19.5.08

An edited version

I posted a post last week and have since edited it. I did not want to take it down as I feel the post was quite important.

I have left the parts in the post that I feel is what the whole post was about. I apologise to those who were hurt by my original post and hope that they can offer me their forgiveness and grace. I did not write anything out of spite and if I wanted to have a go at anyone in particular, trust me, you would've known about it.

Anyway, this is my post and I hope people can see where I am coming from and understand the pain I have for a few women that I have met these past couple of months and I'm sure the women I will meet in the future.

I had a friend yesterday at work come and share with me that she had a miscarriage last week. No one else in the office knows and she wants it to stay that way. Her little one was 6 weeks when it’s heart stopped beating, but her body continued the pregnancy till 10 weeks when they found the baby had died. She had to have it removed. She was still having all the symptoms, morning sickness included.

My heart absolutely broke for this girl (lady…woman…). All I could do was give her a hug and pray my phone didn’t ring so I could give her all my attention. God blessed me with 40mins at my desk where the phone didn’t ring once. I was able to hear this girls story, she was able to ask questions and we were able to identify with each other.I had the opportunity a couple of weeks ago to speak to another young lady who had an ectopic pregnancy. And my heart is continually breaking for these women. It was ok for me to go through it, but not them. I would take their pain and hurts as my own if I could. I would go through it again if it meant they didn’t have to!

I think the hardest thing about talking to this girl at work was the fact that I know she doesn’t have Christ. She doesn’t have a faith to cling to when things go bad. She doesn’t have a comfort knowing that her baby is in God’s hands now, and that her future is in his hands too. I just pray that I can possibly bring a bit of that faith to her life. That’s the only reason I believe that God has allowed all of this to happen.

I cried all night last night. I cried myself to sleep. I cried for the baby that has just been lost and for the pain that these girls have been going through. I cried because of the lack of compassion for these women, the lack of sensitivity shown. I cried because I am not strong enough to confront people when they do this and that I just write about it on my blog! I cried because…heck…I’m pregnant and I felt like crying!

One thing the girl who spoke to me yesterday said that has stuck in my head was:

“I am the happiest person here because you have given me hope.”

I’m not worthy of it, and I just hope that I can in-still in her the hope that Christ brings. The hope that he is holding her little one safe in his hands.There are so many people out there who may never have kids, are on their last egg from IVF hoping that this will be the one, that have lost so many babies it just hurts too much to continue trying, and there is nothing I can do about it.

All I can do is offer God my prayers and my burdens and leave them with him. I hope that anyone who reads this will also pray for the lost and the lonely, and for those who are so desperate for God but just don't know it yet! Whether you can fully understand or comprehend what someone is going through, God knows and I'm sure he still appreciates the prayers.

1 comment:

Dodgy Pete said...

Well said bek, like you said at the end, it doesn't really matter whether we fully understand or comprehend what someone is going through. The important thing is that we are loving and compassionate and are willing to be loving even when we don't understand.

I don't think I'll ever really understand pregnancy and miscarriage, or understand what it means to a woman, but I can still work on the compassion and love.

:)