Soft like melting ice-cream

I think I may be getting soft in my 'old age'.

What used to irk me and get me all fired up no longer bothers me - as much anyway!

When I was 20/21 I would go to church and get so angry about...well...just about everything! Too many old songs, too many slow songs, boring unchallenging sermon, stale communion bread, etc etc...
But, as I have aged and hopefully 'matured' in my faith, some of these things no longer bother me. What does it matter how many old songs there are? As long as they are relevant and I understand what they are saying! I guess I still have the same issues, but they are no longer causing such a fire in my belly. I don't feel the need to jump down peoples throats or complain endlessly to Russell.

Ive been praying and looking for more opportunities for God to grow me spiritually. And while it hasn't felt too drastic, I have definately felt God's peace and reassurance settle within me.

I'm starting to be able to sit through a service and just worship or enjoy fellowship. I'm not saying things don't bother me anymore - because some things still do. There are still things which I think are important and play a part in each church, but for the majority I'm finding myself more and more happy. Which is definately a nice change.

Maybe it's thanks to my amazing small group - love you guys xxx
Maybe it's thanks to a couple who are mentoring Russ and I and who are so supportive in prayer and fellowship
Maybe it's just old age...I am nearing my 30s after all!

Cobwebs of Procrastination

We have been living in our first (mortgage) home now for 3yrs and 8mths. And for around 3yrs and 6mths I have been thinking “I really need to clean these windows”. Only just this morning did I get around to doing them! While I was wiping the cobwebs away and rubbing away at some of the marks it got me thinking about different things in life we put off.

An argument with a friend that you never got around to resolving.

A letter of encouragement you meant to write and send but never did.

A simple “I love you” to a sister who rarely hears those words from your lips.

I tend to put things off a lot. There have been friendships that have gone by the way side simply because I haven’t taken the time, built up the courage or put aside my pride, to resolve any of the issues. There are cobwebs in my life that tend to continue to build up on each other. Yet, I always manage to find an excuse as to why I don’t ‘have the time’ or the courage to sort things out.

Maybe it’s not relationships that you need to work on, but it is money matters, or words of encouragement that need to be spoken. Whatever it is you’re putting off – put a stop to it! Stop the excuses and get on with it! I’m speaking to myself just as much here!

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” Matt 5:23+24 (v25+26 are also good)

It is surprising to me that within the Christian community there seems to be so many broken relationships. Is this simply because we are human and it is ‘human nature’ to not get along with everyone? Or is it something more? Look at David. He was being hunted down by King Saul who was attempting to kill him and yet when he hears of Saul’s death he mourns (2 Sam 1:11).

I’m getting a little side-tracked here :)

I could go down a whole other path here, but I will end it with this question:

What are you putting off till 'tomorrow' what needs to be done today?

What's Your Giant?

I was reading a book last night that my Dad had given me for my birthday, called 'Facing Your Giants' by Max Lucado.
I was reading through and there was a section that had me in tears:

"What caused God to pick him? We want to know. We really want to know.
After all, we've walked David's pasture, the pasture of exclusion. We are weary of society's surface-level system, of being graded according to the inches of our waist, the square footage of our house, the colour of our skin, the make of our car, the label of our clothes, the size of our office, the presence of diplomas, the absence of pimples. Don't we weary of such games?
Hard work ignored. Devotion unrewarded. The boss chooses cleavage over character. The teacher picks pet students instead of prepared ones. Parents show off their favourite sons and leave their runts out in the field. Oh, the Goliath of exclusion.
Are you sick of him? Then it's time to quit staring at him. Who cares what he, or they, think? What matters is what your Maker thinks. "The Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1Sam 16:17)"

What/Who is your Goliath? Why do you care what he, or they think? Is it easy to just ignore them and no longer care what they think?

Is it true?

One of my units that I took this semester was called Sociocultural Perspectives on health. And yes, it is a bit of a mouthfull!

It's called a bit of a 'nothing' unit as it is basically just common sense. As a nurse/health professional we are going to come into contact with people of other cultures, and we need to have a bit of an understanding that all cultures have different views on health.

For one of the assignments we had to choose a country or developing nation and look into how social determinants have affected that people groups health. I had too many ideas running around my head, and in the end I went for the easy option (or so I thought) of the Australian Aboriginal/Indigenous population of our country.

Now, I'm not going to bore you with what I wrote and all the facts and info, but one of the things I came across was the 'Stolen Generation'. And I have found that whenever this topic is brought up, it brings about fierce debate. Especially amongst Chrisitans!! One of the most interesting viewpoints I have come across is that it didn't happen and it's all lies!

I thought I might bring this up on my blog just to see what other people's thoughts are on the matter, as it seems to be quite an interesting and endless topic of discussion!

Before doing any research on the subject, I was a bit of a fence-sitter. I was probably more-so on the side of intolerance however. I believed that it happened, but from there on I didn't really (and still don't really) have a set or concrete view on it.

One of the advised or recommended extra research tools for the subject was to watch Rabbit Proof Fence - after watching it I'm not sure what it has to do with health, but it was interesting none the less. The most standout scene for me was watching the 3 girls removed from their family. Whether this is an accurate representation or not, to watch this as a parent is heart-wrenching. I cannot imagine what I would do if I were ever to be forcibly separated from my children. You can watch the scene I am talking about here on this link.

I don't think anyone can deny the truth of the 'Stolen Generations'. I believe it happened. Considering the all documents of the legislations held in WA at the time. You can't disproove history I don't think. Here is another link which is really interesting if you have time to flick through and read.

I guess I'm really interested in people's thoughts out there. Particularly how people feel we should approach this as Chrisitans. I really have no idea. I believe we need to show grace, and I believe we need to be compassionate, but after that I don't know! Should K.Rudd have done the apology? What good did it bring about? I'm white, so I have no idea!! And maybe that is the problem. I'm not from the 'Stolen Generation', I don't know what it is like to be removed from family and placed under the 'care' of others who are trying to 'breed out' my heritage.

I don't know, I really don't know. I hope I don't come across racist or anything, it's just one of those topics that I am really questioning at this moment, and I would love to hear any feedback people feel open enough to share.

Repair the past with Forgiveness

By Rob Furlong
Challenge Newspaper April 2009

Forgiveness frequently comes up in the news — whether it be another story about innocent people being killed in an overseas conflict or family members grappling with the devastating loss of a son or daughter in a car accident that was not their fault. Whatever the situation, at some point the people involved will face the issue of whether or not they will forgive the perpetrator of the crime.

Forgiveness is also a very real issue in marriage. The health of a couple’s relationship can often be determined by the willingness (or unwillingness) of a husband and wife’s readiness to forgive each other.

I have talked with many couples over the years and I never stop being amazed at the way in which people hang on to things that they did to each other years and years ago and the overwhelming pettiness of it all. “She did this…” “He always forgot…” “I never do that…” On and on it goes.

At the risk of being misunderstood, let me stress that I am not saying that their hurts (or yours) are insignificant and that they should be simply glossed over. All I just want to point out is that, at some point in the relationship, someone has to have the guts to forgive the other person. If this does not happen then the couple is either headed for the divorce court or they will simply learn to co-exist under the same roof in a permanent state of “Cold War”.

Gordon MacDonald in his book “A Resilient Life” writes persuasively about the importance of regularly practising forgiveness in our relationships. He uses a term to describe forgiveness that I find refreshing. He calls it “repairing the past”. If you think about it, that is precisely what we do when we forgive someone: we repair the wrong and the relationship.

In taking this step, I want to be very clear that forgiveness does not come cheaply. In marriage, for example, there should be a genuine acknowledgement by one party that what they did was hurtful and also a sincere commitment by them to change their behaviour. And the other person, then, freely forgives the guilty person from the heart.

I am not suggesting that I don’t struggle with forgiveness either; believe me, I have my moments! But throughout our marriage, Karen and I have regularly practised the discipline of forgiving each other. We have used simple words too. One of us will say, “I’m sorry for…I will change…” and then the other will say, “I forgive you.” (And mean it!)

You may think it sounds childish and perhaps the whole idea of actually saying the words “I forgive you” makes you feel awkward (it does!), but it has contributed to both of us keeping short accounts with each other and not allowing petty resentments to build up that over time would undermine our relationship.

On a gloomy Friday afternoon, with His life ebbing away and surrounded by a jeering, hate-filled mob of accusers spitting and cursing at Him, Jesus uttered some astounding words: “Father forgive them…” In that awful, dreadful moment, He was still able to forgive. This is the essence of the what He did on the cross: to purchase our forgiveness. And it challenges us to forgive also. And when we forgive, we repair the past.

May your Easter be blessed, and your marriage, as you receive and give forgiveness.

My legacy

What an interesting week it's been!

I turned a quarter of a century...yes I'm officially in my 'mid-twenties'.

And a good family friend passed away.

We attended his funeral yesterday and it has really messed with me. As I sat there, looking at the 4 young men and his wife he has left behind I really started to question God. Why did he allow this? He was still young and it doesn't seem fair?

I then started thinking about what will people say at my funeral? We all have to leave this life one day. Death is a fact of life. But, what have I done with my life that is of worth? Have I served God to the best of my ability or do I just keep wasting each and every day away?

I also had a few doubts about heaven and afterlife I guess. Not that I doubt there is a God, but the afterlife is such a unfathomable subject. We cannot comprehend what heaven is like...

It got me thinking about my life and what I'm doing with it. Most the time I am just going day by day and doing nothing. I got a new resolve yesterday though. I want to be known to have loved greatly. To have loved and raised my children to grow up and serve our God. To have not wasted my time here and that I served God and placed him first in my life.

I said to Russell last night that all I can think that he would say at my funeral is that I thought farts were hilarious. Not much of a legacy if you ask me.

In the past couple of months I've been thinking about my future, job wise. Since I was 5 all I have ever wanted to do is midwifery. However, I have never chased after it because I am held back by fear. Fear that I'm not good enough, smart enough, committed enough. I've always put my wants and needs first rather than consulting God and praying about it. This year though I have been seriously praying about it, and I feel God is leading me onto further studies. Curtin University offers a course which is 3yrs long. It is an undergraduate Bachelor of Science (Midwifery). Have theory have practical. It sounds like the perfect course for me. They only have intakes once a year, so I've missed this year. But that means I have until November to sort myself out and to keep praying about it. And YOU at home have until then to pray for me.

If I don't get accepted into this course, I will apply to a couple of Uni's to do Nursing for 3yrs and then I would have to do an additional year specialising in Midwifery.

Anyway...that's only one of the things I've been thinking about since the funeral yesterday. I just kept dreaming last night about death and what I'm doing with my life.

I just feel like I've had 25yrs already, and I have done nothing. Would people come to my funeral? Would they say 'yeah, she was ahhhlright.' or would they say that she was a woman of worth, a loving wife, mother and committed to her Saviour and that she lived a transparent life?

Anyway, there's just so many things going through my head at the moment I kind of have made a mess of this post.

I guess I am wondering if people have thought about what they would want people to say at their funeral? Have you thought about it? Has it changed how you live your day to day life?

All my prayers are with the H. family as they have been the last 7mths. Thankyou for all your hospitality and love you have shown myself and my family over the last 15yrs. xoxoxoxo

In these "tough times" does God really want us to tithe?

Firstly, a HUGE thankyou to those who commented and gave me advice on taking Eme on her first plane flight. She was a dream baby and went FANTASTICALLY! I will update on the trip soon...but for the moment I have something on my mind.

I am out of work. My maternity leave has officially ended, and since I am not returning to work full time, I am out of a job. I cannot commit more than 2 days a week to work and therefore, the majority of businesses out there don't want to know me.

This is an odd feeling for me. I have NEVER been knocked back for a position. EVERY interview I have ever gone for, I have gotten the job! So it came as a bit of a shock last week when I drove all the way up to Innaloo (from Kwinana) to go for a job interview that only lasted a maximum of 10mins to then be told I hadn't got the job. I was shell shocked!

Now, after a weekend away we have returned home to reality. A reality that we cannot live off Russell's chaplaincy wage and that if I don't find work THIS week, we may just not survive.

At the start of the year we decided that we really wanted to make sure that we tithed every week. We have tithed off and on since being married, and I really felt challenged by God this year to make an effort to always tithe. So, even though it has been scary to tithe, I've still been receiving a maternity leave pay and so it hasn't been too big a deal to tithe.

This week however, if we tithe, I don't think we will be able to afford groceries, let alone the electricity bill sitting on our fridge. But I still find in my heart that God is wanting us to tithe. I am of the opinion that God will still look after us and that he will pull through. However Russ is of the opinion that sometimes God wants us to use 'common sense' and save the tithing money and use it for our groceries, etc.

So which is it? Can it be both?

I am so confused right now and in amidst of all this unknowing and uncertainty I still feel a strange peace.

I so desperately want to be a stay at home mum. I want to focus all of my time and energies into being a mum and a wife and taking care of the family home, but I feel this huge pressure to go back to work so that our family can simply exist.

I don't feel God's leading in anything, other than to stay faithful to him and to tithe. But maybe I'm not hearing right...I don't know anymore.

I just simply don't know what to do.

How have your family's been going through these times? I find it hard to say that Australia is having a financial crisis, and that we are all doing it tough. We have had it so good for so long that I think this has been a much needed wake up call.

Have you and your family been tithing? Do you think God wants us to still tithe or do you think he wants us to have some 'common sense' and spend our money more wisely?

Would you sing this at church?

A friend played this song to me this week and we were wondering whether you would be able to sing it at church as an item or not?

There is nothing wrong with it theologically, but it is pretty confronting...

what would you do?

White ManWords and music by Michael Gungor and Lisa Gungor

God is not a man
God is not a white man
God is not a man sitting on a cloud
God cannot be bought
God will not be boxed in
God will not be owned by religion

But God is love, God is love, and He loves everyone
God is love, God is love, and He loves everyone

God is not a man
God is not an old man
God does not belong to Republicans
God is not a flag
Not even American
And God does not depend on a government

But God is good, God is good, and He loves everyone
God is good, God is good, and He loves everyone

Atheists and Charlatans and Communists and Lesbians
And even old Pat Robertson, oh God He loves us all
Catholic or Protestant, Terrorist or President
Everybody, everybody, love, love, love, love, loveOh, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

Yeah, I say God is love, God is love, and He loves everyone
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Stop the hating, please just stop the hating now cause God is love
Oh, whoa, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

So? What do you think?

Intentional Living

"...your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven."

Matthew 6:10

Started OnEarth last night and it went pretty well.

My expectations are that I will know all the stuff, but that this will give me the starting point that I need.

I have long heard the pain of people in our local communities and of people overseas and yet I have never had the tools to do anything about it. I’ve always felt a bit stumped as to where to start. I’ve had ideas and thoughts as to where to start, but have never seen these turn to fruition. I guess that’s part of being an INTP – I have all the ideas, but need people around me to put them to practice. I can give you all the ideas and creative tools, but I am hopeless at implementing them.

At the end of the session last night – which was a bit like an introductory session – I was left feeling like there are too many obstacles in the way.

I’m 7mths pregnant! I have other things on my mind at the moment! Russell has a stuffed knee and who knows when that is going to be fixed! At the moment he is so immobilised it’s not funny! We have these amazing ideas that we want to start getting connected into the community, but with Russell barely able to walk and me so rotund and expecting our 1st I just feel like it’s just not possible.

But, that being said…I feel that I should be doing this course. I feel that God wants me doing it for a reason, and that there is a point to the timing of it. There is a reason why Russell can’t play basketball on Mondays with his stuffed knee and therefore has time to do this course! There is a reason that I am due 4 days after the course finishes. I just don’t know what it is that God has up his sleeve.

I’m not going to quit. I’m not going to throw the towel in just because it doesn’t suit my timing. I’m just going to trust that God knows what he is doing and that all will be ok.

I’ll keep a bit of a journal on how the nights are going and how Russ and I are going with all the info and what thoughts and ideas we have happening.

I’m praying that this will be the kick start that we both need and that we will see radical things happening in our little area of Kwinana. We are determined to meet all our neighbours this weekend, so will let you know how that goes! We have been intending to do it since we moved in almost a year ago, but never have. So hopefully they will forgive us and we can establish a relationship with those we live amongst. Especially the old dude directly over the road from us! His entire body is covered in tattoos! How cool is that!? We were definitely meant to live near him!

What rules your life?

Fear rules my life.

I live with the constant worry of things that I cannot control.

Yesterday our Pastor preached on the fact that we can be free from fear.

We read the passage about Peter walking on water (Matt 14:22-35). I dwelt on the fact that the disciples were all in fear of what was going on around them. And after Peter stepped out on the water and started to sink, Jesus reached out and grabbed him.

I don’t believe it would have just been a simple hand up, but a full body grab and pull. Jesus wrapped around Peter and pulled him out of his hopelessness.

I felt God saying that he wanted me to start getting up earlier and spend some time with him. So I dragged my groggy butt out of bed this morning at 5.30am. I got up, made a cup of tea, sat in front of the heater and prayed and read the Bible.

I prayed that God would let me read what he wanted me to read and that I would learn something this morning. God lead me to read 1 Samuel 1+2. It was about Hannah who was barren prayed for God to give her a son, and that she would hand over her son to the service of God for the rest of his life.

What a brave move! But God heard her prayer and blessed her with a son, Samuel.

After reading this I headed to the Psalms and read a few of them.

I then got to spend however long in prayer. Usually my prayers are rushed as I don’t have any time, but seeing as I got up an hour earlier, I had all the time in the world.

(You may wonder how these 2 passages are linked…stay with me here!)

After yesterday’s message about letting go of fear and giving it over to God, and the passage this morning of Hannah giving over her son, I felt God saying that he knows the fears I have for our children and that I just need to give it over to him. I felt God's nudging and had to respond.

I have all these different things I think and worry over in my life, and I just need to take the burden of them and hand them over. So I did. And it felt unreal.

When Russell got up he said “I don’t like your attitude this morning…you’re too chirpy!”

I hope I can just remember how good I felt this morning tomorrow at 5.30am!

So, what rules your life? Is there something you need to be handing over to God?

I have not been abandoned, no I have not been
Deserted and I have not been forgotten

I need you
I need you here
I need you now
I need security somehow
I need you
Like you would not believe
You're the only thing I want
Cause you're everything, everything I need

Relient K

Just quickly...

I have been seething with anger for a while now. So, be warned, I am just airing some thoughts and throwing them out here, ‘cos I’m sick of them taking up so much brain space.

I am sick of heretical pastors.

Wait, how can I put that nicely?

I’m serious. I am tired of hearing about pastors who are out there teaching heresy and then their churches filling by the 1000’s. Why does God allow this to happen? Why is it that a pastor can preach heresy and no-one picks them up on it? They just keep going along their merry way hurting people and no-one does anything about it!?

I hear about different pastors and some of the things they are preaching and doing to people and I feel so helpless. I get frustrated because I cannot stand by and let them get away with it, but I am in no position to be talking to them about it. Who am I? Bek, that’s it. I hold no position of authority and I certainly don’t have any ground to stand on.

I said to Russell on Mon. night that Paul or Peter would have just written them a letter! Why can’t I just write a letter to some churches…because I’m not in any position to do so.

So, what do I do then? Do I just let it go? Try and get over it? But I don’t feel that I can just let it go! This sort of stuff gets right into my gut and I get so frustrated over the injustice of it all. Why is it that good, decent, Godly pastors seem to struggle and yet the men who are arrogant and control-freaks seem to ‘make it’.

Why does this happen and is there anything I can do about it?

Discipleship/Outreach or maybe both?

It’s not uncommon for Russ and I to differ in our thoughts on church and theology.

On Sunday we had been discussing the role of small groups and what we thought was the ‘correct’ way to do them, and what their purpose should be.

Russell believes that the small group can be both discipleship and outreach. That the 2 can happen at once in a small group.

I am of the thinking that a small group should be for discipleship and that outreach should be in every other area, except small group.

Say I decide to set up a ‘Mum’s group’ in the Kwinana area. I meet with other mum’s, the kids play together, and we can enjoy conversations and get to know each other in a social setting. Then someone is possibly asking questions and wanting to know more about God. I would feel more comfortable inviting her to church rather than small group straight away.

If I was to invite her to small group first thing, I believe it could be quite uncomfortable. Small group is quite a personal time and to invite someone into that can be uncomfortable for the guest and for the rest of the group. However, if I invited her to church first, a setting where she doesn’t have to meet people straight up, but can come for a few weeks, slowly get to meet people and then I would inviter her to a small group.

I believe that people should be coming to church, meeting up with fellow believers, and then going into their small groups for some more one-on-one learning. Discipleship. From there, we take what we learn and then put it into practice (outreach) in our day to day lives.

Am I making any sense here? It’s all a little hard to put onto paper, it’s easier just to talk about it!

Russell and I didn’t completely disagree, we were just tossing up different ideas.

What do you out there think? Do you think that a small group’s purpose is for Discipleship only or for Discipleship & Outreach, or do you think it has a completely different service? Should we be having them at all?

I believe small groups should be places where we can get involved in each others lives on a more personal level than possible in a Church service setting. What do you think?

What is baptism?

Recently in our small group we have been having some heated discussions about Baptism.

When one of the guys in our group was 6yrs, his dad (a Priest) “baptised” him. However it wasn’t full immersion. Now, 20 odd years later he enquired about becoming a member of a Church of Christ and was asked if he had been baptised by full immersion to which he said ‘no’. They are saying that if he wants to become a member, he needs to be baptised by full immersion.

Now, here’s the thing. His dad waited till he was ready to be baptised and that he understood what he was doing. So it wasn’t an infant christening.

My friend has a few questions and I have been reading up on it as I am of the stance that baptism is by full immersion. I have listed the questions below in bold. I would love to hear what different people have to say. I will post my answers in about a week.

I believe that baptism is a step that is absolutely vital in the Christian faith. So when someone confronts the issue of baptism it can be hard to have confidence in what you believe in. It has challenged me to think more about baptism and the significance of it. I hope that someone out there can help shed a little light!!


What is baptism?

What is the purpose of Baptism? What does it do? What’s the Theology behind
Baptism?

How do different denominations treat baptism and its meaning/significance?

What is the biblical basis for baptism?

History of Baptism prior to Christianity (i.e. Jewish basis)

What does the word baptism mean?

Perfectly Flawless?

Had a couple of really interesting discussions at our small group last night. One of them was about God’s perfection. The differences in our point of views on God and on our understanding of perfection. The other was on whether it is considered ‘right’ or ‘ok’ to have a casino night at youth for outreach.

They were both very interesting discussions…some people getting fired up…others getting defensive…it was very interesting.

Usually I jump right on in and love to ‘get my hands dirty’ and really dig and have a go at trying to nut things out. This time though I tried to just sit back and watch, and listen (at least I think I did). It was interesting to see different people’s reactions. Ways that people would get uncomfortable and defensive. We all need shaking every now and then, and I guess some people don’t like it. I like to be challenged on my belief’s, it usually gives me more ground for what I believe and only strengthens me. Some people though, these discussions can be very detrimental to their faith. Some people thrive on it, some it can shake them too much and push them down a different path.

We as Christians can’t always have the attitude of ‘It’s in the Bible and that’s it.’ Russell made a good comment about seeing something that people are doing that is good and true and right, and meeting them there and getting along side of them. Then pointing out that this, what you’re doing, is good and true and it is what God intended. That way your not walking up to someone saying, yeah, what you’re doing is great, but you need to do it this way and do it for God. It shows no care in the situation and it more than likely pushes people away rather than bringing them closer.

I diverge…

I guess I was just wondering what other people’s opinions are about God’s perfection.

Does he have flaws, weaknesses, vulnerablilities, did Jesus ‘sin’?

Is this foundational to any Christian faith? Or does it not matter, as long as you believe in God, you’ll get to heaven, won't you?

I’m just interested to peoples views…feel free to comment Pete ;) I like the way you think and challenge us :)

Oh, and I’ll post about the whole casino thing soon :)