Updated tummy pics

33.1 wks!

What a difference 6 weeks makes!! And to think I still have another 7 to go!!

Baby Room pics

What we spent our long weekend doing

Russ trying to put the cot together

A tad confused - I think he was thinking "instead of taking millions of shots, how bout you come over here and help me!!!!"

Yay! It's done! The cot and little Noah's Ark toychest

Chest of drawers and change table with the cot.

It's all starting to slowly come together!!

A few randoms

A couple of my favourite jumpsuits that have been given to us as gifts

This one is from Dodgy Pete & Bec (plus a few other girls from our old church)
I LOVE it

The back....very appropriate for any child of mine!

A nice view from Jet.

Jet the dero

The cake I made for Father's Day - that Russ was too sick to eat!

This was the 'creamy cake' that I made for both dads and for my man who is soon to be a dad!

Parties Galore

Here are some pics from the weekend and also from Jos' 21st party a couple weekends ago!

Russ in his 'Juno' getup

His sexy short shorts - it was quite funny, he sat with his legs together the entire night!

Me as 'Juno' - trying to pull an unimpressed face!

We got a runners up prize for best couple - apparently because our costume was 9mths in the making!

The b'day girls with their mum.

Very left is Claire (minnie mouse) and the very right is her twin Amanda (lady bug from 'A bugs life')

Two good friends. They went to school with Russ and we still get to catch up with them on a regular basis.

Sarah and Evan...aka Belle & Beast

Dorothy became a werewolf!!

Cocktail attire for Jos' par-tay

Very rare to see Russ in a tie

The cocktail bar - and no mum wasn't making an order.

They had 400 balloons hanging in their ceiling in the kitchen! It was very cool!

What happens when dad gets bored at a 21st

He then adds hair, shoes and I don't know if it's pubic hair or a loin cloth!

Stop Choking - Aussie Style

A woman sitting in an Adelaide Pub suddenly began to cough.

After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals, Bluey and Bazza sitting at the next table turned to look at her.

Ken ya swaller? asked Bluey

The woman signalled 'No!', desperately shaking her head.

Kin ya breathe?' asked Bazza.

The woman shook her head No!!!

With that, Bluey walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her arse.

This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.

Bluey swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer.

Bazza said in admiration 'Ya know Bluey, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it.'

Bill to allow dumped baby 'safe havens'

Neglectful parents would be allowed to abandon their unwanted babies at designated "safe havens" - no questions asked - under laws proposed by a Rudd government backbencher.

Tasmanian senator Helen Polley has written to federal and state attorneys-general to press for the laws, and is expecting a response soon.

Under the laws, parents could leave their babies at a haven - such as a police station or community centre - without having to give information about themselves or the baby. These parents could not be charged with criminal abandonment.

Approximately 10 babies are abandoned by their parents in Australia every year, and Senator Polley said it was time to do something about it.

Read the full article

Now, I don't know how I completely feel about this.

While I can see where Senator Polley is coming from, it still doesn't sit quite right with me.

Has anyone seen the show 'Find my Family'? I think I cry every time I watch it! There was one particular story that struck me the most. A young girl about 16 was pregnant and gave up her son for adoption at the hospital. I got the impression that it was forced upon her and she didn't want to do it. She talked about how while she was in the hospital she just cuddled and kissed and spent as much time as possible with him. I was a babbling mess watching that episode! I know it's a different situation, but it still plays a part. I'm sure any mother that gives up her child, adoption or 'dumping, will think about that child for the next few decades to come! How could you not?

Even if these babies were saved through the 'safe havens' - they may physically be ok, but what about the irrepairable damage of being 'dumped'.
But I also get the point of wanting to save babies being dumped in bins and left to die.

So, what are your thoughts?

*ugh*

bub-o-luv has the hiccups again

starting to drive me nutso again

Fridays Costumes

Yesterday I had an RDO and wasn't able to check my blog for any costume suggestions. It was also yesterday that I realised that the party was Fri. night and yesterday was my only day to do some shopping for a costume.

So, I've had to go with the 'Juno' idea *sigh*

While I absolutely LOVED Jen's idea of Pacha and his pregnant wife from The Emperor's New Groove (I love that movie) we can't afford to hire costumes, so I've had to go el-cheapo and grab some op-shop stuff.

For me, I already have a black jacket, jeans and shoes. I managed to grab a skirt from an op-shop that looks almost identical to the skirt on the dvd...the only shirt I could find that is even remotely close to that one is a yellow and grey striped shirt....close enough in my books!! Since I don't need much makeup and hair done, I'm all set.

Russ' costume is the fun part of this duo though! He already has the sneakers and knee-high socks we just needed a top, shorts and sweatbands. I managed to find an old school marone jacket with yellow stipes on the sleeves and around the neckline, and after searching in about 10 different op-shops, I managed to find 1 pair of bright yellow boardshorts (chick ones of course!) I will need to cut them to a shorter length and sew the edge (so it doesn't frey) and he will be all set. He will just pick up some sweat bands from Target/Kmart tomorrow....and he's all set!!

I can't wait to see him in the short shorts....and don't worry, I will definately get photos of that!!

The baby shower that wasn't supposed to shower!

We had our baby shower/bbq yesterday and it went better than I expected!

I was really stressed on Friday about having to change locations and change the style of the party, but it still went ok.

Sarah is going to kill me, but I actually didn’t get any photos! I just didn’t have time! There were so many people to talk to that I didn’t even get around to 2 of the tables! I felt soooooo bad. The one thing I hate is inviting people to a party and then not getting to spend time with them!

I would make my way over to chat to people and then get called away by someone else. So I don’t think I actually got to finish any conversations with anyone, I was constantly interrupted!

We still had the bbq (the sun came out!!!) and we just had a couple of tables and chairs set out and people just sat around and ate.

We played a game where people had to measure out some string to the size they thought my belly was….it was funny to see some people’s perceptions! My mum was adamant she would get it perfect and she was about 1cm off. 2 other people beat her and she was quite upset actually…she wanted a re-size :)

We also handed out cards for people to fill in and guess the size, eye colour, weight, date it would arrive, etc. They also got to pick what the name would be. This was quite fun to read through last night and look at all the answers.

Some names we got were Gertrude, Calin (from Middo) and a few other randoms!

I will have to post a few I think, they were great! Including the guess from our pastor who thought the baby would come Oct 7th – he thought we were due Oct instead of Nov!!

Most people guessed we would come early and the baby would be between 5 and 6lb. Please God!

Anyway…it was a fantastic arvo and we were amazingly blessed by people’s company and to see the support that we have in friends. A few people didn’t come who said they were coming, and you can’t help but be disappointed, but I didn’t let it ruin the arvo.

A massive thankyou has to go to my two best buddies, Jodie & Fi who organised the day and help set everything up. They both did an amazing job, and things happened without me having to worry about them! Things just magically came out on the food table, and things were tidied up and cleaned before I got a chance to have a look around at what needed doing! They blessed us with so much. Their time, energy, money and gifts. I am so thankful to God for these 2 women who have looked after me for many years and who I hope will be close friends for many more to come!

Thanks to everyone who came, it was awesome to see you all! Hopefully we will get to see you again before the baby comes…whenever that may be!!

I need your help

We have been invited to a costume party this Friday night.

The theme is movie characters....now being pregnant I am finding myself a little limited.

The only suggestion I've been given is 'Juno'.

I'm putting it out to you all in the blogging community to give me some ideas!! I need some real brainwaves here people!! Give me your ideas and thoughts and I will pick the best one!

I will definately take photos and if you can possibly think of a couple that would be great...Russ needs to wear something too you know!!

I will post about the baby shower soon :)

I have to be honest

I don't think the baby in that baby ticker countdown (in the sidebar) thing is very cute.

It looks a little scary to me....I hope ours is a little better looking!

More than a little stressed

Our baby shower is happening this weekend. Or so I hope!

We had planned a picnic at a local park and were going to setup some cricket, footy and bocce. However the forecast for Sunday keeps changing! One minute it's going to be fine, the next they reckon raining all day!

We had to make a call and decided to relocate the party to the back hall at my dad's church. Thing is, it kinda ruins the whole idea of what we were wanting. We wanted to have the party at a park because it is kid friendly, people can laze around and just relax. But now, we are going to have to be crammed into a hall with nothing to do!

I can feel the stress levels rising already.

Now I'm having people saying they won't come because we've relocated it! But we've only moved it 10mins down the road!!!! It's still the same time and everything, but it's now just 10mins closer/further than the park!!! I don't get it. Just makes me feel like people are looking for an excuse not to come, and I'm really disappointed that it's kinda all going to crap. We are going to lose the whole feel of what we were wanting and now it just feels like it's just going to turn into another boring party with nothing to do. Which is exactly what we didn't want. We wanted to be able to lazely walk around to people's picnic rugs and chat and catch up and spend time with the kids coming and to play a little sport...now it's all going to be crap...I can feel it.

And now, looking outside the freakin sun is coming out! AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

Fathers needed more than ever

By Rob Furlong
Challenge Newspaper Sept 2008

When you think of world champion sprinters, it is fairly safe to say that your mind will not automatically go to Derek Redmond. You are far more likely to think of Carl Lewis or Asafa Powell or Usain Bolt… but not Derek Redmond. And yet, Derek Redmond has a very special place in history. Born in England in 1965, by the time he was 19, Derek had broken the British record for the 400 metres and during his career he won gold medals in the 4x400 metres relay at the World Championships, European Championships and at the Commonwealth Games. A favourite for the 400 metres at the Seoul Olympics of 1988 he was forced to withdraw from the opening heat a mere 10 minutes before the race due to an injury to his Achilles tendon. In the ensuing years leading up to the 1992 Olympics he underwent 8 operations and along the way stunned the world at the 1991 World Championships when he and his teammates won gold in the 4x400 metres relay by beating the heavily favoured United States team.

And so we come to Barcelona, Spain and the 1992 Olympics. Redmond is again favourite for the 400 metres and his form in the early rounds is ominously good, running the fastest time in the first round and winning his quarter-final. 65,000 people in the stadium on the day of the 400 metres semi-final watch Redmond race around the track in an effort to seize the lead and secure a place in the final. But as he heads into the back straight, 250 metres from the finish, Redmond is once again let down by his body. As he later describes it, as he entered the straight, he heard a “pop” and thought for one moment that he had been shot. As his leg gave way beneath him, he realized that he had torn his hamstring and that his Olympic dream of a medal was now over. He collapsed onto the track and the medical team rushed over to stretcher him off. It was at this moment that Derek decided that no matter what, he would finish the race, no matter how long it took. The crowd is stunned by his bravery and once they understand the significance of what he is doing, they rose to their feet and cheered him to the finish line with an incredible roar. Redmond later said:

“I wasn’t doing it for the crowd, I was doing it for me… I wanted to finish the race.”

What Derek didn’t realize was that his father, Jim, who had been watching his son in the grandstand had raced down from his seat and then pushed, argued and shoved his way through security and officials to join his son on the track. Drawing alongside his son, 120 metres from the finish line, he placed his arm around his waist and said, “I’m here son, we’ll finish together.” And so Derek and his Dad, arms around each other finish the race with 65,000 people wildly urging them on! At he press conference later that day, Jim Redmond told the world: “I’m the proudest father alive… I’m prouder of him than if he had won the gold medal. It took a lot of guts to do what he did.”

I would add that it also took a lot of guts for Jim Redmond to do what he did — in front of a watching world he unashamedly ran to his son’s side and crossed the finish line with him. It was a demonstration of the heart and love of a father for his child at it’s best. On the day when his dreams literally crashed to the ground, Derek Redmond experienced the love and support of his Dad in a new way.

Dads, despite what our world says, you are needed more than ever. No matter how old or young your kids are, they still need your love, encouragement, support, example and advice. Be there for them! Inject yourself into their lives in meaningful ways. It’s never too late to start. The world may never hear of your love like it did Jim and Derek Redmond’s, but that matters little because the people who need it the most, your family, will and they will thank you for it!

Have a wonderful Father’s Day!!

Haven't heard that one before!!

As I bought my fruit salad at lunch today, the old guy dishing it up for me said

"Oo that's a yummy tummy!"

Then, as I paid for it and headed off he said

"Good job mummy!"

I assume he meant good job for having fruit salad.

What I neglected to tell him was that it was to wash down the left over pizza I had for lunch!!

Class Overview #2

Last night we had our 2nd antenatal class.

Well, if I thought I was going to pass out last week, then this was definately the week to do it!!

The midwife went through just about absolutely every possibility of what can happen during labour. She also got us to pick out what our ideal labour would be. I was the only one in the class who had picked 'no pain killers'...they all probably think I am a little deluded, but I am trying to keep an open mind.

I am also in love with the midwife. I hope she is there when I give birth. She speaks with such passion and amazement even after 20+ years! You can see she obviously loves bringing little ones into the world and she is still amazed by the whole process. She also sounds like she will stick up for you if the doctor starts getting impatient and wanting to start 'cutting things'.

She had the best storey that had my laughing for hours. She was a student nurse and was asked to check if the lady had fully dilated. She checked and said "Yep, she's fully dilated". She also checked to see how far away the head was, she felt around and felt something 'squeegy'. She didn't think much of it at the time as she said some heads feel a little 'squeegy'. She turned around and then next thing you know a leg had popped out!! The poor baby was in a breach position and what she had been feeling was the baby's scrotum!!

I honestly just about pee'd myself laughing. It's the best story I've heard in a long time!


I am actually enjoying the classes and I left last night a little excited. Not excited over the impending pain, but the fact that we will finally at long last be holding this little one! It will all be worth it in the end. That's what I just need to keep reminding myself!!

Next week we have a Physio coming along to help teach us different techniques for dealing with the pain. Should be a little interesting I think...I have a feeling this may be the 'vaseline week'.

What men really mean...

Bec sent me this email today and I thought I would post the one that fits Russell perfectly:


'I CAN'T FIND IT.'

Means: 'It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.'

*sigh*

Any other guys out there like this?

Useless info

Bub-o-luv has had the hiccups the past couple of days. Poor thing, I can feel it's whole body shaking. I hate the hiccups with a passion.

Quote of the day

"The most pleasant and useful persons are those who leave some of the problems of the universe for God to worry about."

- Don Marquis

Nesting

I think I have started ‘nesting’. All of a sudden I am more organised than I have ever been in my life!

Since our little one is due only 6 days before Russell’s birthday, I have started putting aside a little money every fortnight to get his presents. I don’t want his birthday to come along and not have anything for him. I want him to have a special day. He is a little worried that he will always be forgotten now that the baby is due so close to his b’day. Not that he minds, but I do want to make sure I always make the effort for him and make sure he has a special day.

We still haven’t organised the nursery. All we have is a pram and 12 re-useable cloth nappies. If this baby came now it would be sleeping in the pram and would have maybe 2 singlets to alternate between. I saw my brother on Saturday and he was saying they have started tidying up around the house and getting the nursery finished off. They are due in 4 weeks and thought if the little man came early they would be screwed. It got me thinking, we have so much to organise! I don’t know where to start!

I don’t know anything about babies and have no idea what we should at least have in the nursery!

What do I use to bathe the kid? Normal soap? Surely not!
What do I use to wipe it’s bum with? What brand is good?
Do I need to put cream on it’s bum after every nappy change?
Do I need to bathe it everyday?
Do they always have to have socks on their feet?
Should they be wearing a singlet under all their clothing, all the time?
Is there something I should be doing around feeding times?

There are so many more questions, but I just don’t know where to start!

Any mums out there have any advice? I have no clue as to what I’m getting into and need to at least know some basics!!

On a side note, we are having our baby shower this weekend! (pray for sunshine)

We decided that since we are both becoming parents that we should have a party for both of us. Usually baby showers are for chicks. You play silly games and then have some arvo tea. We decided that we wanted to be able to celebrate our little ones arrival and have close friends and family around for a bbq. We are going to a local park and having a bbq with cricket and footy set-up….and I believe a bocce playoff!

Hopefully it will be a pleasant afternoon and we will be able to catch-up with a lot of friends and family that we have trouble getting to spend time with all the time (if that makes sense). There are just too many people that we love and very little time in a week to spend time with each of those people. Hopefully having them all in the one spot we will get to catch-up with them all and just have relaxing time.

On another side note, I know this is the bane of Sarah’s life, but RSVP’s. Why does no-one do it anymore?? Russ and I are providing salads, drinks and nibblies, and it is so hard to know how much to buy because no-one ever RSVP’s anymore! We will just have to buy enough for everyone on the invite list, but we don’t have much money and it is a pain to have 100 cans of coke left over in your fridge!

Anyway…if you read this blog and I have given you an invite, please RSVP!!!! I want to know that at least someone is coming along! We don’t want to be 2 loners in a park with 200 cans of coke!

Quote of the day

"It seems ironical that it takes a war or other crises to bring the peoples' Earth together."

- P.K. Shaw

Like Sands through the hourglass so are the days of bek #9

Well, where I left off after the last post in this series I shall continue today! I told you I wouldn’t be bothered to do it for another 6mths!

I will never forget the moment when we drove out of the car park from the reception to head off onto our journey of marriage!!

We hugged and waved people good-bye, got into our EA Wagon turned down one street from the church and pulled over. Russell reached over and…..grabbed the road map. He had no idea how to get to the hotel we were staying at!

So, after our little detour off we headed, the whole trip we just kept saying “I can’t believe we’re married. I can’t believe we’re married!” I’m sure most newlyweds go through the same thing.

We spent the weekend at a relaxed hotel and we slept pretty much all day. On the Sunday Arvo I was watching a movie and the cleaner came into the room to tidy things up. She asked if we were enjoying our break and what we were up to. We told her we had gotten married the day before and were going to be heading over east the next day. She screamed “I can’t believe you’re sitting around clothed watching a movie! I’ll be quick and get out!”. We thought it was quite funny.

We headed over to the Gold Coast for 10 days hoping to catch some beautiful sunshine. However, it rained, no re-phrase that, it flooded. The most rain QLD had had in 10 yrs. But, we made the most of it and spent our time walking around under an umbrella cuddling.

The honeymoon was great and settling in at home was fun. We set-up ‘house’ and enjoyed each others company. We started back up at work, and then reality set in.

For some reason we just started to argue. It was the most heated ‘discussions’ we had ever had with each other and were usually over the smallest things. I remember crying one night thinking “Aren’t we supposed to be happily married?”

Things got so bad one day I almost killed Russell…in the EA Wagon.

We were fighting over something (I have no idea what) and I grabbed the keys to the car. I jumped in the car and reversed out of the driveway. Russell was close on my tail yelling “You’re not going anywhere!” and indignantly sat on the bonnet of the car.

I chuckled to myself “As if that’s going to stop me!!” I quickly accelerated forward, Russell hit the wind screen, and then I quickly reversed and he rolled off the top of the bonnet. I hooned down the street while he proceeded to dust himself off and give me the ‘finger sign’ – with BOTH fingers! He then noticed the neighbours staring at him on their front lawn and quickly ran back inside.

I eventually came back and apologised for trying to kill him, and he forgave.

The first 6-12mths though were hell. I never had anyone tell me about any sort of ‘adjustment period’. I had close friends around me though and was able to chat with them and to find comfort in the fact that we weren’t alone. I just wish we had had those chats earlier in the piece! Now whenever I catch up with someone about to get married, I tell them the truth, I don’t hold back on sharing our experiences and let them know that it’s ok to fight. It’s normal.

We’ve been married for 3yrs now and I reckon we are in the honeymoon period now! Though, I’m sure that will all change once the baby gets here!

At my sisters wedding earlier this year I was chatting to Russ at about 1am after the wedding and was saying that as happy and excited I was at our wedding, nothing compares to the love that I have for him now! I thought I was at the epitome of love at our wedding, but every year it has just gotten better and better! I don’t want to go back to when we were first married, I like where we are now, and where we are headed! If it’s this good after 3yrs, I can’t begin to imagine how good it will be after 30!

I have grown into myself more since marrying Russell, poor bloke, had no idea what he was getting into (crazy car driving lady!). I am more comfortable in who I am and I am accepted and loved by Russell and there is nothing that can fully describe how that makes me feel. He takes me with all my flaws and failures and still chooses to love me everyday (sounds a little like someone else we all know?).

I love the fact that we can sit in front of the heater for hours and just talk. I love that on Friday nights when we are the most tired, we still snuggle in bed and usually spend the next couple of hours just talking. I have never opened up to anyone this much in my whole life, and there is still a lot of stuff that I hold back, but slowly we are uncovering more and more about each other and being more and more honest with each other. We rarely fight, and if we do, it’s more of a ‘discussion’ (sounds corny, but true) and we just chat about “I am currently feeling that…” etc…and usually sort it out straight away rather than let it linger.

There have been ups and downs in our marriage. Money struggles, church struggles (a huge part of a tension that was between us for a couple of years) and when we lost our first baby.

We decided at the end of 2006 that we would start trying for a family in Oct of 2007. Don’t know why Oct, but it was just a month that we decided to settle on. As a chick, there is no way to explain the maternal instincts that seem to kick in at a certain stage in life. I knew we had only been married a short while, but the mothering instinct in me was so burdensome that it was hard to explain to Russell. I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, but I also wanted to be a mother. Maybe I’m the only chick like this, I don’t know! I’ve always wanted a big family. When I was about 10-13yrs I was set on having 4 boys. I’ve always laughed that God will probably give me 4 girls…that’s just what he’s like!!

Anyway, we went to Thailand in Sept 07 (click here for photos and diary notes) and when we got back home, Russell said to me one night “I’m ready. I’m really ready to start trying for a family.” Up until then he hadn’t really been too keen on the idea. I didn’t push it but just tried to wait patiently. I wanted him to want it as much as me. I didn’t want to bring another person into our relationship knowing that Russell wasn’t in agreement with me 100%. It wasn’t until that night (I still remember it) that I knew he was ready and that he wanted it as much as me. So, we started trying. A couple of weeks later I was pregnant. But I never knew it. I mean I knew it in my head, but I never took a pregnancy test and never went to the doctor about it. I was too scared that the pregnancy test would come back negative, so I never did one!

During Oct we moved into our first home. We had moved 6 times since being married, and were finally in our own home. We had never planned to own our own home, and it all came as a bit of a surprise, but it happened and we are still settled there now.

We spent our 1st Christmas in our own home and I had been praying for the past couple of months that I would be pregnant by Christmas. I had said to God that I would take a pregnancy test on Christmas morning as a special present (I’m weird I know). But, come Christmas morning, I never took the test. I couldn’t trust that God would bless me with something so huge. This Christmas was also the first Christmas that Russell and I skipped church. Russell had just resigned from his job as Youth Pastor at our current church and we were embarking on a new journey into finding a new church. We decided that this being the first year we didn’t have any commitments to any church, we would spend the morning together and just relax. Which we did, and it was the best Christmas ever. We lazed around, gave each other pressies and then spent lunch and the afternoon with family. It was a great time of relaxation and I was able to take the week off work.

I’ll never forget the feeling that I should have taken the pregnancy test that morning. It would’ve been the best present either of us could have received, but you can’t go back in time, and you just need to accept the choices that you’ve made in the past.

Then, on the 31st of December my best friend had her first child, Jaxon. We went and saw her in hospital and I was so excited for her. The week after that we had a friends wedding, and we started looking around at local churches.

I mention the above events because there are photos from the 2 that stick in my mind. One photo with Russ and I holding and meeting Jaxon and one of both of us at this particular wedding. Whenever I look back at the photo of us and Jaxon it reminds me that I was pregnant there and was so looking forward to when our baby would arrive. The second photo was me in a tight black dress standing next to Russell. That morning I had been complaining that I looked so bloated and had nothing nice to wear that didn’t make me look pregnant. I was still in denial about the pregnancy and ended up wearing the tight black dress. I felt uncomfortable all day and couldn’t wait to strip out of the thing once we got home. I look at both photos and remember “I was pregnant there”. It’s a weird feeling, but I’m also glad that we at least some sort of record of the pregnancy.

Jan 10th (2008) I woke up during the night with the worst pains I have ever had, and I knew something was wrong. I had been bleeding a couple of days earlier and had been praying against anything going badly. That night I lost our baby and it changed me and our entire life. If you want to read anything about the whole experience you can click here and here.

Losing our baby was the worst and best thing that had ever happened to us. It definitely strengthened our marriage and brought us closer together as a couple. I will never forget the day that I cried for about 8hrs straight. Russell wasn’t working at the time and I was taking a break from work. We had woken up late and I went to the loo. I walked back into our bedroom and just burst into tears. Russell held me for the next few hours as I just cried and cried, occasionally mumbling to myself. He never said anything and he just encompassed me in his arms. I will never forget it. It was as though through the physical act of being bound together we were bound together in spirit also.

Since then we have been closer than ever before. This year has been the best year as we have both overcome some of the things that life throws your way and we have survived! I believe that our relationship is going forward in leaps and bounds and I hope and pray that we can continue down this path.

4 weeks after the miscarriage I fell pregnant again. I call Russell ‘super sonic sperm’ these days as it was an absolute miracle (again). I couldn’t believe that it happened so quickly and we have spent the last 30 weeks thanking God and praying over the safety of this little one every night. We are both excited beyond belief and cannot believe that another little person will be joining our relationship this year. We will become a family!

The pregnancy has definitely brought its challenges but it has also brought the most joy I have felt in years. I love seeing Russell’s excitement and involvement and I am so incredibly blessed to have him as both my husband and father of my children. I love listening to him talk about the baby and his hopes and dreams, I love watching his face grow with excitement when he sits there feeling the baby move. I love hearing him whisper secrets to the baby that I can’t hear – his own daddy and baby secrets and I love hearing him say out loud how much he loves the little one already. I am a truly blessed woman.

The other week we were watching a music dvd of ‘UnderOath’ and the baby was kicking around the most I had ever felt! Russell sat for the next hour with the biggest smile on his face as he felt the baby kick around. He was so proud that baby was hearing and seemingly enjoying the same music as him and we both sat there and just enjoyed.

I have no doubt that he will love this child like no other. He will be with me every step of the way and will always support me as we both learn to raise our children.

I could go on for another few hours about all the different little things I have learnt about Russell through our marriage, but I’m sure you’re all bored enough!

I will leave you here. I’ve brought you through a tiny little snapshot of our marriage and where we are up to now.

My next instalment will include what happened with the whole “other church” thing. It played a huge part earlier on in our marriage and it still plays a big role in our lives now. I’ve sort of done all this out of order, but hopefully you can still follow relatively easy!

You can read any of the updates I have made along the way on the pregnancy here.

One of the photo's I was talking about, and that dress!

This was taken just 5 days before we lost the baby

Quote of the day

"For every feared thing there is an opposing hope that encourages us".

- Umberto Eco

Class Overview

It wasn't thaaaaaat bad last night.

The class went for 2 hours and the lady who held the session was a midwife...not the usual Child Care Nurse/Health Care Nurse.

It was informative and I smashed all opposition by naming all the different body parts on the chart!! Woo hoo....go me! Maybe it was because no-one else was comfortable saying "cervix" or "vagina".

However, seeing a little hole in some chipwood that was the size of what we had to dilate to in order for the baby to come out was freaky. I just about passed out in my seat.

It's amazing all the different things that the woman's body just does without being told though, it really is a miracle!

I left feeling a little scared but not too badly. I just thought to myself...I'm not the first and not the last to have to go through this, all the other women in this room will be joining me in a couple of months so there's nothing to be worried about.

I will see how the next few weeks go, but so far so good :)

Vaseline & Chinese Burns - FUN!

Tonight we have our first antenatal class.

I'm a little nervous. I've heard stories of these tree-huggin hippee crazy people!

I'm not really looking forward to being told to put that vaseline WHERE and do WHAT with it??

or having Russell give me a chinese burn so that I can learn to "breathe" through the pain??

How 'bout I give you a chinese burn weirdo and see how you breathe through the pain? I bet these people haven't even gone through labor before!!

BUT....I will reserve my judgements for now and share them all with you tomorrow :)

I just wish I could take my camera in with me!!

Building Better Marriages

By Rob Furlong
Challenge Newspaper October 2004

An old friend of mine recently sent me the following humorous (but untrue!) story:

“A Husband Shopping Centre has opened in Atlanta, where a woman can go to choose from among many men to be her husband. It is laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascend.There is, however, a catch. You’re only allowed in once.
Once you open the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor. If you go up a floor, you can’t go back down except to exit the building.So, a woman goes to the shopping centre to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door says:

Floor 1: These men have jobs and love kids. The woman reads the sign. “Well, that’s better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.The second floor sign says:

Floor 2: these men have high paying jobs, love kids and are extremely good-looking. “Hmmm, better,” says the woman. “But I wonder what’s further up?”The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3: These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. “Wow,” says the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there’s more further up!” And so again, she goes up. On the fourth floor the sign reads:

Floor 4: These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. “Oh, mercy me.” (That’s how women talk in Georgia).“But just think .. what must be awaiting me further up?” So up to the fifth floor she goes. The sign on that door says:

Floor 5: This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping.”

We laugh at a story like that because we can all make points of contact with it but we also recognise that it does stereotype men and women.Far more damaging however, is the stereotyping of men and women by the advertising industry.

Mark Earley from the U.S.A. commented on this recently as he warned people about “Mooks” and “Midriffs”. Take a close look at what he says:

“On television, men are increasingly portrayed as perpetual adolescents: pre-occupied with sexual matters and incapable of meaningful conversation. One obvious example is Miller Lite’s controversial “Catfight” commercials. A discussion about the beer quickly degenerates into “an angry, clothes-shredding, wrestling match” between two women in a fountain. The ad then cuts to a bar where it turns out that the fight was merely a male fantasy: two guys’ idea of the perfect beer ad."

Then there’s the recent Domino’s Pizza ads in which men were explicitly compared to dogs, blindly running towards a ringing door bell in the expectation of their favourite pizza. Or car ads where young men are shown as incapable of any thought more substantial than which comic book character would win a hypothetical fight.

Advertisers claim that these ads provide an “insight into guys’ mentality.” But, as Douglas Rushkoff of New York University says, this portrayal of the American male, which he calls the “Mook,” is entirely “the creation of marketers.” It’s designed to sell guys things by appealing to an exaggerated version of their worst instincts.And, yes, there’s a female equivalent of the “mook”. Rushkoff calls her a “midriff”. She’s style-conscious and sexually precocious along the lines of a Britney Spears. Like the “mook” the “midriff” embodies advertisers’ ideal consumer of their goods and services.”

Here is my question then to those of you who regularly read this column:

From whom do you derive your idea of self from?

• Do you think you are a man because you are with a beautiful woman?
• Do you feel like a woman because there is a man in your life who idolises you?
• Or maybe you take your cues from the advertising industry?

If you answer yes to any of these then your house is built on very unstable ground. Our sense of worth, identity, who we are, is built on our relationship to God. We are made in His image, to bring Him glory. When we understand that we discover what it means to be a man or a woman and we also see the “Mook” and the “Midriff” for what they are: gross distortions of reality!

Quote of the day

"Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you."

- Carl Yung

Deluded Night Sessions

I made a big Hazelnut Torte for Father's Day on Saturday night.

During the night I had one of my 'deluded night sessions' and I said out loud:

"That cake has so much cream it'll turn your breast milk into cream puffs"

Yes yes, seriously deluded.

Then I hid under the covers and nearly suffocated because I thought spiders were hanging from the ceiling trying to get my cake :)

Quote of the day

"If a little dreamin is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time."

- Marcel Proust

29.3 weeks

I am into my 3rd and final trimester. I never thought I would ever get to say that, but here I am!!

This whole experience just keeps getting better. 18 weeks along (to the day) was when we first felt bub-o-luv move. We were sitting in church and I was eating a freddo frog during the sermon. About 10mins later the baby kicked all along my belly and it was the most amazing surreal feeling ever. I will never forget that moment, mainly because I yelled out a little and then remembered where we were. I was just so surprised and excited!

Since then the movements have become more common and longer lasting. Every time I feel it move I think about the mystery of it all. How amazing is God!?! Here is this little being inside of me moving around and growing every single day. The whole mystery of the womb and exactly what bub-o-luv is doing in there is fantastic. We are separated by a few cm’s of skin and muscle and I can’t tell what it’s doing, its fantastic! I love it!

The other night though, I felt ‘bol’ position its feet on the left side of my belly and then push and smacked it’s head on the right side of my belly! I wasn’t too impressed since it knew exactly what it was doing. Positioning perfectly and WHAM…that felt kinda odd but cool at the same time. Yesterday while I was sitting at work it kept pushing it’s little foot against my belly and you could see through my clothing a little bump. I kept grabbing it and rubbing it. It would pull back in and then do it again. It felt odd because it would hold it’s foot there for about 10secs and then pull it back in. It hurt a little ‘cos it was really stretching my skin.

As I was lying in bed last night I was telling the baby how much we loved it and that we couldn’t wait to meet it. I had both hands on my belly and every time I said “I love you” it would kick around. Maybe coincidence, I don’t know, maybe the sound of my voice, I don’t know…but it was a really amazing moment.

One of my closest friends was over on Saturday and she was talking about how her 8mth old boy was only just starting to realise that they are a separate being. She was saying that when they are first born and really young, they don’t see themselves as a separate entity/being/person to mum. They are one and the same. I thought this was amazing but made sense all at the same time! Baby has been attached to me, sharing my body for the last 9mths, why would it see itself as being a separate person once it’s out? I think it is a beautiful picture, and it captures a little of the bond that mums and their children share. It’s a really, really beautiful picture.

In terms of the pregnancy things have constantly been changing. I haven’t vomited since week 16, I have had the occasional spew if I’ve eaten dinner too late at night, but other than that the morning (all day) sickness has stopped.

Then started the fun stage where the belly starts to pop out and movements start to happen.

Now I just look at my belly and am shocked. I kind of miss my flat belly…it was so much more manageable. I struggle to pull my undies on every morning, struggle with my socks and shoes and pants. I can’t bend very far and am having trouble trying to adjust to moving around the belly. I miss wearing my old tank tops and clothing but I wouldn’t change it for the world! I’m just starting to look forward to feeling ‘normal’ again.

When I think about it, I have been pregnant for 37 of the last 41 weeks. I feel like I’ve been pregnant all stinking year!!

I have had to ‘move into’ maternity bras. Not the funnest thing in the world. They aren’t very supportive, and every one in the office can tell when the air con is on too high!! Just look at bek…she’s a walking thermometer!! I mean hey, all dignity will fly out the window in 10wks, why not get a head start!

Sleeping isn’t too bad, it just hurts to roll sometimes – it’s an uncomfortable feeling, kind of like my organs are all shifting here there and every where.

I had a doctors appointment last week as they had to check that I didn’t have gestational diabetes and they also checked my iron levels (after 2mths of complaining they needed to do it!!). I don’t have diabetes, but my iron came back at 14. Iron levels should be between 20 and 220 (20 being absolute minimum obviously). To which the doctor says…”you really need to sort this out…blah blah blah”. I just about slapped him. Moron! I’ve been telling you to sort it out for the last 2mths and only NOW have you done anything about it.

So, I’m on iron tablets that have vitamin C in them to help absorb the iron.

It has started to make a difference. I’m not dying (too much) by the end of the day and I am slowly starting to get my energy back. Slowly but surely!

The only other change has been that my legs are a little swollen. They don’t look too bad, but they hurt a little and just feel a little pudgy. It’s quite funny actually.

Other than that, everything seems to be going well! Other than getting really tired throughout the day things are going well. Bol seems to be growing and growing non-stop and Russell is loving every minute too! He is looking forward to becoming a daddy and I can’t help but smile when I think about him as dad. He will do an absolutely amazing job, and I’m glad it’s him helping to raise our kids and no-one else.

Actually, that’s the other thing. The pregnancy seems to have brought us closer and closer every day. I love him more and more and am loving our relationship at the moment. We have always had an open and honest relationship and we rarely argue. When we do, we can pretty much sort it out quickly without raising voices. I hope it doesn’t change too much when the baby comes, which is naïve because I’m sure it will, but I hope that we can always put the effort in and work at it. Not get lazy about it.

Anyway…this has been a long post and I should get back to work. Only 4.2 weeks left and then I’m outta here!!

Something to look forward to

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me dear old knockers,
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me tits.

‘Cos now I’m much older and gravity’s winning.
It’s Nature’s revenge for all that sinning,
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me tits.

‘Cos tits can be such troublesome things
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
I wish I’d looked after me tits.

When they’re both long enough to tie up in a bow,
When it’s not the sweet chariot that swings low,
When they’re less of a friend and more of a foe,
Then I wish I’d looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me tits.

When picking them up requires some leverage,
When it’s not so much lift as industrial heavage,
When there’s more of a parting and less of a cleavage,
I wish I’d looked after me tits.

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
Cruising around with my favourite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
I wish I’d looked after me tits.

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they’re less in the air and more near the floor,
When people see less of them rather than more,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me tits.