Every Mother's A Working Mother

Written by Barbara Curtis

It was the kind of splendid September day when sending kids to school just feels wrong. Fortunately, that year I was homeschooling and calling the shots. Plus we were living in California, an hour from the Pacific Ocean. For all I knew, it could be the last day of summer, and we wouldn’t want to miss that. So it was off to the ocean with five children under eight – Josh, Matt, Ben, Zach, and Sophia.
Together, we cleaned up from breakfast, prepped the car, then gathered beach blankets, umbrella, towels, swimsuits, diapers, sunglasses, sand toys, first aid kit, sunscreen, a cooler full of snacks and drinks – ay yi yi yi yi! Hello, motherhood – goodbye spontaneity.
I loaded the assorted car seats and strapped, snapped, and buckled five wiggling bodies into Big Blue – the 1989 Suburban we grew out of only a few years later. And we were on our way.
With everyone else in school, the whole beach was ours. I staked out our territory close to the water, hauled everything down from the car, and set up camp. For five hours I served as personal valet, sunscreen slatherer, weather advisor, recreation director, swim instructor, lifeguard, EMT, food concessionaire, manners consultant, bus boy, interpreter, peace negotiator, psychologist – not to mention lost-and-found.
Finally, I hauled everything back to the car, strapped, snapped, and buckled five sunscreen-and-sand-coated no-longer-wiggly warm, limp bodies back into Big Blue and headed for home.
The sun through the window was soothing, and the car was full of contentment. It had been a wonderful day and I was pleased with myself as a mother.
Then from the back seat, I heard Zachary clear his throat, and in his deadpan four-year-old Eeyore voice ask, “Mom, when are you going to get a job?”
“This is my job,” I said, somewhat amused and just a little edgy.
But homeward bound, as the kids fell asleep one by one and I was left alone with my thoughts, I began to see the beauty of Zach’s question: somehow – even though it could be hard work and even though I had my testy moments – my kids didn’t think of motherhood as a job.
And I decided that was a good thing – because it’s not really a job at all, but a calling. And callings just don’t look like jobs, because they require more of a person than a job requires.
Which makes it hard for moms whose days are spent conquering mountains of laundry, creating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and kissing owies.
We live in a world where success is measured by progress – as recorded on report cards, sales reports, performance reviews, pay raises. And symbolized by ribbons, trophies, and merit badges. In our lifetimes, our husband and children will bring scores of these items home and make us proud. We’ll put them in scrapbooks, sew them on uniforms, frame and hang them up for all to see.
But I don’t know of any special awards for teaching a child to tie her shoe or come to dinner when he’s called. No raises or praises when a mother drops everything to drive someone out for posterboard: “Your project’s due tomorrow? But it’s almost eight o’clock!”
Every day this goes on: everyday moms doing everyday things – sometimes struggling with feelings of inferiority or even worthlessness – just being obedient to their call.
But while motherhood can look easy – it’s certainly not rocket science, after all – the irony is this: while lots of important people in important places conduct lots of important business every day, the truly most important work in the whole world is really going on at home, where the CEO is mommy.
And God is like an equal opportunity employer, giving every woman in the world – through birth and adoption – this wonderful, unequalled opportunity.
I guess if we got disgruntled enough from lack of appreciation, we could start a Mommy Power movement (the same seeds of discontent that began the feminist movement – only in a direction away from motherhood). We could have bumper stickers that say: If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy
We could sue people who put us down at parties and maybe even get a special mention as a protected minority not to be discriminated against.
But that wouldn’t be very mommy-like, would it? Because there’s something about mommies that should be soft where others are hard, kind where others are cruel, patient where others can’t wait. We may not start out that way at all, but there’s absolutely nothing like motherhood to change anything about us that needs to be changed.
At least, that’s how it’s been on my motherhood journey. I set out to make a home, to grow a family, and to help my children reach their potential.
The most amazing thing is that while I was helping them reach theirs, God was helping me reach mine.
Be sure to hug a mother today!

Quote of the day

"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."

- H.G. Wells

Epiphany - Schmiphany

As I stood at a checkout of a well-known surf shop this afternoon I had an epiphany! YES an epiphany :)

I realised that for the majority of my life I have tried to define myself by what I own and how I present myself in society. Instead of putting my time and energy into working on my character and who I am in Christ, I've been trying to keep up appearances...though it wouldn't seem so these days!

As Russ and I wandered through the shops today (a rare occurrence these days) to grab a present for someone, we were talking about how hard it is these days to find and maintain our identity.

You may not believe it, but once upon a time, I had style! Some may not agree, but I put my own stamp on whatever I wore. I had a unique style and it wasn't uncommon to spend most of my weekly pay on maintaining that style, that identity. Now we are in a place where I haven't bought anything new or nice in a VERY long time. Most of what I wear these days are practical...not trendy. And I am finding myself feeling lost. I feel that I have lost a part of me.

When I walked into 'Live' today I just wanted to sink into the floor. They had some jeans on sale which Russ suggested I try on. My current jeans...I somehow managed to break the button. It's sort of there but only half there so I can't put it in the button hole...can't remember how it happened, but I currently have to wear a belt to hold my pants up! So, anyway, Russ wanted me to look at these ridiculously cheap jeans. When I walked in I suddenly became very aware of myself. I'm not wearing anything nice, my hair has regrowth the length of a giraffes neck, no makeup, and remnants of pumpkin spew on my shoulder. They had those horrible lights in the changerooms that show EVERY flaw. I felt like I had no right to shop in such a trendy store. I left feeling even more lost and even more ugly than before.

Anyway...that's not what this post is about. But I guess why I wanted to post was because of my epiphany. I'm tired of chasing the unattainable. I am slowly realising that there is more to this life than what I look like. I want to start living my own life. I want to work on my character, who I am in Christ.

It's easier said than done though. It's easier to say that I will work on developing who I am (at heart) rather than who I appear to be. I wish I could be the 'yummy mummy' that society expects of young mothers these days. I wish we had the money to keep up appearances. Russ could keep getting his music and I could keep my style...my identity, who I, who we are.

I guess it's going to be a long journey. One that I hope I will come out of better off. Knowing who I am and finding my identity in Christ. That no matter what I wear, what sort of house we live in, what my children wear (as long as it's something) that He accepts us as we are. That He loves me and that I can be worth more than the clothes on my back.

So, I don't know what I've come to after all that. It is really late and I should be in bed, but I'm watching the 'living with Michael Jackson' and I must admit I'm a little hooked...talk about an identity crisis!!

4 years on...

It would seem my husband beat me to posting anything today!!

www.mybeautifulbek.blogspot.com

My precious Niece Kajah Jade (pron Kya)

Having a cuddle with my favourite niece :)

Look at all her hair!!

Eme starting to get a little jealous...no joke...she chucked a huge hissy fit just after this photo!!

How handsome is he??!! VERY!!

Trying to capture all her hair in the photo...though I missed about 3/4's of it!! There's SO much

Cute as a button!

I'm an Auntie again!!!

Welcome to the world little Kajah Jade :)
Born 11.30pm 5th of June weighing in at 7lb 14oz (Emery still holds the title for biggest bub in this family - go Eme!)

She has jet black hair like her mumma and Kate looks as though she just went for a walk through the park! Even though it was roughly 2days she labored for! Ah, the gift of the young!

Anyway...I'm off to buy ribbons and bows and all things PINK then I shall be visiting our precious petal this afternoon.

Looks like both Sarah and I were wrong!! However, I did guess girl :) I at least got that right!

Adios!

Repair the past with Forgiveness

By Rob Furlong
Challenge Newspaper April 2009

Forgiveness frequently comes up in the news — whether it be another story about innocent people being killed in an overseas conflict or family members grappling with the devastating loss of a son or daughter in a car accident that was not their fault. Whatever the situation, at some point the people involved will face the issue of whether or not they will forgive the perpetrator of the crime.

Forgiveness is also a very real issue in marriage. The health of a couple’s relationship can often be determined by the willingness (or unwillingness) of a husband and wife’s readiness to forgive each other.

I have talked with many couples over the years and I never stop being amazed at the way in which people hang on to things that they did to each other years and years ago and the overwhelming pettiness of it all. “She did this…” “He always forgot…” “I never do that…” On and on it goes.

At the risk of being misunderstood, let me stress that I am not saying that their hurts (or yours) are insignificant and that they should be simply glossed over. All I just want to point out is that, at some point in the relationship, someone has to have the guts to forgive the other person. If this does not happen then the couple is either headed for the divorce court or they will simply learn to co-exist under the same roof in a permanent state of “Cold War”.

Gordon MacDonald in his book “A Resilient Life” writes persuasively about the importance of regularly practising forgiveness in our relationships. He uses a term to describe forgiveness that I find refreshing. He calls it “repairing the past”. If you think about it, that is precisely what we do when we forgive someone: we repair the wrong and the relationship.

In taking this step, I want to be very clear that forgiveness does not come cheaply. In marriage, for example, there should be a genuine acknowledgement by one party that what they did was hurtful and also a sincere commitment by them to change their behaviour. And the other person, then, freely forgives the guilty person from the heart.

I am not suggesting that I don’t struggle with forgiveness either; believe me, I have my moments! But throughout our marriage, Karen and I have regularly practised the discipline of forgiving each other. We have used simple words too. One of us will say, “I’m sorry for…I will change…” and then the other will say, “I forgive you.” (And mean it!)

You may think it sounds childish and perhaps the whole idea of actually saying the words “I forgive you” makes you feel awkward (it does!), but it has contributed to both of us keeping short accounts with each other and not allowing petty resentments to build up that over time would undermine our relationship.

On a gloomy Friday afternoon, with His life ebbing away and surrounded by a jeering, hate-filled mob of accusers spitting and cursing at Him, Jesus uttered some astounding words: “Father forgive them…” In that awful, dreadful moment, He was still able to forgive. This is the essence of the what He did on the cross: to purchase our forgiveness. And it challenges us to forgive also. And when we forgive, we repair the past.

May your Easter be blessed, and your marriage, as you receive and give forgiveness.

Baby Guess-a-thon

My little sister is due in roughly 2 weeks. Her first little baby...

I'm so excited!!

How bout we have a guess-a-thon? I kinda ran outta time to do one for myself before Eme was born...either that or I was just too lazy hehehehe

Anyway...here is my guess for Kate:

Date: 6th June (she is due the 4th)
Time: 2.36am
Sex: Girl
Weight: 8lb 2oz
Length: 51cm

So...in the comment section, leave your guesses!

25 Things By Russell

Things I love about bek (a b'day present)

1. Your crazy morning hair
2. How dedicated you are to being a mum
3. How you build me up as a man
4. The way you cry when your angry
5. Your cute lil ears
6. The way you love me even when I don't deserve it
7. The crazy noises you make for Eme
8. The fact you gave birth to our child - that you went through all that pain
9. That sexy butt of yours
10. How you listen to Disney music and Hardcore music
11. The way you make meatballs
12. The silly dances you do
13. The lil songs you sing to Eme - they help create memories
14. Those beautiful blue eyes
15. Your style thats so 'you'
16. How impulsive you are even when I say it's frustrating
17. How passionate you get about things that you can't sit by and do nothing
18. Your cute little nose
19. How loyal you are to those you love
20. The face you pull when your not happy with me - it's scary but I still love it
21. Your tiny but very seductive lips
22. (cannot be repeated in public)
23. That you're my best friend and I get to spend this life with you
24. Those long Irish Dancing legs of yours
25. That YOU chose ME! I love you!!

My legacy

What an interesting week it's been!

I turned a quarter of a century...yes I'm officially in my 'mid-twenties'.

And a good family friend passed away.

We attended his funeral yesterday and it has really messed with me. As I sat there, looking at the 4 young men and his wife he has left behind I really started to question God. Why did he allow this? He was still young and it doesn't seem fair?

I then started thinking about what will people say at my funeral? We all have to leave this life one day. Death is a fact of life. But, what have I done with my life that is of worth? Have I served God to the best of my ability or do I just keep wasting each and every day away?

I also had a few doubts about heaven and afterlife I guess. Not that I doubt there is a God, but the afterlife is such a unfathomable subject. We cannot comprehend what heaven is like...

It got me thinking about my life and what I'm doing with it. Most the time I am just going day by day and doing nothing. I got a new resolve yesterday though. I want to be known to have loved greatly. To have loved and raised my children to grow up and serve our God. To have not wasted my time here and that I served God and placed him first in my life.

I said to Russell last night that all I can think that he would say at my funeral is that I thought farts were hilarious. Not much of a legacy if you ask me.

In the past couple of months I've been thinking about my future, job wise. Since I was 5 all I have ever wanted to do is midwifery. However, I have never chased after it because I am held back by fear. Fear that I'm not good enough, smart enough, committed enough. I've always put my wants and needs first rather than consulting God and praying about it. This year though I have been seriously praying about it, and I feel God is leading me onto further studies. Curtin University offers a course which is 3yrs long. It is an undergraduate Bachelor of Science (Midwifery). Have theory have practical. It sounds like the perfect course for me. They only have intakes once a year, so I've missed this year. But that means I have until November to sort myself out and to keep praying about it. And YOU at home have until then to pray for me.

If I don't get accepted into this course, I will apply to a couple of Uni's to do Nursing for 3yrs and then I would have to do an additional year specialising in Midwifery.

Anyway...that's only one of the things I've been thinking about since the funeral yesterday. I just kept dreaming last night about death and what I'm doing with my life.

I just feel like I've had 25yrs already, and I have done nothing. Would people come to my funeral? Would they say 'yeah, she was ahhhlright.' or would they say that she was a woman of worth, a loving wife, mother and committed to her Saviour and that she lived a transparent life?

Anyway, there's just so many things going through my head at the moment I kind of have made a mess of this post.

I guess I am wondering if people have thought about what they would want people to say at their funeral? Have you thought about it? Has it changed how you live your day to day life?

All my prayers are with the H. family as they have been the last 7mths. Thankyou for all your hospitality and love you have shown myself and my family over the last 15yrs. xoxoxoxo