The first 6 months isn't always what its cracked up to be

Now this whole post may sound very contradicting to my last post…but there is a method to this madness!

In my last post I was talking about the fact that no matter how long you’ve been married the honeymoon doesn’t have to end.

I hope I don’t freak people out with this post, but when Russ and I got married we thought everything would be hunky dory. We heard all the lovey dovey stories and couldn’t wait till we got to spend the rest of our lives together. We’re still glad that we get to spend our lives together, but what we didn’t expect were the adjustments we both had to make. During marriage counselling and through talking to other young ‘marrieds’ we never heard once about the fights and the adjusting, oh no, they decided to tell us this after, and only when we brought up the fact that we had been fighting so much with close friends did we realise that it happens to everyone!

We were expecting everything to be roses at least for the first 6 months and then we expected to actually put work and effort into the marriage (doesn’t mean the honeymoons over!). Boy were we wrong! I have never fought with someone so much! We were arguing over the most silly things, such silly things that we couldn’t remember what we fighting about 1hr later!

One arvo things got particularly heated and I decided to grab Russell’s car keys (Ford EA Falcon Wagon – these things are huge) and go for a drive. I stormed out to the car, reversed out of the garage onto the driveway when Russell came out and sat on the bonnet of the car thinking I wouldn’t leave. He was silly enough to think that that would stop me! Heh was he wrong. Whilst he was sitting on the bonnet smirking to himself, I accelerated quickly forward which knocked him into the window, then quickly reversed as fast as I could which rolled him off the car. He wasn’t happy and as I proceeded down the street victorious, he gave me a lovely couple of finger signs for all the neighbours to see. When I came back I apologised for trying to kill him and was well again…for the next few hours at least.

Through all the slamming walls and yelling matches we had we made it through unscathed. We grew during this time and became closer and are now experts at sorting out ‘disagreements’, even if we still stuff up on a regular basis.

I guess I just wanted to share our experience of our first 6 months because no-one shared with us. It is a huge adjustment and no-one ever mentions it! Even though logically you know that you are moving in with a new person and that you each do things differently, I don’t think it really hits home till its too late. I wish people had of told us the reality of the situation we were stepping into. Instead of only talking about the fantastic times, share the rough times too. This doesn’t mean you have to tell everybody if your not comfortable, but at least tell those you are close to who may be going through the same thing. We constantly talk about being a community (in the church circles anyway) but we are all so closed off to each other its not funny.

I want to encourage people. Single people, dating people, engaged people, married people. Its not all doom and gloom, but its not always what its cracked up to be. The grass is always greener. Whether your single or married, not that I don’t love being married, but some days I look back at things I wish I could have done while I was single – but anyway, life is short. Enjoy the moment your in now. Rejoice in the stage of life your at. God has it all under control, its hard to trust that I know!

A specific note to any engaged people out there. HAVE FUN! If you find yourself getting sick of fighting (once married) try to take a step back, breathe, and have fun sorting things out! It will get better! I promise! Plus its all worth it in the end. I just don’t want you to have a nasty surprise and get depressed and think you’re the only couple going through this. Have fun on your wedding day and have fun learning to live with each other!!