Well....oh my....it has been a long time. And I am quickly losing interest in starting every post with that!

I always think that I can do it all. Mother, Student, Wife, plus all the other things I like to fit in between. Like knitting home made items and cooking up a storm, and the occassional thought of overseas mission trips and of starting up charities!

I'm only just starting to realise that I CAN'T do it all. But I very rarely will ever admit that. Not until I'm curled up in a foetus position crying for a day. Even then, I get up the next day just as determined to do it all.

I've really enjoyed being at Uni so far this year, but I've had to make my sacrifices. I either sacrifice time spent with Emery and Russell, or I sacrifice study time. Plus I feel like I've sacrificed the time normally spent bonding with the baby I'm carrying. I have no real connection to this baby yet and I'm concerned that this could lead to Post-natal depression later down the track.

My last exam for Uni will be on the 16th of June, so I'm just counting down the days till then. Then I feel like I'll be able to get back on top of everything. Back to being a real mother and wife. Then I get selfish though and wish I wasn't having this baby so that I could return to my studies next semester. That's when the thoughts of "I can do it!" come in and I start to toy with the idea of having this baby in amongst my studies in the second semester. But I also don't like admiting or thinking these things just in case God decides to take this baby from me! Argh!

2 weeks ago Russell's Pop passed away on a Saturday morning. He was like a real Pop to me. He and Nan were the only one's to really accept me into the family and make me feel at home. To have pure acceptance with no strings attached...it's very rare to find that. But he and Nan have passed away this year and it feels as though the Ingram side of the family are a little lost without them. We had Pop's funeral on the following Thurs. morning. At which, I received a phone call from my dad saying that my Pop had passed away that morning. So then, Sunday night I flew over to Sydney to join the Furlong family and to say goodbye to my Pop.

That was the most interesting, emotional, and stressful week I have ever had. All beginning with the flight over. It was a red-eye flight and I was flying with my sister and her daughter, no husbands. Eme was sick with a chest infection and didn't sleep most of the flight, and just as we started the descent into Sydney she vomitted everywhere. It wasn't just a little spew, I'm talking 5/6 big chucks. I had to strip her down (the poor passenger next to me was an angel and helped me incredibly) and she entered Sydney airport with just her socks on and bathrobe...hair full of vomit, walking around like one of those crazy women you see in the city sometimes (this IS Eme I'm talking about too!). I had only slept 1hr in the last 30+ hrs and burst into tears when my Dad and Uncle picked us up. I couldn't sleep during the day as I had gone past the point of sleeping and we all literally crashed into bed that night.

It was a long 4 days and I was starting to wonder whether I had made the right decision in going over, but once I got to the funeral, and the day was (mostly) about Pop I was thankful to have gone over. I loved my Pop. He was always fun and he was the only person who could get away with calling me 'Becky'. Which he did my ENTIRE life.

I missed Russell more than I ever have - I left him at the airport crying because I was going to miss him - and he picked me up crying because I had missed him so much! (Friggin' hormones)

It's amazing how much someone can squeeze their way into your life, to the point where you are feeling like something is missing when they are not around. We will celebrate 5yrs of marriage this June and it has gone so fast - but has been the best ride, thus far!

We are also in the middle of finding a new church. Seems we go on this journey every 2yrs or so, so in order to ensure that this DOESN'T become a 2yrly event, we are catching up with our old Bull Creek pastor & his wife to discuss church, spiritual and life issues. This has been really beneficial (after only one meeting anyway!) and it has been a real blessing to set aside time to discuss and pray intentionally about something so important.

We are alternating between going to Mosaic and Thornlie at the moment - but there are a few spanners that are being thrown into the works that are starting to make things difficult...again.

There wasn't really much point to this post...I guess I just felt the need to write this morning. Plus I'm procrastinating getting into some study. Who needs to know the ins and outs of cells anyway!