photos! I just didn’t have time! There were so many people to talk to that I didn’t even get around to 2 of the tables! I felt soooooo bad. The one thing I hate is inviting people to a party and then not getting to spend time with them!

I would make my way over to chat to people and then get called away by someone else. So I don’t think I actually got to finish any conversations with anyone, I was constantly interrupted!

We still had the bbq (the sun came out!!!) and we just had a couple of tables and chairs set out and people just sat around and ate.

We played a game where people had to measure out some string to the size they thought my belly was….it was funny to see some people’s perceptions! My mum was adamant she would get it perfect and she was about 1cm off. 2 other people beat her and she was quite upset actually…she wanted a re-size :)

We also handed out cards for people to fill in and guess the size, eye colour, weight, date it would arrive, etc. They also got to pick what the name would be. This was quite fun to read through last night and look at all the answers.

Some names we got were Gertrude, Calin (from Middo) and a few other randoms!

I will have to post a few I think, they were great! Including the guess from our pastor who thought the baby would come Oct 7th – he thought we were due Oct instead of Nov!!

Most people guessed we would come early and the baby would be between 5 and 6lb. Please God!

Anyway…it was a fantastic arvo and we were amazingly blessed by people’s company and to see the support that we have in friends. A few people didn’t come who said they were coming, and you can’t help but be disappointed, but I didn’t let it ruin the arvo.

A massive thankyou has to go to my two best buddies, Jodie & Fi who organised the day and help set everything up. They both did an amazing job, and things happened without me having to worry about them! Things just magically came out on the food table, and things were tidied up and cleaned before I got a chance to have a look around at what needed doing! They blessed us with so much. Their time, energy, money and gifts. I am so thankful to God for these 2 women who have looked after me for many years and who I hope will be close friends for many more to come!

Thanks to everyone who came, it was awesome to see you all! Hopefully we will get to see you again before the baby comes…whenever that may be!!

I need your help

2008-09-22T09:00:00.002+08:00

We have been invited to a costume party this Friday night.

The theme is movie characters....now being pregnant I am finding myself a little limited.

The only suggestion I've been given is 'Juno'.

I'm putting it out to you all in the blogging community to give me some ideas!! I need some real brainwaves here people!! Give me your ideas and thoughts and I will pick the best one!

I will definately take photos and if you can possibly think of a couple that would be great...Russ needs to wear something too you know!!

I will post about the baby shower soon :)

I have to be honest

2008-09-19T13:40:00.004+08:00

I don't think the baby in that baby ticker countdown (in the sidebar) thing is very cute.

It looks a little scary to me....I hope ours is a little better looking!

More than a little stressed

2008-09-19T13:40:00.002+08:00

Our baby shower is happening this weekend. Or so I hope!

We had planned a picnic at a local park and were going to setup some cricket, footy and bocce. However the forecast for Sunday keeps changing! One minute it's going to be fine, the next they reckon raining all day!

We had to make a call and decided to relocate the party to the back hall at my dad's church. Thing is, it kinda ruins the whole idea of what we were wanting. We wanted to have the party at a park because it is kid friendly, people can laze around and just relax. But now, we are going to have to be crammed into a hall with nothing to do!

I can feel the stress levels rising already.

Now I'm having people saying they won't come because we've relocated it! But we've only moved it 10mins down the road!!!! It's still the same time and everything, but it's now just 10mins closer/further than the park!!! I don't get it. Just makes me feel like people are looking for an excuse not to come, and I'm really disappointed that it's kinda all going to crap. We are going to lose the whole feel of what we were wanting and now it just feels like it's just going to turn into another boring party with nothing to do. Which is exactly what we didn't want. We wanted to be able to lazely walk around to people's picnic rugs and chat and catch up and spend time with the kids coming and to play a little sport...now it's all going to be crap...I can feel it.

And now, looking outside the freakin sun is coming out! AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Fathers needed more than ever

2008-09-18T09:05:00.001+08:00

By Rob Furlong
Challenge Newspaper Sept 2008

When you think of world champion sprinters, it is fairly safe to say that your mind will not automatically go to Derek Redmond. You are far more likely to think of Carl Lewis or Asafa Powell or Usain Bolt… but not Derek Redmond. And yet, Derek Redmond has a very special place in history. Born in England in 1965, by the time he was 19, Derek had broken the British record for the 400 metres and during his career he won gold medals in the 4x400 metres relay at the World Championships, European Championships and at the Commonwealth Games. A favourite for the 400 metres at the Seoul Olympics of 1988 he was forced to withdraw from the opening heat a mere 10 minutes before the race due to an injury to his Achilles tendon. In the ensuing years leading up to the 1992 Olympics he underwent 8 operations and along the way stunned the world at the 1991 World Championships when he and his teammates won gold in the 4x400 metres relay by beating the heavily favoured United States team.

And so we come to Barcelona, Spain and the 1992 Olympics. Redmond is again favourite for the 400 metres and his form in the early rounds is ominously good, running the fastest time in the first round and winning his quarter-final. 65,000 people in the stadium on the day of the 400 metres semi-final watch Redmond race around the track in an effort to seize the lead and secure a place in the final. But as he heads into the back straight, 250 metres from the finish, Redmond is once again let down by his body. As he later describes it, as he entered the straight, he heard a “pop” and thought for one moment that he had been shot. As his leg gave way beneath him, he realized that he had torn his hamstring and that his Olympic dream of a medal was now over. He collapsed onto the track and the medical team rushed over to stretcher him off. It was at this moment that Derek decided that no matter what, he would finish the race, no matter how long it took. The crowd is stunned by his bravery and once they understand the significance of what he is doing, they rose to their feet and cheered him to the finish line with an incredible roar. Redmond later said:

“I wasn’t doing it for the crowd, I was doing it for me… I wanted to finish the race.”

What Derek didn’t realize was that his father, Jim, who had been watching his son in the grandstand had raced down from his seat and then pushed, argued and shoved his way through security and officials to join his son on the track. Drawing alongside his son, 120 metres from the finish line, he placed his arm around his waist and said, “I’m here son, we’ll finish together.” And so Derek and his Dad, arms around each other finish the race with 65,000 people wildly urging them on! At he press conference later that day, Jim Redmond told the world: “I’m the proudest father alive… I’m prouder of him than if he had won the gold medal. It took a lot of guts to do what he did.”

I would add that it also took a lot of guts for Jim Redmond to do what he did — in front of a watching world he unashamedly ran to his son’s side and crossed the finish line with him. It was a demonstration of the heart and love of a father for his child at it’s best. On the day when his dreams literally crashed to the ground, Derek Redmond experienced the love and support of his Dad in a new way.

Dads, despite what our world says, you are needed more than ever. No matter how old or young your kids are, they still need your love, encouragement, support, example and advice. Be there for them! Inject yourself into their lives in meaningful ways. It’s never too late to start. The world may never hear of your love like it did Jim and Derek Redmond’s, but that matters little because the people who need it the most, your family, will and they will thank you for it!

Have a wonderful Father’s Day!!

Haven't heard that one before!!

2008-09-17T13:13:00.000+08:00

As I bought my fruit salad at lunch today, the old guy dishing it up for me said

"Oo that's a yummy tummy!"

Then, as I paid for it and headed off he said

"Good job mummy!"

I assume he meant good job for having fruit salad.

What I neglected to tell him was that it was to wash down the left over pizza I had for lunch!!

Class Overview #2

2008-09-17T08:43:00.001+08:00

Last night we had our 2nd antenatal class.

Well, if I thought I was going to pass out last week, then this was definately the week to do it!!

The midwife went through just about absolutely every possibility of what can happen during labour. She also got us to pick out what our ideal labour would be. I was the only one in the class who had picked 'no pain killers'...they all probably think I am a little deluded, but I am trying to keep an open mind.

I am also in love with the midwife. I hope she is there when I give birth. She speaks with such passion and amazement even after 20+ years! You can see she obviously loves bringing little ones into the world and she is still amazed by the whole process. She also sounds like she will stick up for you if the doctor starts getting impatient and wanting to start 'cutting things'.

She had the best storey that had my laughing for hours. She was a student nurse and was asked to check if the lady had fully dilated. She checked and said "Yep, she's fully dilated". She also checked to see how far away the head was, she felt around and felt something 'squeegy'. She didn't think much of it at the time as she said some heads feel a little 'squeegy'. She turned around and then next thing you know a leg had popped out!! The poor baby was in a breach position and what she had been feeling was the baby's scrotum!!

I honestly just about pee'd myself laughing. It's the best story I've heard in a long time!

I am actually enjoying the classes and I left last night a little excited. Not excited over the impending pain, but the fact that we will finally at long last be holding this little one! It will all be worth it in the end. That's what I just need to keep reminding myself!!

Next week we have a Physio coming along to help teach us different techniques for dealing with the pain. Should be a little interesting I think...I have a feeling this may be the 'vaseline week'.

What men really mean...

2008-09-16T15:16:00.002+08:00

Bec sent me this email today and I thought I would post the one that fits Russell perfectly:

'I CAN'T FIND IT.'

Means: 'It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.'

*sigh*

Any other guys out there like this?

Useless info

2008-09-16T10:35:00.001+08:00

Bub-o-luv has had the hiccups the past couple of days. Poor thing, I can feel it's whole body shaking. I hate the hiccups with a passion.

Quote of the day

2008-09-15T15:15:00.001+08:00

"The most pleasant and useful persons are those who leave some of the problems of the universe for God to worry about."

- Don Marquis

Nesting

2008-09-15T11:47:00.001+08:00

I think I have started ‘nesting’. All of a sudden I am more organised than I have ever been in my life!

Since our little one is due only 6 days before Russell’s birthday, I have started putting aside a little money every fortnight to get his presents. I don’t want his birthday to come along and not have anything for him. I want him to have a special day. He is a little worried that he will always be forgotten now that the baby is due so close to his b’day. Not that he minds, but I do want to make sure I always make the effort for him and make sure he has a special day.

We still haven’t organised the nursery. All we have is a pram and 12 re-useable cloth nappies. If this baby came now it would be sleeping in the pram and would have maybe 2 singlets to alternate between. I saw my brother on Saturday and he was saying they have started tidying up around the house and getting the nursery finished off. They are due in 4 weeks and thought if the little man came early they would be screwed. It got me thinking, we have so much to organise! I don’t know where to start!

I don’t know anything about babies and have no idea what we should at least have in the nursery!

What do I use to bathe the kid? Normal soap? Surely not!
What do I use to wipe it’s bum with? What brand is good?
Do I need to put cream on it’s bum after every nappy change?
Do I need to bathe it everyday?
Do they always have to have socks on their feet?
Should they be wearing a singlet under all their clothing, all the time?
Is there something I should be doing around feeding times?

There are so many more questions, but I just don’t know where to start!

Any mums out there have any advice? I have no clue as to what I’m getting into and need to at least know some basics!!

On a side note, we are having our baby shower this weekend! (pray for sunshine)

We decided that since we are both becoming parents that we should have a party for both of us. Usually baby showers are for chicks. You play silly games and then have some arvo tea. We decided that we wanted to be able to celebrate our little ones arrival and have close friends and family around for a bbq. We are going to a local park and having a bbq with cricket and footy set-up….and I believe a bocce playoff!

Hopefully it will be a pleasant afternoon and we will be able to catch-up with a lot of friends and family that we have trouble getting to spend time with all the time (if that makes sense). There are just too many people that we love and very little time in a week to spend time with each of those people. Hopefully having them all in the one spot we will get to catch-up with them all and just have relaxing time.

On another side note, I know this is the bane of Sarah’s life, but RSVP’s. Why does no-one do it anymore?? Russ and I are providing salads, drinks and nibblies, and it is so hard to know how much to buy because no-one ever RSVP’s anymore! We will just have to buy enough for everyone on the invite list, but we don’t have much money and it is a pain to have 100 cans of coke left over in your fridge!

Anyway…if you read this blog and I have given you an invite, please RSVP!!!! I want to know that at least someone is coming along! We don’t want to be 2 loners in a park with 200 cans of coke!

Quote of the day

2008-09-12T16:35:00.001+08:00

"It seems ironical that it takes a war or other crises to bring the peoples' Earth together."

- P.K. Shaw