If stress brings on an early labour, I wouldn't be surprised if this baby decided to come next week! I may need to start collecting people's guesses and estimates soon!!
I have never been so stressed in my life. Getting married was nothing compared to this...neither was giving birth! (or the stress involved in the leadup to that big moment!)
I have 3 exams this week. Mon, Tues and Thurs. and I have never felt so inadequate or stressed in my entire life.
I have been studying everyday for the last 2 weeks (not including all the study in the weeks beforehand) and nothing is sticking. Most people make jokes about baby brain, but I truly think it really is something chemical inside the head that goes astray. I can't remember to put my pants on the right way or drop Russell off at the correct workplace, let alone all the ins and outs of the human body...and they tell me this is very basic human biology.
I have spent this afternoon crying, a couple days last week crying, and I am physically exhausted. I can study a module all day and night, and come to refresh myself the next morning, and it's like I'm reading a foreign language. It just does not make sense and I cannot understand any of the concepts.
Why am I studying this? Why am I not studying where my natural talents and gifts flow? This would be so much easier if I was studying the Arts or Teaching, but no, I want to be a midwife.
I've decided that I may need to defer my studies until we have had all our children. This is really hard for me as I want it all now! I want the 4/5 kids, but I want to be a student at the same time. I'm realising that I made my choice when I was 24 and had Eme and that I am just going to have to live with the consequences. I absolutely love being a mum, and I would give up anything for my children, and this is one of things. I need to put aside my own selfishness and put my children and husband first. I'll get there one day...just not in my own timeframe (funny that isn't it!)
If anyone is reading this, I could really use your prayers. I've been praying for the last 6 months for God's help, and I still feel like I'm doing this on my own...so some intercessory prayer is definately what I need.
12.6.10
Remind me again why I'm doing this?
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5 comments:
I will pray for you dear. Promise.
Hey,
I'm sure things will work out, because you never fail unless you give up, so what if things take longer than planned, do what you have to do to live comfortably.
I will keep you and the family in my prayers,
Christon.
Hey Bek, I'm praying for you. Exams suck and they aren't always scheduled kindly either. I remember having one at night and that sucked. I'm praying you will get through this and do really well.
If after praying about it, you truly feel this is what God wants you to do with your life, then it will be worth it xo
Hey Bek,
First year nursing is by far the worst, it gets better; I promise. Give yourself a break thou, way too many things going on right now! Could you plan to defer but do the exams anyway, you'll be suprised by just how much has been absorbed! You'll also find the exams less stressful if you have an alternative plan for when they are over. Praying for you, karyn (Gaz's wife)
Hello Bek,
I found you via Iris's blog and tadaa you are in Perth as well.
Guess what, I just started my Nursing studies this semester!! I am doing this semester online, the first two units as I got one as ct via my sport science and come 2011 I'll be on campus.
Good luck with the pregnancy and the last few weeks.
all the best, Flea
p.s Keep your head up, I know the feeling and been there/are there!!
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