Quote of the day

"I cannot hear what you say for the thunder of what you are."

- Zulu Proverb

Life Observations #7

35. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

36. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my itunes.

37. Why is a school zone 40kph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

38. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

39. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

A Years Reflections

This time a year ago, I was sitting in a hospital bed in absolute disbelief that I had finally met the babe that I had been carrying for the last 9mths.

The pain of the night earlier had all been forgotten and I was now staring into the beautiful blue eyes of my daughter.


This past year I have learnt so much about myself and my family and most importantly about God.

I have had my faults clearly brought forward! Not necessarily a pleasant thing, but a necessary thing none-the-less. I have had my eyes opened to the things that I need to deal with and the areas where I desperately need God's grace.


I have learnt about love - just how deep it is possible to go! That there is absolutely NOTHING that I wouldn't do for you my 'specious' daughter.

You have made me laugh so much more in life! You are hysterical! Dada says you have no chance seeing as how you are with me all day...but you are truly a crazy one! Those faces you pull...the noises you make...the actions you do...the predicaments you get yourself into! My stomach is constantly sore from laughing so much.

(Like I was saying!!!)

You have made me a mumma...which is all I have ever wanted. I still stress that I'm not fulfilling my 'duties' that I'm letting you down in huge ways. That I stuff up too much to make up for the good stuff.

My prayer for you as you enter into this next year is that you will continue to grow healthy and strong. That you will continue to make those around you laugh and smile. That you will start to learn to know about Jesus and the love he has for you. That you will listen to you mumma and dada - we only have your best interests at heart! - that you will continue to grow into a joyful girl.

Feb 2008 I prayed for God to heal my heart. And he has...with a beautiful daughter none can match. You are the part of me that was missing and I am such a blessed woman because of you. You have healed my heart and brought me joy...my beautiful Emery Joy...

I love you with all of my heart 'specious'. Happy 1st birthday xoxoxo

Life Observations #6

30. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

31. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

32. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever. (or in my case...who gives a rats tutu...I'll wash it however I want!!)

33. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this.It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'

34. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

Life Observations #5

21. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

22. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

23. Bad decisions make good stories.

24. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

25. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Life Observations #4

These are some of the funniest so far!!! I love 19 :)


16. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a d1ck from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

17. Everytime I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

18. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

19. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

20. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

Life Observations #3

11. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text

12. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say"

13. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

14. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

15. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

Life Observations #2

6. There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

7. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

8. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

9. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

10. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

Life Observations

I received an email recently with over 40 life observations. I'll slowly post them, maybe only 5 at a time.

1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

2. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

5. Do you remember when you were a kid; playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in the world did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or faq's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

Avoid the Top Reason for Marriage Failure

By Rob Furlong
Challenge Newspaper July 2009

It was rather sad to read recently about the collapse of the celebrity marriage of Aussie singer, Peter Andre. Andre and his wife Katie Price were married after falling in love on a reality TV show called “I’m a celebrity…get me out of here!”

Over the course of their three and a half years marriage they have gained notoriety for their heated arguments that have been screened on yet another reality show. The couple has gone from a literal Cinderella style wedding to a separation that has become very nasty and hurtful and played out in full view of the public.

It seems to me that there is always a common thread running through the collapse of celebrity marriages: selfishness! Celebrities are involved in an industry that caters to their every whim and desire, no matter how ridiculous it may seem. The entertainment industry feeds that most basic of human weaknesses, self-centredness as well as fostering and promoting it. So when you have two people involved in an industry like that you can expect a lot of selfishness to come out in their marriage relationship. No wonder celebrity marriages implode so often!

But here is an interesting thought — we are no different in our relationships! It has been my experience that the number one reason behind the collapse of a marriage is plain, old fashioned selfishness.

Why won’t a husband pick up the tea towel for his wife and dry the dishes for her? Selfishness!

Why does a wife disregard her husband’s wishes and still
buys her “must have” new dress or shoes? Selfishness!

Why do two people refuse to listen to each other but still
expect the other person to listen to them? Selfishness!

Why does a husband or wife seek to find comfort in the arms of another lover? Selfishness!

Whether you are a celebrity or not you are still infected by the terrible disease of selfishness. And when selfishness goes unchecked in a marriage it usually spells out death for the relationship. Our tendency toward selfishness is clearly in mind in the following quote from a marriage counsellor:

“Marriage is not so much about finding the right person as it is about being the right person.”

As simple as that statement is, it has enormous consequences for you if you decide to put it into practice because it forces you to stop focusing on yourself and to begin focusing on the other person, which is the essence of true love.

I find this kind of wisdom about relationships in the Bible, especially the Proverbs. Here are just two for you to think about:
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.”

Excellent here refers to a virtuous woman — a woman of tremendous class and quality. A woman who is proud of her husband; one who shows him respect and is unashamed to do so. Such a woman has the highest place in man’s life — she crowns it! But a woman who openly despises her husband and is constantly critical of him and his decisions is like an infectious disease. Simply put, a woman can make or break her man. If she is going to “make” him, then she will need to be unselfish.

And husbands are also told “to rejoice in the wife of your youth”. In other words, instead of moaning and complaining about what she does and does not do, remember why you married her in the first place and keep on encouraging those good things in her today. How easy it is for us men to forget all the good things about our wives and only focus on the negatives that we see.

If we want to change our relationship for the better then we must stop focusing on ourselves and begin asking ourselves how we can better serve our partner — this is called unselfishness and it has the power to transform both you and the other person.

Isn’t it time you picked up a tea towel?

Name Calling

I (we) have a few names we call Emery.

Eme

Eme-joy

Eme-joy joy joy

Ssspecious girl

Sweet Cheeks

Bubba

Bub-o-luv

(this one is from her Grammy) Myjy (pronouned midgy)

Ssspecious girl came from me one night. I was trying to tell her she was special to me and a precious girl and I accidentally said ssspecious. It's stuck ever since!

And myjy is my mums name for her. It stands for My Joy

I don't know if I ever went through the names we gave to Eme.

Emery was a suggestion from Russell. It was the name of one of our bands we enjoyed and we thought it quite a pretty name for a girl.

Joy is my middle name and I wanted to pass it onto Eme as it holds quite a bit of meaning in our family. My mum had 3 miscarriages before she had me, and when I was born I was such a 'joy' to her and dad. After I had my miscarriage I decided that if we ever had a girl, her middle name would be Joy also. Considering my mum thought she would never have children, let alone grandchildren...I thought it would be a nice reminder of God's grace and faithfulness.

Kade (her 2nd middle name) is a combination of my mum & mum-in-laws names. KAren & DEnise. I thought I had invented a name, then found out it's actually a real name (for boys)

So, there you have it. What's behind a name...

Who has an interesting story about their name or their children's names?

Domestic B!t@h

Dropping my husband off at work the other morning, I notice that a mum dropping off her kids at school was driving a huge 4wd with a sticker on the back window...it said "Domestic Bitch". Strange I thought...

The next day I see a young girl driving down the freeway with a sticker on her back window saying "Queen of Bitches". Strange again....I thought....

That was until I saw someone else with a number plate that said "beyooootch" (or however it is that you spell it!)

This is when I started to wonder if I was possibly missing a few screws up top. Am I missing something? Did I miss the memo that came out saying that it's now cool to call / refer to yourself as a bitch?

I personally think of the word/name as a really sharp word! I think it is a really 'cutting' word and not one that I would ever want to use to describe myself. Yet, so many women, young and old, are starting to refer to themselves in this way.

As I said, I may be missing a few screws/nuts/bolts...but I honestly don't understand this new 'fad'.

A tranquil life from just $240k ???

There is a certain road that Russ and I drive down regularly and the above is on a billboard next to a new estate that is slowly rising.



Every time I see the sign I can't help but smile at myself. What a joke! If all it cost me was a measly little $240k to have a tranquil life I would start saving.



But, we all know that there is no price tag on having a tranquil life. A new house with new furniture and beautiful neighbors houses is not going to give me a tranquil life. We may have the appearance of being tranquil, but inside may be a different matter. Inside we could be struggling with depression, anxiety (at having such a huge debt), disjointed family relationships, tension in our marriage, children who are crying out for more of us and turning to others/objects for satisfaction.



Just having a new home is not going to give me a great family life, nor will it give me fulfillment in my work or relationships.



Now, I'm not saying that having a new home is wrong. What I'm saying/asking, is what is the intent behind having a new home? Is it because we believe that it will restore broken family relationships? That it will remove some of the tension in our marriage?

A tranquil life doesn't have a price tag. And the sooner we stop listening to the lies we are force fed everyday, the sooner we will be able to move down the path of having a truly tranquil life.

Every Mother's A Working Mother

Written by Barbara Curtis

It was the kind of splendid September day when sending kids to school just feels wrong. Fortunately, that year I was homeschooling and calling the shots. Plus we were living in California, an hour from the Pacific Ocean. For all I knew, it could be the last day of summer, and we wouldn’t want to miss that. So it was off to the ocean with five children under eight – Josh, Matt, Ben, Zach, and Sophia.
Together, we cleaned up from breakfast, prepped the car, then gathered beach blankets, umbrella, towels, swimsuits, diapers, sunglasses, sand toys, first aid kit, sunscreen, a cooler full of snacks and drinks – ay yi yi yi yi! Hello, motherhood – goodbye spontaneity.
I loaded the assorted car seats and strapped, snapped, and buckled five wiggling bodies into Big Blue – the 1989 Suburban we grew out of only a few years later. And we were on our way.
With everyone else in school, the whole beach was ours. I staked out our territory close to the water, hauled everything down from the car, and set up camp. For five hours I served as personal valet, sunscreen slatherer, weather advisor, recreation director, swim instructor, lifeguard, EMT, food concessionaire, manners consultant, bus boy, interpreter, peace negotiator, psychologist – not to mention lost-and-found.
Finally, I hauled everything back to the car, strapped, snapped, and buckled five sunscreen-and-sand-coated no-longer-wiggly warm, limp bodies back into Big Blue and headed for home.
The sun through the window was soothing, and the car was full of contentment. It had been a wonderful day and I was pleased with myself as a mother.
Then from the back seat, I heard Zachary clear his throat, and in his deadpan four-year-old Eeyore voice ask, “Mom, when are you going to get a job?”
“This is my job,” I said, somewhat amused and just a little edgy.
But homeward bound, as the kids fell asleep one by one and I was left alone with my thoughts, I began to see the beauty of Zach’s question: somehow – even though it could be hard work and even though I had my testy moments – my kids didn’t think of motherhood as a job.
And I decided that was a good thing – because it’s not really a job at all, but a calling. And callings just don’t look like jobs, because they require more of a person than a job requires.
Which makes it hard for moms whose days are spent conquering mountains of laundry, creating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and kissing owies.
We live in a world where success is measured by progress – as recorded on report cards, sales reports, performance reviews, pay raises. And symbolized by ribbons, trophies, and merit badges. In our lifetimes, our husband and children will bring scores of these items home and make us proud. We’ll put them in scrapbooks, sew them on uniforms, frame and hang them up for all to see.
But I don’t know of any special awards for teaching a child to tie her shoe or come to dinner when he’s called. No raises or praises when a mother drops everything to drive someone out for posterboard: “Your project’s due tomorrow? But it’s almost eight o’clock!”
Every day this goes on: everyday moms doing everyday things – sometimes struggling with feelings of inferiority or even worthlessness – just being obedient to their call.
But while motherhood can look easy – it’s certainly not rocket science, after all – the irony is this: while lots of important people in important places conduct lots of important business every day, the truly most important work in the whole world is really going on at home, where the CEO is mommy.
And God is like an equal opportunity employer, giving every woman in the world – through birth and adoption – this wonderful, unequalled opportunity.
I guess if we got disgruntled enough from lack of appreciation, we could start a Mommy Power movement (the same seeds of discontent that began the feminist movement – only in a direction away from motherhood). We could have bumper stickers that say: If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy
We could sue people who put us down at parties and maybe even get a special mention as a protected minority not to be discriminated against.
But that wouldn’t be very mommy-like, would it? Because there’s something about mommies that should be soft where others are hard, kind where others are cruel, patient where others can’t wait. We may not start out that way at all, but there’s absolutely nothing like motherhood to change anything about us that needs to be changed.
At least, that’s how it’s been on my motherhood journey. I set out to make a home, to grow a family, and to help my children reach their potential.
The most amazing thing is that while I was helping them reach theirs, God was helping me reach mine.
Be sure to hug a mother today!

Quote of the day

"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."

- H.G. Wells

Epiphany - Schmiphany

As I stood at a checkout of a well-known surf shop this afternoon I had an epiphany! YES an epiphany :)

I realised that for the majority of my life I have tried to define myself by what I own and how I present myself in society. Instead of putting my time and energy into working on my character and who I am in Christ, I've been trying to keep up appearances...though it wouldn't seem so these days!

As Russ and I wandered through the shops today (a rare occurrence these days) to grab a present for someone, we were talking about how hard it is these days to find and maintain our identity.

You may not believe it, but once upon a time, I had style! Some may not agree, but I put my own stamp on whatever I wore. I had a unique style and it wasn't uncommon to spend most of my weekly pay on maintaining that style, that identity. Now we are in a place where I haven't bought anything new or nice in a VERY long time. Most of what I wear these days are practical...not trendy. And I am finding myself feeling lost. I feel that I have lost a part of me.

When I walked into 'Live' today I just wanted to sink into the floor. They had some jeans on sale which Russ suggested I try on. My current jeans...I somehow managed to break the button. It's sort of there but only half there so I can't put it in the button hole...can't remember how it happened, but I currently have to wear a belt to hold my pants up! So, anyway, Russ wanted me to look at these ridiculously cheap jeans. When I walked in I suddenly became very aware of myself. I'm not wearing anything nice, my hair has regrowth the length of a giraffes neck, no makeup, and remnants of pumpkin spew on my shoulder. They had those horrible lights in the changerooms that show EVERY flaw. I felt like I had no right to shop in such a trendy store. I left feeling even more lost and even more ugly than before.

Anyway...that's not what this post is about. But I guess why I wanted to post was because of my epiphany. I'm tired of chasing the unattainable. I am slowly realising that there is more to this life than what I look like. I want to start living my own life. I want to work on my character, who I am in Christ.

It's easier said than done though. It's easier to say that I will work on developing who I am (at heart) rather than who I appear to be. I wish I could be the 'yummy mummy' that society expects of young mothers these days. I wish we had the money to keep up appearances. Russ could keep getting his music and I could keep my style...my identity, who I, who we are.

I guess it's going to be a long journey. One that I hope I will come out of better off. Knowing who I am and finding my identity in Christ. That no matter what I wear, what sort of house we live in, what my children wear (as long as it's something) that He accepts us as we are. That He loves me and that I can be worth more than the clothes on my back.

So, I don't know what I've come to after all that. It is really late and I should be in bed, but I'm watching the 'living with Michael Jackson' and I must admit I'm a little hooked...talk about an identity crisis!!

4 years on...

It would seem my husband beat me to posting anything today!!

www.mybeautifulbek.blogspot.com

My precious Niece Kajah Jade (pron Kya)

Having a cuddle with my favourite niece :)

Look at all her hair!!

Eme starting to get a little jealous...no joke...she chucked a huge hissy fit just after this photo!!

How handsome is he??!! VERY!!

Trying to capture all her hair in the photo...though I missed about 3/4's of it!! There's SO much

Cute as a button!

I'm an Auntie again!!!

Welcome to the world little Kajah Jade :)
Born 11.30pm 5th of June weighing in at 7lb 14oz (Emery still holds the title for biggest bub in this family - go Eme!)

She has jet black hair like her mumma and Kate looks as though she just went for a walk through the park! Even though it was roughly 2days she labored for! Ah, the gift of the young!

Anyway...I'm off to buy ribbons and bows and all things PINK then I shall be visiting our precious petal this afternoon.

Looks like both Sarah and I were wrong!! However, I did guess girl :) I at least got that right!

Adios!

Repair the past with Forgiveness

By Rob Furlong
Challenge Newspaper April 2009

Forgiveness frequently comes up in the news — whether it be another story about innocent people being killed in an overseas conflict or family members grappling with the devastating loss of a son or daughter in a car accident that was not their fault. Whatever the situation, at some point the people involved will face the issue of whether or not they will forgive the perpetrator of the crime.

Forgiveness is also a very real issue in marriage. The health of a couple’s relationship can often be determined by the willingness (or unwillingness) of a husband and wife’s readiness to forgive each other.

I have talked with many couples over the years and I never stop being amazed at the way in which people hang on to things that they did to each other years and years ago and the overwhelming pettiness of it all. “She did this…” “He always forgot…” “I never do that…” On and on it goes.

At the risk of being misunderstood, let me stress that I am not saying that their hurts (or yours) are insignificant and that they should be simply glossed over. All I just want to point out is that, at some point in the relationship, someone has to have the guts to forgive the other person. If this does not happen then the couple is either headed for the divorce court or they will simply learn to co-exist under the same roof in a permanent state of “Cold War”.

Gordon MacDonald in his book “A Resilient Life” writes persuasively about the importance of regularly practising forgiveness in our relationships. He uses a term to describe forgiveness that I find refreshing. He calls it “repairing the past”. If you think about it, that is precisely what we do when we forgive someone: we repair the wrong and the relationship.

In taking this step, I want to be very clear that forgiveness does not come cheaply. In marriage, for example, there should be a genuine acknowledgement by one party that what they did was hurtful and also a sincere commitment by them to change their behaviour. And the other person, then, freely forgives the guilty person from the heart.

I am not suggesting that I don’t struggle with forgiveness either; believe me, I have my moments! But throughout our marriage, Karen and I have regularly practised the discipline of forgiving each other. We have used simple words too. One of us will say, “I’m sorry for…I will change…” and then the other will say, “I forgive you.” (And mean it!)

You may think it sounds childish and perhaps the whole idea of actually saying the words “I forgive you” makes you feel awkward (it does!), but it has contributed to both of us keeping short accounts with each other and not allowing petty resentments to build up that over time would undermine our relationship.

On a gloomy Friday afternoon, with His life ebbing away and surrounded by a jeering, hate-filled mob of accusers spitting and cursing at Him, Jesus uttered some astounding words: “Father forgive them…” In that awful, dreadful moment, He was still able to forgive. This is the essence of the what He did on the cross: to purchase our forgiveness. And it challenges us to forgive also. And when we forgive, we repair the past.

May your Easter be blessed, and your marriage, as you receive and give forgiveness.

Baby Guess-a-thon

My little sister is due in roughly 2 weeks. Her first little baby...

I'm so excited!!

How bout we have a guess-a-thon? I kinda ran outta time to do one for myself before Eme was born...either that or I was just too lazy hehehehe

Anyway...here is my guess for Kate:

Date: 6th June (she is due the 4th)
Time: 2.36am
Sex: Girl
Weight: 8lb 2oz
Length: 51cm

So...in the comment section, leave your guesses!

25 Things By Russell

Things I love about bek (a b'day present)

1. Your crazy morning hair
2. How dedicated you are to being a mum
3. How you build me up as a man
4. The way you cry when your angry
5. Your cute lil ears
6. The way you love me even when I don't deserve it
7. The crazy noises you make for Eme
8. The fact you gave birth to our child - that you went through all that pain
9. That sexy butt of yours
10. How you listen to Disney music and Hardcore music
11. The way you make meatballs
12. The silly dances you do
13. The lil songs you sing to Eme - they help create memories
14. Those beautiful blue eyes
15. Your style thats so 'you'
16. How impulsive you are even when I say it's frustrating
17. How passionate you get about things that you can't sit by and do nothing
18. Your cute little nose
19. How loyal you are to those you love
20. The face you pull when your not happy with me - it's scary but I still love it
21. Your tiny but very seductive lips
22. (cannot be repeated in public)
23. That you're my best friend and I get to spend this life with you
24. Those long Irish Dancing legs of yours
25. That YOU chose ME! I love you!!

My legacy

What an interesting week it's been!

I turned a quarter of a century...yes I'm officially in my 'mid-twenties'.

And a good family friend passed away.

We attended his funeral yesterday and it has really messed with me. As I sat there, looking at the 4 young men and his wife he has left behind I really started to question God. Why did he allow this? He was still young and it doesn't seem fair?

I then started thinking about what will people say at my funeral? We all have to leave this life one day. Death is a fact of life. But, what have I done with my life that is of worth? Have I served God to the best of my ability or do I just keep wasting each and every day away?

I also had a few doubts about heaven and afterlife I guess. Not that I doubt there is a God, but the afterlife is such a unfathomable subject. We cannot comprehend what heaven is like...

It got me thinking about my life and what I'm doing with it. Most the time I am just going day by day and doing nothing. I got a new resolve yesterday though. I want to be known to have loved greatly. To have loved and raised my children to grow up and serve our God. To have not wasted my time here and that I served God and placed him first in my life.

I said to Russell last night that all I can think that he would say at my funeral is that I thought farts were hilarious. Not much of a legacy if you ask me.

In the past couple of months I've been thinking about my future, job wise. Since I was 5 all I have ever wanted to do is midwifery. However, I have never chased after it because I am held back by fear. Fear that I'm not good enough, smart enough, committed enough. I've always put my wants and needs first rather than consulting God and praying about it. This year though I have been seriously praying about it, and I feel God is leading me onto further studies. Curtin University offers a course which is 3yrs long. It is an undergraduate Bachelor of Science (Midwifery). Have theory have practical. It sounds like the perfect course for me. They only have intakes once a year, so I've missed this year. But that means I have until November to sort myself out and to keep praying about it. And YOU at home have until then to pray for me.

If I don't get accepted into this course, I will apply to a couple of Uni's to do Nursing for 3yrs and then I would have to do an additional year specialising in Midwifery.

Anyway...that's only one of the things I've been thinking about since the funeral yesterday. I just kept dreaming last night about death and what I'm doing with my life.

I just feel like I've had 25yrs already, and I have done nothing. Would people come to my funeral? Would they say 'yeah, she was ahhhlright.' or would they say that she was a woman of worth, a loving wife, mother and committed to her Saviour and that she lived a transparent life?

Anyway, there's just so many things going through my head at the moment I kind of have made a mess of this post.

I guess I am wondering if people have thought about what they would want people to say at their funeral? Have you thought about it? Has it changed how you live your day to day life?

All my prayers are with the H. family as they have been the last 7mths. Thankyou for all your hospitality and love you have shown myself and my family over the last 15yrs. xoxoxoxo

Slicked Nostril Hairs

Bek: I have a fluff stuck somewhere in my nose

Russ: Is that so

Bek: Hey, do we ALL have nose hairs?

Russ: Yes

Bek: I think sometimes mine get slicked back

Russ: .....

Bek: yeah, sometimes it's like the air gets right in there and my nose hairs are slicked back, and the air hurts my nose cos there's nothing to stop it. The air dries out my nostril 'cos there's no hair to stop it tunnelling. You know?

Russ: .....no....I don't know

Bek: ....yeah, sometimes they just slick back

Sisterhood Award

Thanks Sarah for nominating me for the Sisterhood Award which is for female bloggers who are considered inspiring and encouraging.

This is what she wrote about me on her blog:

Bek at Longfur. She has a baby now so she can't blog as often as she used to but I really miss her posts just about following Jesus in everyday life. Come back Bek!

I really missing being able to blog as much as I used to...and I do have plans to blog more...but they are usually foiled by a sucking machine!! (who I love to death!!)

Now I need to nominate five other blogs to share in this award.

I'm going to return the award to Sarah at the Sedshed. She was pretty much the first blog I started reading. She is honest, open and an amazing writer. She isn't scared to ask the tough questions...oh and she tends to invade my dreams sometimes!!

Jen from Abba's Princess. Jen is a mum of 5...YES 5!! Which I find amazing...I would love lots like that too! She does an amazing job as a wife and mother and she too is open and honest about the struggles and joys of being a parent (and wife). She is funny too... and dedicated!! She started the whole writing 100 things she loves about her hubby! I do believe she posted 1000 things!!! AMAZING!

Ummmm...I'm sure there are more...but I honestly can't think of any!! I'm sorry if that offends! I'm the same as Sarah...I mainly read blogs by guys, so I can't really think of anyone else I'm sorry!!

Anywho...pass it on girls and THANKS for your open hearts and posts!

Tithing update

Thanks to all those who commented on my last post. It was good to get a discussion going on this blog again!!

Now, I received a few concerned messages during the week, and I just wanted to say that the main point of my post may have been missed. Russ and I are fine (relatively) we are still eating, and still alive over here!! I was just wondering what people thought about tithing as it is a subject that almost everyone has a different view point on.

So, please don't panic...it's nice to know people care...we are fine. :) and we are eating :)

On another note, it has been great to discuss what people think about tithing and to re-evaluate (as a family) what we do in regards to tithing.

I hope the post challenged you and made you think about what you do with your money, and where your money goes!!

In these "tough times" does God really want us to tithe?

Firstly, a HUGE thankyou to those who commented and gave me advice on taking Eme on her first plane flight. She was a dream baby and went FANTASTICALLY! I will update on the trip soon...but for the moment I have something on my mind.

I am out of work. My maternity leave has officially ended, and since I am not returning to work full time, I am out of a job. I cannot commit more than 2 days a week to work and therefore, the majority of businesses out there don't want to know me.

This is an odd feeling for me. I have NEVER been knocked back for a position. EVERY interview I have ever gone for, I have gotten the job! So it came as a bit of a shock last week when I drove all the way up to Innaloo (from Kwinana) to go for a job interview that only lasted a maximum of 10mins to then be told I hadn't got the job. I was shell shocked!

Now, after a weekend away we have returned home to reality. A reality that we cannot live off Russell's chaplaincy wage and that if I don't find work THIS week, we may just not survive.

At the start of the year we decided that we really wanted to make sure that we tithed every week. We have tithed off and on since being married, and I really felt challenged by God this year to make an effort to always tithe. So, even though it has been scary to tithe, I've still been receiving a maternity leave pay and so it hasn't been too big a deal to tithe.

This week however, if we tithe, I don't think we will be able to afford groceries, let alone the electricity bill sitting on our fridge. But I still find in my heart that God is wanting us to tithe. I am of the opinion that God will still look after us and that he will pull through. However Russ is of the opinion that sometimes God wants us to use 'common sense' and save the tithing money and use it for our groceries, etc.

So which is it? Can it be both?

I am so confused right now and in amidst of all this unknowing and uncertainty I still feel a strange peace.

I so desperately want to be a stay at home mum. I want to focus all of my time and energies into being a mum and a wife and taking care of the family home, but I feel this huge pressure to go back to work so that our family can simply exist.

I don't feel God's leading in anything, other than to stay faithful to him and to tithe. But maybe I'm not hearing right...I don't know anymore.

I just simply don't know what to do.

How have your family's been going through these times? I find it hard to say that Australia is having a financial crisis, and that we are all doing it tough. We have had it so good for so long that I think this has been a much needed wake up call.

Have you and your family been tithing? Do you think God wants us to still tithe or do you think he wants us to have some 'common sense' and spend our money more wisely?

I need some Mummy Advice!!

On the Easter weekend we are flying over to Melbourne for a wedding.

Now, Emery is sleeping through the night - for roughly 12hrs and our flight is a 'red-eye' flight and we land in Melbourne roughly 2am (Fri morning). What do I do with her? Is this going to seriously mess up her routine? What if she cries the whole flight? Do I just try feed her to keep her quiet?

I know the weekend is going to mess her around a little, but I'm hoping it won't be too bad and that when we get home she will be ok, but I would really appreciate if any mum's out there have done this before?

Are there certain things I should pack? What should I take on board with me? What should we do when we get to Melb?

I'm planning on keeping her feeding times the same as WA time. We are only there for a short period of time so I don't see the need in trying to re-set her body clock.

Anyway...any advice or ideas would be FANTASTIC!! Thanks guys!

Soap Operas and Romantic Endings

By Rob Furlong
Challenge Newspaper Mar 09

I can honestly say that I have never watched a single episode of Neighbours or it’s mutant offspring Home and Away so I recently went online (in the name of research) to see what I had been missing. To say I was utterly bewildered by the end of my search would be an
understatement — I was totally confused!

I do have to admit though that I laughed loud and hard when I read the plot-line concerning a guy named Bob who lost his leg in a mountaineering accident only to be re-united with it when it (his leg) was discovered by a young couple on a romantic weekend camping trip. Can you imagine it? “Oh my, isn’t that Bob’s leg hanging from a tree? We must tell him quickly!”

Why are people so obsessed with soap operas? I think it is because many of us conclude our own lives are pretty boring and the “soaps” somehow fill a void for us by making life a little more exciting. But life is not like a soap opera! Life consists of a many things and these include the exciting as well as the mundane. Listen to the words of King Solomon:

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...”

In other words, there is a set time for everything that happens to us during our lives as well as there being a specific period of time for each of them. Solomon describes many of these events in the words that follow: birth and death, weeping and laughing, mourning and dancing, loving and hating, war and peace.

None of these events, or others, always occur all the time — they each are given a set time. And none of them lasts forever — they have a period of duration that can sometimes be long or short, depending on the circumstances. Sometimes life is vibrant and exciting, but sometimes it can be plain boring! Can you relate to that? I most certainly can! This is the ebb and flow of life and it is grounded in reality, not some ridiculous soap opera.

I say this because many people manage their relationships as if they were living in a soap opera. We all love the romantic movie where the knight rides off into the sunset with his princess and they live happily ever after. We conclude that this is how marriage is ... but is it?

In our own marriages we discover that there are times of happiness but also conflict and in extreme cases, it seems to be only conflict. What happened to the romantic ending? For one thing, we don’t have the privilege of seeing how things worked out for the knight and the princess but I am pretty certain they will have had their tense moments as well. We have been duped into thinking that happiness in marriage is merely about finding this wonderful person and then everything will automatically flow from there — we have been “Hollywoodised” about love and marriage.

Every marriage, even the best ones, have their times and seasons: times of laughter and passion and yes, times of conflict and boredom. The solution is to try and make sense of these times. This is why Solomon also said, “God has made everything beautiful in its time...” It is God who brings meaning to every moment of our lives. We can only ultimately be completely fulfilled in Him, not through some soap opera or unrealistic view about love and relationships. And He is also able to bring meaning and fulfilment to our marriages.

A growing marriage begins its life when two people say I do to each other and to God.

Then they are truly free to grow into unselfish people who find meaning in the times and seasons of their relationship with each other and with God.

Would you sing this at church?

A friend played this song to me this week and we were wondering whether you would be able to sing it at church as an item or not?

There is nothing wrong with it theologically, but it is pretty confronting...

what would you do?

White ManWords and music by Michael Gungor and Lisa Gungor

God is not a man
God is not a white man
God is not a man sitting on a cloud
God cannot be bought
God will not be boxed in
God will not be owned by religion

But God is love, God is love, and He loves everyone
God is love, God is love, and He loves everyone

God is not a man
God is not an old man
God does not belong to Republicans
God is not a flag
Not even American
And God does not depend on a government

But God is good, God is good, and He loves everyone
God is good, God is good, and He loves everyone

Atheists and Charlatans and Communists and Lesbians
And even old Pat Robertson, oh God He loves us all
Catholic or Protestant, Terrorist or President
Everybody, everybody, love, love, love, love, loveOh, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

Yeah, I say God is love, God is love, and He loves everyone
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la
Stop the hating, please just stop the hating now cause God is love
Oh, whoa, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

So? What do you think?

I just can't help myself!

Holding onto daddy's finger

Her tiny feet in my palm

Do we look alike?

Overloaded with toys

3 mths old with 'The teddy'

Super cool hoodie chick

Oh! And I got a new tattoo!!

Can anyone guess what the numbers mean?

Psalm 100

"Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.

Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the Lord is God.

It is He who has made us, and we are his; we are his people,

the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise;

give thanks to Him and praise his name.

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;

his faithfulness continues through all generations."

Emery's Dedication

On Sunday (22nd) we had Emery dedicated at church.

It is where Russ and I publicly vowed to raise Eme to know God and to give her every opportunity in her life to meet God and to 'hopefully' follow him also.

We had my dad do the dedication and I personally found it very emotional.

We picked Psalm 100 as our Scripture as we feel that it expresses the joy we have and the thankfulness we have to God for Eme's safe arrival, and for her in our lives.

v5 of Psalm 100 is:
"...his faithfulness continues through all generations."

Emery's (1st) middle name is Joy. My middle name is also Joy. We decided to carry the name through because of God's faithfulness.

My mum had 4 misscarriages, 3 before I was born. So when I finally came and mum & dad were finally starting the family they had been so desperate for, the gave me the name of Joy as thats how they felt!! Over-joyed!

When Emery was born I realised just how special she was. Mum probably thought that she was never going to be able to have kids, let alone Grandkids, and now, here, with Landon and Eme's birth, God was remaining faithful to her, and to me.

My parents have been blessed, and we have been blessed.

After dad prayed for her and was passing her back to Russ he said that we need to remember that Emery is a gift from God, on loan to the Ingrams, and that as stewards it is required that we be found faithful. This is what dad was told when mum & dad had me dedicated as a bub. (made me cry!)

Having a child is amazing. I can go on and on about the whole experience, and I guess thats why I haven't posted anything for a while...I don't want to bore you all with boring mummy, house-wifey details!!

But, I will indulge myself and update you on a few things.

I am still breastfeeding Eme and I find it one of the best things ever! It does get tiring and sometimes I wish I didn't have to do it, but I figure that she is only so little for such a short period, and in a few years or decades I will be missing having her so small that she fits in my arms. It is such a bonding experience and I love the fact that she watches me as I sing to her and smiles back mid-feed....except when she gets the milk everywhere!

And yes, she is smiling like crazy! She smiles back and even tries to talk. I swear I won't be able to get her to 'shutup' once she's older. She will be a talker, just like her dad.

She just turned 3mths old and is wearing 6mth old clothing. Sigh...

Today, she rolled over for the very first time! snif snif...my little baby is growing up! She went from her tummy to her back...she may have just over balanced herself, but I'm still holding it up as a small milestone!

I wish I could fully describe what its like to be a mum, but I can't. When people ask how its going, all I can say is "good". But that doesn't feel like it gives it enough credit. Motherhood makes me feel alive and I am just so thankful to God for this amazing miracle.

Thankyou for my little Eme-joy...she is the best thing that has ever happened to me (after Russ that is!!)

Emery - Who we named our daughter after

This is the band we named Eme after.

Try last through the first 30secs (I know it will be hard for some of you!) as the rest of the song is pretty good.

This is a really old song of theirs, but I LOVE it none the less :)

Eme's 1st Christmas...& some news...though it may not be news cos I can't remember if I've posted about it or not!!

Ok, so I know these are a little late, and I also realised that I just put these photos up out of order...but who cares?

These are just a couple of photos from Christmas Day. With new photos of Landon...the the poor boy is stuck in a Santa suit, and poor Eme has 'pant issues'.

Oh, and the big news is that my little Sister is PREGNANT!! She is due June 4th! And we are SOOOOO excited!

Another little playmate for Eme! I think she is having a girl, and I have already started collecting girl things. Maybe I should ask Sarah's "waters" what she thinks Kate is having!!

Anyway...sorry if that is old news, I really can't remember!

Eme with her Mummy

This has to be one of my favourite shots with her so far

Boxing day. It was a HOT day so Eme decided to wear a wet cloth

With Aunty Kate

Landon & Emery

Poor Landon had to suffer through wearing that suit and poor Eme had to suffer through her Mother pulling her shorts up to her armpits...just for a laugh

Uncle Russ with Landon the boofta

Dontchya reckon they look alike?

Next time it'll be arsenic

Do you think it's wrong to put extra chilli in your husbands dinner bowl just because your really annoyed at him?

Tuesday night...Russell pee'd me off so I had a very loose wrist while adding extra chilli to his chilli con carn.

I even lied saying that there was the normal amount of chilli there usually is while he coughed and spluttered.

I did confess in the end...but still...I had a legitimate reason...he was peeing me off!

Ho hum

Apologies in advance for this un-thought out post!

I've been missing my blogging. I just don't feel that I can find the time to really commit to writing a decent post. Plus I don't want to bore you with posts about babies and female-stuffs all the time.

Hmmmm what can I talk about that isn't baby-oriented?

Church? Neh....haven't been doing much with all the Christmas and New Years business that goes on.

I can't even think of any other topics....so here is a boring update post on us & babies and stuff like that! SORRY!!!

It will be 8 weeks tomorrow that Eme was born. It has absolutely flown by. Which makes me sad because it means my little girl has been getting bigger!!! (I'm terrible....I'm already crying about my baby girl growing up and leaving me and she isn't even 2mths old yet!!)

Having my own child now makes me appreciate all my mum & dad did for me. Especially mum. To think I was as small as Eme once and so dependent on my mum is weird to think about. Plus, my mum was younger than I currently am when she had me! I don't know where I would be without my mum at the moment. She has advice & help which I really appreciate.

I was talking to my sister about how people always feel they can comment and give advice on parenting to you. We agreed that it is so much easier to hear from our mum than it is from other people. I respect my parents and how they raised us 'kids'. Therefore, I am fine to go to them with questions and with hearing advice. However, if anyone else does this....then I get really pee'd off. I guess you establish such a strong relationship with your parents, that it's ok for them to make comments, and when other people do it - they haven't got the same relationship and therefore, I believe, they shouldn't be trying to make comment or give advice necessarily. Does this make sense? Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Basically...if I want your advice, I will ask for it.......

Um, um, um...Eme has been sleeping through the night for nearly 2 weeks now! I'm so proud of her...she is a good girl and she really is a pretty no-fuss bub.

Only problem I'm having is that she tends to just want to be held non-stop. I can't put her down in her bouncer of let her lie on a mat thingy cos she just wants to sit on my hip and go around with me all day. It's nice to know she wants to be with me and go where I go, but please.....a little independance girly!!! I can't do EVERYTHING one handed, though I like to think that I could!!

So, I guess if anyone who reads this has had a similar issue and you managed to 'break' your child out of the habit, I'd like to know how!!!

(There....I'm asking for advice!!!!)

Anyway...I don't REALLY have anything important to talk about, so I'll leave it there. Hopefully I will find some time in the next couple of weeks and get back into blogging more regularly!

I honestly don't know how Jen does it with 5 kids!!! You must be wonderwoman!!!

Better fly....bub has awoken and is searching for a feed from her blanket...I better go grab her before she gets a furball....