Letter

Dearest body,

I know you've had to undergo some drastic changes recently, but honestly you've got to pull yourself together!

For example, the boobs...if they get any bigger they will explode by the time any milk comes in! It'll be like the baby gets knocked out by a safety bag everytime they go in for a feed!

The muscles...they can't stretch any further. You may continue trying, but they just can't do it! It's almost as though they are being pulled off my backbone...and it's getting a little sore.

Belly...well...where to start. I can no longer put on my socks, pants, or undies without aid from a third party. And we both know that I can't go out in public with just a top on if I just dress myself. People may ask questions. I can't cook on the hotplates without cinging you and I can't reach that mars bar that fell under the couch.

Oh, and the belly button has asked me to pass on, that it too, can not go out any further. Its reached its limit. Actually it reached its limit about 6mths ago, and it's not going to be pretty if things continue.

Brain, you served me well with exams, but the everyday stuff, you are falling short! Only shaving one underarm or leg then forgetting the other...not on. Dropping hubby off at incorrect work place...not on. Forgetting child when visiting someone...not on.

Body, you have served me well these last 26 years. All I ask is that in this last month, maybe you could give me a break. I know it's all 'worth it in the end' but at the moment....the end seems too far away, so if you could just pull yourself together this last month that would be great.

Yours sincerley, bek