10.7.06

at a glance...

This is from a girl on bmezine.com who posted a story of getting a piercing. For her this was a spiritual experience. In my previous blog I was trying to determine if people were piercing for image or for a deeper reason....
alas I came across this...

For me getting a piercing is serious business. I'm drawn to piercings as a transformational process or ritual. It's one of facing a fear, knowing what the fear represents symbolically and the impact of the fear, confronting it and moving through the fear.
On June 23 I needed to face my fears. I just celebrated my 32 birthday the night before. When the celebration was over I took stock of my life and I found it wanting.
I have spent my entire life trying to fit in somewhere, anywhere. I work at a quiet job in a financial practice. I look like a nerd. I dress like a grandma. I live a quiet unassuming life. In a room full of people I fade into the wallpaper. I'm afraid of standing out, speaking my truth, being me instead of a "nice girl." I'm convinced that if anyone knew the real me, they would know I'm not a "nice girl" and they wouldn't see me altogether.
To get by in life you have to be a "nice girl" or a "good girl." I guess I'm afraid of being found out for who I really am. I'm afraid of being discounted and subsequently disappearing because of who I am.
Have you heard that the greatest fear is not about dying, but living an exceptional life instead? This question really moved me as I examined my life. It still moves me. What would it take to stop fading into the shadows and drifting through life as a member of the walking dead? For me the physical act of piercing my nipples was a symbol of giving birth to a life of being awake, out spoken, and not willing to fade away any more.


"That poor girl" - first thought in my head. She is obviously craving something and she is filling it with holes in her body?
hmmm the thought process continues.