Life Observations #7

35. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

36. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my itunes.

37. Why is a school zone 40kph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

38. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

39. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

Life Observations #6

30. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

31. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

32. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever. (or in my case...who gives a rats tutu...I'll wash it however I want!!)

33. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this.It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

34. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

Life Observations #5

21. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

22. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

23. Bad decisions make good stories.

24. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

25. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Life Observations #4

These are some of the funniest so far!!! I love 19 :)


16. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a d1ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

17. Everytime I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

18. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

19. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

20. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

Life Observations #3

11. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text

12. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say"

13. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

14. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

15. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

The cake I made for Father's Day - that Russ was too sick to eat!

This was the 'creamy cake' that I made for both dads and for my man who is soon to be a dad!

Stop Choking - Aussie Style

A woman sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough.

After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look at her.

Ken ya swaller? asked Bluey

The woman signalled 'No!', desperately shaking her head.

Kin ya breathe?' asked Bazza.

The woman shook her head No!!!

With that, Bluey walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her arse.

This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.

Bluey swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.

Bazza said in admiration 'Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it.'

What men really mean...

Bec sent me this email today and I thought I would post the one that fits Russell perfectly:


'I CAN'T FIND IT.'

Means: 'It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.'

*sigh*

Any other guys out there like this?

Deluded Night Sessions

I made a big Hazelnut Torte for Father's Day on Saturday night.

During the night I had one of my 'deluded night sessions' and I said out loud:

"That cake has so much cream it'll turn your breast milk into cream puffs"

Yes yes, seriously deluded.

Then I hid under the covers and nearly suffocated because I thought spiders were hanging from the ceiling trying to get my cake :)

Something to look forward to

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me dear old knockers,
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me tits.

‘Cos now I’m much older and gravity’s winning.
It’s Nature’s revenge for all that sinning,
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me tits.

‘Cos tits can be such troublesome things
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
I wish I’d looked after me tits.

When they’re both long enough to tie up in a bow,
When it’s not the sweet chariot that swings low,
When they’re less of a friend and more of a foe,
Then I wish I’d looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me tits.

When picking them up requires some leverage,
When it’s not so much lift as industrial heavage,
When there’s more of a parting and less of a cleavage,
I wish I’d looked after me tits.

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
Cruising around with my favourite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
I wish I’d looked after me tits.

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they’re less in the air and more near the floor,
When people see less of them rather than more,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me tits.

Nearly Banned by the Dog Groomers

I received a message on my phone yesterday afternoon saying that the cost for Jet's grooming would be double what we thought. A) because of the condition of his coat, B) because of his behaviour!!

I was so embarrassed! I knew he wouldn't really be a helpful dog, but I didn't expect them to have to muzzle him and spend an entire day trimming him! He was fine with the clippers....until they turned on! Then he became a nasty piece of work! They had to shave him in stages.

But now look at him! He is like a different dog! He got a shave, nails clipped, ears cleaned out, shampoo & condition and a flea treatment! The lady who did it all said we are lucky we came to her as no other dog groomer would have done it with they way he behaved! I think we need to do a little work on our little man. He is going to have to learn who's boss around here, because it is no longer him!

He sulked all night last night. I don't blame him. I couldn't stop laughing at him! He looks like a totally different dog and he looks hilarious! All he has left is a moustache and tail. Cutey.

He was a bit chirpier this morning, so hopefully he is over his little sulk and will learn to love his new 'do'.

hehehehe....hopefully they haven't banned us for life at the dog groomers and let us back in a few months!

Why I didn't make the Olympics

I'm sure we've all been there done that with some of this stuff!! Except for maybe the last one!

I can't wait for Summer to come!!

Diary of a Perth Summer ....its written by an Englishman...

August 31st:
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Perth!! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

September 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.

September 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

October 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 30 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer that I expected.

October 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

October 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat shit. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

October 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant bloody blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.

October 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $450,000 house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

November 4th:
It's 35 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but this bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid place.

November 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to strangle him. Bloody heat. By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!

November 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.

November 10th:
The weather report might as well be a bloody recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn place? Water rationing will be next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the bloody pool. Even the palms can't live in this heat.

November 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 38 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 house payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the repairman. Bloody Perth.
What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here?

December 1st:
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are kidding me!!!

This is how I feel at the moment!!

from here

The history of the 'Finger'

Well now…here’s something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to tell you all.

Isn’t history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.
Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future.
This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as “plucking the yew” or “pluck yew”.
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying,
“See, we can still pluck yew!”

Since ‘pluck yew’ is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to labiodentals fricative “F”, and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as “giving the bird”. It is STILL an appropriate salute to the French today.

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing!

A little comic relief

When I have a day like I have had today I tend to start to lose my marbles.

*Insert Russell’s joke….”You had none to lose anyway babe”*

I have had an extremely busy day at work today and have been so stressed that I start to go a little crazy (and I somehow still manage to post on my blog!)

At 3pm this arvo I went for a walk. I had to get away from my desk, and even though I’d already had lunch, I was STARVING! So I headed off to get a sausage roll & biscuit.

When I hopped onto the lift I noticed I was the only one in the lift. I remembered over hearing someone sometime ago saying they didn't think there were security cameras in the lift, so I started to dance.

Now, while I was dancing I was also singing…

“Adventure World….Adventure World….something something something… Adventure World…”

Now, this isn’t just a little bit of bopping. I’m talking air humping, twirls, and altogether genuine silliness for 11 floors.

Then, I stopped in my tracks. How would anyone know whether there are cameras on the lift? It wasn’t a security person I had over heard but a colleague. I work in a bank for goodness sakes! I’m sure they have cameras on the lifts.

I started to smile. As I reached the ground floor I hopped out of the lift and saw a customer standing there. I just burst out laughing. I wasn’t laughing at him, but I just couldn’t contain it any longer! The poor guy just stood there staring at me, and I ran out of the building.

Thankfully on my way back up to my floor I was able to restrain myself. I will have to save my silly dancing for the shower from now on I think.

Whacky Dodgy Small Group

My small group is going to excommunicate me if I keep this up, but I just had to share with you a little more about all of us twisted little souls.

Last week my cousin sent out a probing questionnaire to find out more about each other. What I found out didn’t surprise me. We have a bunch of very funny and quirky people. And yes, this is what we do when while we are all supposed to be working!!

And just quickly…is anyone else with me on the whole Rolling Stones v Beatles thing??

When did you last cry?

Me: I think it was Monday
Rick: When bella was born
Pete: Last night watching gladiator (please don’t kill me for posting that petey!!)
Bec: Last week
Eliza: About 10 mins ago
Ali: Fri for baby Ingram

Do you have kids?

Me: Nope unless you count my little boy Jet
Rick: Two of them every morning I wake up
Pete: Not that I’ll admit to
Bec: No
Eliza: No
Ali: Zac & Lachy

If you were someone else, would you be friends with you?

Me: probably...but that doesn't really work, because if I wasn’t me, then there would be no me to be friends with????!!!
Rick: I’d be lining up to be my friend
Pete: Damn straight. You’d have to be crazy not too and I wouldn’t be that if I was someone else even
Bec: No
Eliza: too many hypotheticals, that question makes my brain hurt
Ali: Probably, except when I’d want to punch myself

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Me: only since marrying russell. i still don't get his sarcasm sometimes but I am learning!
Rick: NO!!!!
Pete: Yes
Bec: Yes
Eliza: No my sense of humour is far more sophisticated ;)
Ali: Never (that was me being sarcastic)


Would you bungee jump?

Me: No…never
Rick: NO!!!
Pete: No, not by choice
Bec: No
Eliza: No way
Ali: Yes

What is your favourite cereal?

Me: Fruit loops (and only eat one colour at a time)
Rick: Although I would have said Foot Loops, in my old age it has become Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.
Pete: Toasted muesli
Bec: Coco Pops although i have discovered they make me sick
Eliza: Weetbix and vanilla almond granola with soy milk
Ali: Nutrigrain

Do you untie your laces when you take off your shoes?

Me: nope...then I complain because I can't get them untied in order to put them back on. I think this was the bane of my dad's life when I was a little girl getting ready for school!
Rick: Heck yes! We have rules in society for a reason
Pete: Yes
Bec: No
Eliza: yes, but I usually avoid shoes with laces
Ali: No

Do you think that you are strong?

Me: not physically...but I am surprising myself at the moment emotionally :)
Rick: I'm always surprised at how much I can lift...one crying baby, a large box of Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, a queen sized quilt and cover...
Pete: I can lift more than I weigh so I am relatively strong.
Bec: depends on the situation
Eliza: more talk than walk
Ali: I pushed 2 babies out does that make me strong

What is your favourite ice cream flavour?

Me: green apple from gelato....mmmmm
Rick: Chunky Monkey from Simmo's
Pete: Vanilla (anyone who says it’s not a flavour – get stuffed)
Bec: boysenberry...yummmmmm!
Eliza: it's not strictly icecream, but anyone who hasn't been to amano gelati bar in fremantle should leave work now and go there. try baci or freo delight or passionfruit or... any of them!
Ali: Chocolate/caramel/honeycombe mixture

What is the first thing you notice about people?

Me: how they act.
Rick: Their hair.
Pete: Whether they are happy
Bec: how they look
Eliza: hmmm probably their style
Ali: Their mood

Red or pink?

Me: Red
Rick: Nipples?? (sicko)
Pete: Pink
Bec: Pink
Eliza: pink (so long as it's not too sickly)
Ali: Pink

What do you least like about yourself?

Me: the way i overthink everything
Rick: My pot belly that can come and go depending on the meal I just ate (mostly it keeps coming).
Pete: Not having the courage to do the things I really want
Bec: everything except my eyes
Eliza: at the moment, my turmeric stained nails that make me look like a hardened smoker
Ali: the way i overthink everything (ditto bek) and I’m too black and white

Who do you miss most?

Me: all my fam over east!!
Rick: It would have been nice to have seen how far Nirvana would have went if Kurt wasn't such an idiot.
Pete: :) no comment
Bec: my friends in brisbane
Eliza: all my favourite people who i am distant from temporally, spatially or emotionally
Ali: Some me time


What colours are you wearing?

Me: shiny green top and black pants
Rick: Blue, red and green, I'm my own little flag!
Pete: Light blue shirt, grey blue pin stripe pants, and chocolate coloured shoes and belt
Bec: its 11am and im still in my blue pjs...i luv holidays
Eliza: black and all sorts of shades of green and blue
Ali: Grey pyjamas ( its only 11am)

Four people you'd like to come to dinner

Me: jaye and asher, and (hey my color just turned blue!!! - dont know what i just pressed) robbo and kaylee...havent seen them in a while
Rick: Assuming that my wife and kids would be there, Einstein, Dave Grohl, Johnny Depp and Jesus. Good one Bek, now everybody's writing is going to be blue unles they can be bothered to change the text colour...ANYONE?!?
Pete: It’s too hard to pick
Bec: tanya, kristy, kj and ettiene...that would be a blast...oh but then theres rachel a-l, dana, em and jord, tam, chris how is one sposed to choos only 4
Eliza: ooooh too hard. the turmeric experience has put me off cooking! let's say any 4 people who bring me a lobster dinner!
Ali: Bek and russ to catch up, my small group, Linley, sorry can’t count

What are you listening to right now?

Me: office sounds.....(and im back to black again!! what the!!!!!) lynnie asking me if I want a tea :)
Rick: The hum of the air conditioner, Bella moaning, Sanda trying to feed her and a little voice in my head that keeps telling me I should be doing soemthing slightly more constructive now (shhhhh little voice)
Pete: Ben and Zjelcko talking
Bec: my computer and a plane...im all alone in an empty quiet house
Eliza: my two colleagues tap tap tapping on their keyboards, and someone jingling what must be a massive set of keys.
Ali: Lachy measuring the furniture

If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?

Me: purple
Rick: Midnight blue
Pete: Blue
Bec: aqua
Eliza: can i be one of those soap crayons you can write on the bathroom walls with? they are colourful, fun and functional! (I have no idea what soap crayons are functional for though…nice one liza!!)
Ali: White cause I’de stay new the longest

Favourite smell?

Me: bread cooking, mum's roast in the oven,
Rick: A pine plantation when it has been rained on (no idea when he has smelt one of those)
Pete: Joop and Tommy (obviously pete likes to smell dudes necks!)
Bec: i luv the smell of the jasmine bushes in flower at mt coot-tha
Eliza: oooh my Dad's bread, fresh baking cookies, frangipanis, the ocean. i have an overactive olfactory system to make up for my visual disabilities
Ali: Baby smell (the good one)

Who was the last person that you talked to on the phone?

Me: lyn...telling her I dont want a tea, but Ive changed my mind and now i want one!! :) (hopefully she'll get the hint from this email) OH and I just talked to a banker wanting to know if we can finance air con...pffft YEAH RIGHT!!
Rick: Does texting count? I have given up answering the phone (especially when Sanda is here) as it is usually soemone annoying. The last person I did speak to that was great to talk to was Zoe.
Pete: Eliza
Bec: mum...a few mins ago to organise goin to lunch with her in freo...gee i better get ready then hehe!!
Eliza: Think it was Pete
Ali: Sanda

Favourite sports?

Me: netball, basketball, league (though I rarely get to watch any of it) lacrosse...watching my man run around hitting people, love it!!
Rick: Those two words shouldn't be in the same sentence when addressing me!
Pete: Golf, cricket, tennis, ping pong, beach volleyball. Damn I love sport ;)
Bec: anything except golf and lawn bowls...but especially cricket and rugby union (the game played in heaven)
Eliza: basketball, sailing
Ali: netball, swimming watching footy/soccer

Hair colour?

Me: i think it's light brown with blonde highlights, but im not really sure anymore
Rick: Brown when dry, black when wet and stacks more greys creeping in everyday.
Pete: Who knows. Straw?
Bec: dark brown (praacticallly black)
Eliza: it's been a long tiem since i saw my natural colour. at the moment it is blonde (going brassy) with regrowth that demands my attention (and my credit card)
Ali: Blonde with brown highlights?


Do you wear contact lenses?

Me: No
Rick: No, glasses are soooooo much cooler.
Pete: Sometimes
Bec: No
Eliza: sure, when i shelve my nerd costume for my bimbo costume
Ali: No

Favourite food?

Me: all mum's cooking... I love all foods except chilli's and pickles...ewwwww
Rick: Far too much, scallopini, spaghetti marinara, mosaic (romanian cake), etc
Pete: Meat – especially a good pepper steak
Bec: Italian
Eliza: Dad's bread, curry, gelati, BBQd fresh seafood, small group dinners, my fruit cake, anything homemade when i'm hungry
Ali: Jaffles on an open fire

Scary movies or happy endings?

Me: happy endings....cant handle scary movies...i have a weak bladder and can't make it through without wetting myself
Rick: I went off scary movies once I got married and realised I was now this family's best defence against chainsaw weilding psychos (I bet you thought I was going to write once I got married I started living my own scary movie didn't you??? See I am also spontateous!!).
Pete: Both
Bec: Happy endings
Eliza: scary movies don't scare me, but happy movies move me.
Ali: Happy endings

Last movie you watched?

Me: some random one called 'stage beauty' with clare danes...WEIRD...its about dudes who used to act as women 'cos it was illegal for women to act and then the king changes the law and now chicks can act on stage...it's just really weird!!
Rick: Hmmmmm, tough one, we have two kids. Ummm, Transformers..no, no wait, The Bourne Ultimatum (we haven't watched a DVD since early 2007??).
Pete: A little bit of Gladiator to check out my new TV – Awesome
Bec: Elisabethtown
Eliza: oh this is REALLY embarrassing, i was recovering from being sick on the weekend and found myself slumped in front of Mariah Carey's Glitter
Ali: Flushed away with lachy and linley


What colour shirt are you wearing?

Me: shiny green (remember...shiny!!)
Rick: Blue and red (it was the underwaer that is green...oops off comes the underwear)
Pete: Light blue – kind of aqua. Whatever
Bec: pjs
Eliza: all sorts of shades of green and blue
Ali: Grey


Hugs or kisses?

Me: hugs
Rick: Special adult hugs (or kisses in the right places).
Pete: Kisses
Bec: hugs
Eliza: hugs, they're more widely applicable!
Ali: hugs but kisses from lachy

Favourite sound?

Me: music?? this is a bit of a weird question
Rick: The sound of opening a bag with a brand new, unread comic in it.
Pete: Jack’s Mannequin
Bec: kids laughing and having fun
Eliza: a friends's voice when you pick up the phone
Ali: Children sleeping

Worst sound?

Me: still...weird question
Rick: The sound of opening a bag with a brand new, unread comic in it in bed when Sanda is asleep and she stirs then I know I am going to cop it
Pete: the sound of a breaking bone.
Bec: (I think we are still waiting on her answer!)
Eliza: a telemarketer's voice when you pick up the phone
Ali: Zac doing something in his nappy

Rolling Stones or Beatles?

Me: rolling stones
Rick: Both are very over-rated but especially the Rolling Stones. So it is the Beatles by default.
Pete: Beatles
Bec: beatles
Eliza: the beatles
Ali: Beatles


Do you have a special talent?

Me: I can roll my tongue :)
Rick: Making people laugh? Being able to go without farting (I HATE that word) for however long is necessary
Pete: Ye lots of them.
Bec: hmmm not that I know of...
Eliza: I used to be able to do a high kick and tap my toe on the top of a doorway. Superceded by giving shoulder rides to fully grown adults. Now I choose more sedate pursuits, like cake decorating.
Ali: Singing out of tune

You can see why I love these guys!!!

Paper Scissors Rock

My cousin sent this to me last night. Ah, it made me laugh this morning :)


"I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why then can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear it up in 2 seconds. When I play rock, paper, scissors, I always choose rock. When somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you..."

Russell may need to upgrade me soon

It’s true. I’m falling apart.

These last 2 months have been very trying and I fear that Russell may need to get an upgraded wife soon if I keep heading down this track.

Last month I had 3 doctor’s appointments, 5 blood tests and lots of stress. This month I have had to go to the podiatrist to get my feet sorted out. I have my father to thank for the ingrown toenail gene (ugh I just hate even saying it) and my mother to thank for my ‘broken’ arches.

I have only had one ingrown toenail on my left foot (my big toe) and had it operated on in 2001. I was worried that my big toe on my right foot was going to go ingrown because I got a pedicure in Thailand and she cut my nails in an odd way. I’m a little paranoid about these things and thought I would just head on over to the podiatrist to make sure everything was ok.

The doctor checked my toe – all is good – YAY! Then I asked her to check my arches.

“Major dodgy-ness” were her exact words!

She then proceeded to tell me I would have to book another 2 appointments to get my feet moulded and scanned and all this techno stuff done to get these fibreglass innersoles thingys. I don’t even know what the heck you call them, but I know what the heck they cost! $1300 smack-a-roonies!

I thought I was covered for this stuff under my health insurance, but it turns out I’m not. So either we cough up the $1300 – though I’m not sure where we can cough it up from, or I end up with my knees around my back and hobbling like a 98 year old!

*Sigh*

I told Russell yesterday that I’m just falling apart and that he may need to upgrade soon. Funnily enough, he didn’t agree. (awwww)

I wouldn’t be surprised if my boobs fell off next!

Movie Quiz

Can you all have a shot at this?

I've got 17 so far, so if you could give me your answers, that'd be great!!

Thanks!!

Oh, and enjoy :)