Losing Hope?

By Rob Furlong
Challenge Newspaper March 2008

What causes a person to lose hope? I think we lose hope when the circumstances we find ourselves in are so overwhelming that we cannot see any possible way in which they can be changed for the better.

Over the years, I have spoken to many couples who have lost all hope that their relationship will ever change and they have died on the inside, as the below quote suggests:

“We did not dare to breathe a prayer,
Or give our anguish scope.
Something was dead within each of us,
And what was dead was Hope.”

It wasn’t like that when they walked down the aisle! Deeply in love, they exchanged their vows and then launched out into their new life together, alive with possibilities! A few years down the track, children began to arrive and their relationship took on a new dimension — now there were others to think of beyond themselves — and thus began the challenging and demanding task of raising a family. She was a stay-at-home Mum who put her career on hold; he found he had to work extra hours just to make ends meet. Somewhere along the line they stopped having time for each other. Life simply became an endless round of trying to get through the day and then collapsing into bed, exhausted, each night. Their arguments became more frequent. “You don’t understand me!” she cried. “You don’t listen!” was his retort. Finally, they ended up in a counsellor’s office seeking help… but the hope that things could change was long gone.

Perhaps you can relate to this, perhaps not. One thing I do know is this: whether we rate our marriage as either happy, good or bad, many of us never gave any thought at all as to what kind of a foundation we wanted to build our marriages on. I was reminded of this through a book I was reading today. Speaking from his own experience, the author pointed out how when he and his wife were married, they had absolutely no idea what goals or aims they wanted for their relationship. This typifies many, many couples today, whether married for many years or newlyweds.

Imagine building a house without any foundations! With a bit of luck it may stay up for awhile, but when the first major storm hits it, your dream home will be nothing more than a pile of ruins. It’s the same with marriage. If you have no foundation that you are building on then no wonder the relationship gets shaky when life throws its problems at the two of you. And the shakier it becomes, the more likely you are to lose hope.

Solomon wisely said, “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labour in vain.” (Psalm chapter 127, verse 1). He was talking about the house of your life, whether it be career, family or marriage. If God isn’t the foundation and builder of it, then all your work is in vain.
It has been said that we can live 40 days without food, 8 days without water, 4 minutes without air, but only a few seconds without hope. Perhaps you find yourself losing hope in your marriage right now. Easter is all about hope. The utter despair experienced through Jesus’ death on Good Friday turned into unbridled joy when He was raised to life three days later. The hope that had died now lived again.

This same Jesus will change your life and circumstances if you reach out to Him. Why not write to the Editor of this paper and ask for more information about becoming a Christian, or attend a church this Easter where Jesus is proclaimed and find out more for yourself? Reach out to Jesus this Easter and let Him re-kindle your hope!