She's a working class Muuuuuum!!!!

I thought I would let you know what I had decided to do about work and where my convictions lay with mums v staying at home.

I was brought up with my mum at home all day every day. It wasn’t until we were all in school (2 in high school) that mum started to do a little part-time work. Even then, it was mainly Thurs nights and Saturdays that she worked.

We would come home from school to fruit plates or biscuits and sometimes every now and then caramel popcorn! That was a HUGE treat though…so didn’t happen very often.

That wasn’t the only thing that was good about mum being at home though. I was raised by a mum who included me in what she was doing every day. Before I went to school I desperately wanted to be Cinderella. I wanted to wear the apron and little slip on shoes and scrub and clean. Have I mentioned before that I might be a little deranged?

Anyway, my mum made me a little apron and I used to beg for a bucket of soapy water and a scrub brush so that I could scrub the tiles in our house. I would do the dishes and every now and then ask dad to put on some Michael Bolton (whom I still love today) to sing to as I cleaned. Dad’s response was always “Cinderella’s don’t get music to work to!” – but he always put it on for me anyway.

Mum also involved me in cooking. She taught me from a very young age some of the basics in the kitchen. I was allowed to help make dinner or snacks and she never took over because I wasn’t doing it right. The one thing she forgot to teach me was how to make instant coffee. Her and dad just about bounced off the walls after one sip one morning I decided to make them a coffee!!

She taught me how to sew and spent time with me whenever I had questions about anything.

This was never forced on me though. This was where my interests lay and I wanted to be like her, so she took the time to teach me the things she knew.

I grew up learning the basics in the kitchen and some basics in other domestic duties. I’m still learning a lot of stuff today, but mum is always just a phone call away.

Being in a family of a pastor is tough, being the wife of one is even tougher. I grew up witnessing mum being a support for dad and a loving wife.

Pastors get paid crap all. Yet my mum stayed home and raised all 4 of us – with the help of dad of course! God always looked after us and I know that while we may have ‘missed out’ on some of the material things this world has to offer, what I have learnt from my family doesn’t even compare. We are close and are a tight family unit – without being oppressive (if that makes sense). We are close and have tight family values.

Now, it’s not just because my mum was a stay at home mum that I believe our family is this way, but I do believe that staying at home and being able to raise your kids has huge benefits.

Russell and I are not ‘well off’. Russell still works part-time (3 days a week) while I earn about 2/3rds of our income. I have been blessed with a job that is flexible and pays well and looks after their employees. My boss is huge on the family unit and is extremely supportive of Russ and I having our own family. My job covers the mortgage and most bills and Russ’s is good for the extra things that happen in life, like cars blowing up and bills.

With me taking maternity leave – our income is going to suffer massively. We are going to be living the most simplistically we ever have.

I don’t see the point in having a child and not being home to raise it and spend time with it. Babies are little for such a short period of time and I don’t want to miss out on any of it!

We can’t afford for me to not work completely though (unless something miraculous happens in the next couple of months). I am taking 6mths maternity leave (I get half of my normal wage for the full 6mths) and then returning to work 2 days a week.

These 2 days won’t bring much income in, but hopefully it will be just enough! I just cannot justify putting our mortgage over raising our children.

The other lady I work with who is due today/tomorrow (do you realise this was when our 1st baby was due?) is taking her 6mths maternity leave and then returning to work full time. I was chatting to her about it because she is a Christian and I felt comfortable confronting her on stuff. She said that her husband doesn’t earn a minimum of $100k a year and so she needs to return full time. I just about died when I heard that as I thought to myself, Russell doesn’t even earn $30k a year!! What the heck are we going to do?

She said they couldn’t afford for her to stay home (as much as she desperately wants to) because their expenses far outweigh income. To me I would be looking at why you are living beyond your means before returning to work and make a few sacrifices. BUT it’s not my life and they are free to live theirs as they please.

I don’t care about our house. While I am thankful that we have it and that we were in a position to buy it, I just can’t place it over our children. If we get to a point where we either sell or I go back to work, we will sell the house and find somewhere to rent.

We have started putting a few things in place such as a massive veggie patch. This is going to take a lot of hard work and energy, but the benefits are going to have a huge impact. It may not seem like much, but with the price of groceries today, every bit helps.

We have already started a refreshed budget for when the baby is here, and we haven’t actually bought anything for the baby yet! We are waiting to see what family have bought us (they have already bought a few things) to see what we will need to get. We don’t want to buy an excess amount of clothes or toys and are hoping to have minimal amounts of this sort of stuff. Plus, I am part of our local Freecycle group (have been for a few months) and have already been given a few things for the baby so far! It really is a great network and I encourage you all to look into your local community for your own Freecycle. It’s also a great way to get to know people who live in your area as you meet the needs that each other have! (reminds me of something I read in Acts 2 this week!)

I know some people won’t agree with me, and that’s fine! I’m not here to judge whether you yourself should be working or staying home with your kids, but this is my conviction. If Russ gets into a position where I don’t need to work my 2 days a week, then I will stop working and stay at home full time. I have no doubt that God is going to look after us. He always has and I have seen him move in miraculous ways before! We are both trusting God in this uncertain time and while I am still worried that we may be homeless by the end of this year, it doesn’t compare to what we will have in our arms. A new little Ingram. Our own family. And a God that never forgets and never abandons, and nothing can take that away.

I don't think this post ended up being what I intended it on being about - so I'm sorry! But the main point is...I'm working 2 days a week after having the baby, and trusting that God will look after both Russ & I - which I have no doubt he will!