Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe...for now...
27.4.07
Cat/Dog Diaries
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8 comments:
Haha I had to laugh at some of the cat stuff, it is sooo Ebony. She is such a complex creature :)
thats is so flipping hilarious, i LOVE it!!!
ps where did you get it? is there more? someone could SO make a series out of the cat one!
unfortunately that was emailed to me, so I dont know where they got it from. it would be great to see it turn into a series!
I was laughing out loud at work, you can just imagine the cat writing it too!
sarah, your an a writer..get onto it:D
Yeah Sarah!! Stretch those creative muscles...im sure youd do a great job!!
I look forward to the next chapter :)
Ah, now I've got two people on my back I have no choice ;) I'll see what I can come up with, I have a few ideas. Watch my blog!
That is a fantastic post Bek, I really enjoyed reading it, I think cat definately think at a different level as other creatures:)
Yea have a go sarah!
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