This was written 3 wks ago (it's just taken me a long time to finish off!)
I cannot believe that just over a week ago I gave birth to Emery.
In the last couple of weeks leading up to her birth I was anxious and worried that I wouldn’t be able to handle or endure the labor. I didn’t know if I was cut out for it. I was worried that I would panic and the whole experience would be a nightmare.
I prayed and prayed for weeks that God would fill me with a sense of peace, that I wouldn’t panic, and that the right people would be on staff the day of her birth. That he would prepare them in a way I guess.
The night before, we had dinner at my parents place and went to watch my dad’s Touch Footy team play (they lost by one try!!). On the way home dad drove past his normal turnoff and said that he was looking for some speed humps. He proceeded to drive through Thornlie Square (a shopping center) driving over speed humps to try and bring the baby on! He even bottomed out on one of the humps. When we got home he said,
“If that baby comes tomorrow it will be because of me!!”
The morning of the 18th was like any other day. I woke up wondering if today would be the day – though I was convinced the baby was never going to come. Russell had the day off work and decided to have “words” with the baby.
“If you would like to come today baby, today would be a good day!”
We then headed down to Kwinana Hub (another shopping center) – visited the library, got a couple of groceries and rented 2 movies out.
While we were walking around Woolworths I felt a little “tight” and had to walk slowly. It was tiring and I remember feeling a little achy in my back and tummy. I mentioned it to Russell and he just slowed down for me (he kept walking ahead a bit too quickly for me!)
I didn’t think anything of it. We got home, organized some lunch and then sat down to watch ‘21’. While I was making lunch, I still felt tight and achy and messaged 2 of my best friends that I felt a bit of ‘pain’ and that hopefully it meant something, just maybe, was going to happen! (Russell still had no idea at this point). We started watching the movie and the whole time, the pain got worse. It was bearable and I just sat through the movie and lived with it. I thought the baby had possibly moved into an awkward position and so that’s why I was in a little pain. At about 3pm I mentioned to Russ that I had been having pain for the last 3hrs and sat in one of our chairs that has a massage machine attached to it. It helped ease the pain in my back a little.
The pain just kept getting worse. At this stage, I had to start walking around. It brought the pain on quicker though and I was starting to feel a bit excited! We were meant to head up to Russ’ parents place to have dinner that night, and at about 4.30pm Russ called to say that we wouldn’t be able to make it. I didn’t think that I was in labor, but we thought it best to call the labor ward and see if we should come in for a checkup or not.
Of course they said to come in, but I was still in denial. Russ started running around packing things. I had packed my bag the week earlier and just needed a few toiletries. Russ kept asking what else we needed and I kept saying
“Nothing – they will just send us home anyway!!”
So, Russ just ignored me and packed absolutely everything! He knew the baby was coming.
We got to the hospital about 5.15pm and waited a while to be seen. In the end they had to grab a midwife who was out in the ward as they didn’t have enough staff on in the labor ward. Her name was Cindy and she sat me down on the bed and checked everything. She did an internal check and said that I was 3 centimeters dilated and that the baby was well and truly on its way. While I was in the room with her the pains were still getting worse and quicker. They were coming between 2 and 3 minutes and were lasting roughly 30 secs. That sounds so easy writing it like that, but it felt like an eternity.
Cindy said that because I was only 3cms I could go home for a few hours, labor at home and then come back in, or I could just hang around in the room. Because we live half an hr away from the hospital, I would probably get home, then have to turn around and come back, so we stayed. Cindy noticed however that the contractions were getting worse and happening quicker and thought it wise we stay at the hospital.
At week 36 of the pregnancy they check you for a bacteria called ‘Group B Strep’. It’s a bacteria that you can carry around in your gut, and when pregnant, can transfer…..down….wards….and pass to the baby during birth. Because of this, I had to have antibiotics via a drip. I was also seriously dehydrated and needed some topping up. I had to have the antibiotics inserted every 4 hours, but ended up only having them once because she came so quickly!
The doctor came in to set up the drip and I was happy to see that it was the doctor I had been hoping would be around on the day. In the public system you get whoever is on call that week and I had been in prayer for 4/5mths that God would have the right people on staff when our baby would come along. I felt so relaxed when he came to insert the drip! I told him that I didn’t like needles and didn’t want to have the drip put in, so he gave me a local and then inserted the drip. I’m a big wuss with needles and I think the doctor was probably thinking “you’re in labor you silly woman…the drip is the least of your worries!” But he complied anyway :)
So, once the antibiotics were in, the midwife noticed that my contractions were starting to happen quicker and were getting quite strong so she started asking what I had planned to happen during labor. Whether I was wanting to have an epidural or go completely natural. I said I wasn’t too sure, but that I didn’t really want to have an epidural, but with every contraction I was starting to reconsider that thought! She suggested that we start off small, so she started to fill a bath for me. She said, if that didn’t feel like it did much then we could go for some gas, and so on and so on.
She said being only 3cms at 6pm, it probably wouldn’t be until after 12am that I would be ready to start pushing. I kept looking at the time and trying to count down the hours. I just wanted to keep thinking about how I wouldn’t remember anything and that I would be holding our precious baby the next day.
I was a little disappointed because I had been hoping the baby would be born on the 18th as it was my Great-Grandfathers 100th birthday. It would’ve been nice to share that day with the birth of our child.
Around 7pm I got into the bath. At this stage I still had my dress on and I just pulled it up to just under my arms. After the midwife left the room I stripped and Russ just sat close by continually saying that I was “doing a good job”. I wasn’t really in a talkative mood and just wanted to sit in the bath and keep my eyes closed. At first I didn’t want to get too wet (no idea why) and I just sat there, but as the contractions continually got stronger I started flapping around that bath like “Free Willy”. I had my head under the water and just floated around until a contraction started and I would splash around like a whale. I didn’t realize I was doing it until the next day when Russell mentioned it! I told the midwife, when she came to see how I was going, that I “need something more! The water isn’t enough!” so she went and grabbed the gas for me. It’s a tube with a little area at the end of the tube where you can just breathe like normal and breathe in the gas. The gas takes a few seconds to start having any effect. I was sucking on the thing like it was going out of fashion. When a contraction would start I would fling my hand out and Russ would put it in my hand and I would ‘suck’ through a contraction. When I was done I would hold it up for Russ to take back, he did a very good job :)
I remember at one stage holding out my hand to hold Russ’ hand while sucking on the gas with my other hand. I squeezed so hard that I heard EVERY knuckle in his hand crack! I swear I have never squeezed that hard in my life. It’s like you get an extra bit of strength during labor.
I’m just going to quickly insert here what the contractions felt like. No-one ever tries to explain what it feels like, and I can understand why, there are not really any words to describe it, but I’ll try! For me, it was like a huge amount of pressure in my lower abdomen. As though there were a tonne of bricks sitting on my pelvis and the pressure would start of small and then get worse and then calm down again. Like a wave of pain. However I think I got so high on the gas that it is hard to remember exactly what the pain was like. All I can remember is thinking “I’m never doing this again. This is it. Our only child!” But then the next day I forgot all about it, fell in love with Emery and said “It wasn’t that bad, I can do it again!”
I ended up being in the bath for 2hrs. Before I got in Cindy had checked my fluids and said that I was dehydrated and that I needed to keep drinking water. It was really hard though to hold the cup of water because I was sucking the gas so much it made my hands feel like little stumps. They were all pins and needle-y and I couldn’t hold onto the cup or the gas pump properly, so Russ ended up having to stick a straw in my mouth and hold the cup for me while I drifted away on another planet.
Apparently while I was in the bath Cindy came in to check on me and started talking about having to put a drip in to re-hydrate me. I have absolutely no recollection of this. I was so high and ‘in the zone’ that I didn’t notice her talking to me or putting the drip in.
I remember starting to say to Russ that I couldn’t do this, that I didn’t want to do it anymore, and that I needed something more than this gas thing! He said the next day that I kept saying this when he was just in the room, but whenever the midwife came in I was completely calm and just soaking in the bath! At 9pm Cindy came in and decided to check how far along I was and she was shocked to see that I was fully dilated. I remember her getting my attention and saying
“Rebekah, you are fully dilated (she had a big smile on her face), this baby is ready to come. Now, Rebekah, you cannot have this baby in the bath, you need to get out.”
I remember thinking to myself
“As soon as she turns around, I’m just going to push really hard and she can’t stop me from having this baby in the bath!!”
I kept saying “Just one more minute, just one more”
Russ decided he needed to take control of the situation and he grabbed both my arms and just yanked me out of the water! I sat on the edge of the bath as I started to have another contraction. I felt all woozy and couldn’t hold myself up properly. One of the student midwives who I agreed could watch the birth gave me a towel to dry myself. All I did was swing it onto my shoulders like a cape and proceeded to walk around the ward like some sort of super-hero. I walked into someone else’s room and I remember Russ having to direct me. I couldn’t walk straight and had to have help to get myself into my own room.
After getting into the room, this is when the ‘yucky’ pain started. I didn’t mind the contractions too much, it was the pushing pain that I hated. It’s just this unbearable feeling of having to push…you can’t control it! I hated it!
After a while Cindy decided to break my waters as they hadn’t broken on their own. Then, after that she said that the baby was stuck and that I needed to try different positions to try and move her along. She got me to sit on a stool/chair thing and she tried to get me to stand up or lean over some pillows. I look back at it and find it really undignified, but at the time, I couldn’t care less and just wanted the baby out.
Cindy kept saying,
“The baby’s nearly here, it’s nearly here…push push push”
And I kept saying
“How many minutes away exactly. How many more minutes?”
I needed a time frame.
The ended up having to sit me on the toilet to try and see if that helped move the baby down a bit, and it worked! So off I went and they sat me up in the bed. I didn’t want to lie down so I got to be sitting up which felt a little more comfortable.
Cindy kept saying
“There’s the head! Can you see the head?”
I couldn’t see what the heck she was talking about. I didn’t believe her. She got Russ to stand on one side and help support my leg and she stood on the other side. They BOTH kept saying they could see the head, and I remember Cindy saying that the baby had it’s Daddy’s hair (None of us knew the sex of bub either and the midwife was looking forward to finding out).
One of the midwives went and got a free standing mirror so that I could see this head they kept talking about. After every push you would see the head, and then it would go back up! It was so depressing! But it eventually started to stay and slowly after a few more contractions and pushes her head popped out. And so did her arm! It was amazing. There was this head and her little hand was clinging onto Cindy’s finger. Then after the next contraction the rest of her slithered out and Cindy held her up and said
“What is it!?!”
And I said
“A girl!!!!!”
Russ was shocked as he was convinced the whole time that it was a boy. But you couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.
She was laid down on my tummy and she had a pathetic little cry. I will never forget just looking at her and being amazed. I couldn’t believe that it was all over! It was the biggest feeling of relief that I had ever felt. And it took away every single memory of pain that I had felt in the last 10.5 hrs. It was amazing. I think that was one good thing about birth. It is so amazing and terrific that you just completely forget about the torture you’ve just been through the instant you meet your little one.
Of course it doesn’t end there. You still need to deliver the placenta – which is the most feral thing ever – and the check to see if stitches are needed. A midwife stuck a needle in my thigh (helps bring the placenta out quicker) and I remember turning around sharply, giving her ‘the look’ and saying
“OW….that hurt!”
I don’t think she really cared too much….would’ve been nice for a little fore warning though!
Cindy asked if Russ wanted to cut the cord – I said he did J - so he did. He took some photos and they tried to get Emery to have a feed (which hurt like hell the first time). After that they took her off me and went to check everything and make sure she was ok. I remember looking over and thinking she looked enormous! That she couldn’t have possibly fit inside me! The midwives were all trying to guess her weight…she was 3.880kg (8lb 8.5oz)
I was shocked. I always thought I would have little petite babies. Not jolly big boofheads!
Russ called all the family to let them know she had arrived and I had to get stitched up. I remember thinking after she was born
“Woo hoo…I don’t need stitches!”
But, I was wrong. I had 2nd degree tearing and they called the doctor to come in and stitch me up. He was supposed to be there for the birth, but Emery came so quickly that he didn’t get a chance to be there.
As he was stitching me up (I got to suck on the gas again!) he was saying that when he received the call at 10.30pm to say it had happened, he thought they were calling to say that I was ready for the epidural. He was shocked that she had come that night.
After being stitched up and checked out I got to go have a shower, which was really nice. It was hard to stand up but the warm water helped to relax me.
Around 1am I got taken to my room in the ward and I got to take Eme with me. They set me up in my room and Russ stayed for a little while. Around 1.30am he headed off to stay at a friends place down the road from the hospital and I was left to my own devices with Eme.
I was a little panicked as I wasn’t sure what to do. How would I know if she needed a nappy change or a feed? But a midwife came to check on us every couple of hours which was nice to know.
I remember I didn’t sleep one bit that night. I just stared at Eme the entire time and she stared back at me. She didn’t make a noise but she was awake!
I couldn’t believe that it was all over. That I had survived labor and that I now had a daughter. It still doesn’t feel real now. I cannot believe that I have been blessed with this privilege. It is one of the most amazing experiences of my life and I never want to forget it. I will never forget the first moments with her, and that first night with her. It was instant love.
When I look back, I’m very proud of myself. I did it. I survived! It didn’t kill me! And funnily enough, I’m sure I’ll go back and do it again and again and again!
The reward is well worth it. The best thing is that it has increased my love for Russell and developed an even deeper relationship with the two of us. We are now a little family and I am so grateful to God for all he has done for us.
He kept me calm and at peace, the right staff were on, and we were blessed with a healthy happy little boofhead.
My recommendation to all is to go for it! You won’t regret having your kids!
