When I was about 5 I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I was going to be a midwife. All through my childhood I wanted to deliver babies...I even remember asking my mum if there was such a job.
My life however, seems to have gone down an entirely different track. It has gone down paths that I rather it hadn't and now I find myself stuck in an office job, encouraging consumerism. I work in Finance (yuck) and help finance businesses to buy stuff. Yes, it helps their business and generate income, but I can't stand the main drive of what I do, to make more profit for this bank and to put people into debt. A couple of hundred $k don't really mean anything. That used to mean big money to me, but now it is just a number, and I don't look at the person, I look at the dollar sign and our budget for the month.
Moving on, didn't mean to bore you with some of the logistics of what I do.
What I want to do, and what I have always wanted to do, I am not doing!
In the last 6 or so months I have felt my heart pulling me to going back to some sort of studies. When I was originally at Uni I was studying to be a Journalist. Still not studying what I really wanted to do. I did Journalism because I was told that I was a good writer. It was amazing that I got into the course considering I didn't do my TEE. The only TEE subject I did at school was English, and my marks were good enough in that one subject alone (I have to boast, it's the one good thing I've done) to get me into a bridging course at Uni and then onto Journalism.
I soon left my course - never to return - a huge horror to my parents and I still remember crying in their room telling them that I didn't want to do it, and seeing the disappointment in my dad's eyes. I follow after my dad and he is a fantastic teacher and 'english' person...he is a good writer and speaker, and I take after his footsteps, and when I left Uni I felt that I had let him down enormously. I had to leave though, I was feeling choked and I just wanted to get out.
I worked in numerous cafes and eventually landed a job at the bank as a teller. After only 3 months I was blessed to land the job I am currently in. I came up to my office for a couple days relief work and they offered me a job a couple of weeks later. This was one of those situations where God truly had his hand on all the finer details. I could not have got this job on my own.
I am skilled where I am. I have learnt so much in this role and I really have a wide knowledge in my specialised area.
Yet, I'm still not happy. I never chose to pursue a career in Finance. It just landed in my lap. I don't like coming to work everyday and I am struggling to find my purpose in life.
It was when I started to remember the dreams I had as a little girl, and I started to remember all the different nudgings I have had from God throughout the years, that I started to contemplate going back to Uni.
There are some obstacles however. I cannot simply up and leave my job or we will lose the house and all sources of income.
Russell is still studying...and who knows how many more years that is going to take.
We are still trying for kids...if I start, will I ever finish the degree if kids come along?
The cost of each unit.
Then, the other night I was watching some t.v. and an add came on for studying at Uni online. You may have seen it?
It came up with a web address and the next day I had a little squiz.
I could study my bachelor in nursing online through the University of South Australia. I can study part-time or full-time. In my circumstance it would have to be part-time.
One unit a trimester. I can handle that can't I?
This morning as I was walking to work I decided to try not to figure too much out. If this is what God is wanting me to do, then it will all fall into place. There are a few things I need to do though:
- Gain my Senior First Aid Certificate
- Gain a National Police Clearance
- Get a needle for Hep B
- Get a needle for Tuberculosis
- Apply for Fee Assistance and see if I am eligible
I need to do all this before Feb the 15th. This is the last day for enrolments. I have 3 weeks to decided whether to throw myself into this, or to give up the dream.
I am posting about this because I need your prayers. Please pray that if this is truly what God wants me to do, then I won't be lazy and leave things at the last minute. Pray that I feel God's direction in my life, pray that if it's not what God wants me to do that I will feel a peace about it.
This is a bit of a scary thing to contemplate and I have no idea what direction God is taking me/us down.
I will keep you updated as this story unfolds...if this is just a phase, pray it will soon pass :)
2 comments:
Wow! That'd be exciting!!
I reckon ambitions are the hardest things to know what to do with. I've always wanted to be a writer/actor but sometimes I feel bad for wanting this and that perhaps I should be aiming to be a missionary in deepest darkest Africa. Not that I haven't considered that either but I've found that when I've told some Christians that I want to write a book or act, they've looked at me like I'm selfish and wanting to be the next Julia Roberts, be filthy rich etc which isn't the case.
You're bound to get a lot more encouragement as a nurse/midwife. It'd be great to do such a worthwhile job; I can't cos I get grossed out and couldn't handle the stress.
Maybe it's about doing whatever we do for God's glory?
I agree with Sarah...I love performing but yeh to say to some Christians that you'd like to do that as a career does make u feel like you're being self-centred. But back to Bek! I hope it all works out and that you get to be a nurse, but I'll keep you in my prayers that God will have His way.
Luv u!
Elise
Post a Comment